The Fight
by purplelogicwriter
Summary: The ask was: Sharon gets a major illness and is fighting with her kids, but then something unexpected happens that pushes all of that to the back burner. She has to muddle her way through all of it. (prompt from Tumblr) Now Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: So, I was MIA for a while because of school and life, but now I'm back :) This prompt was dropped to me on Tumblr by anonymous, so thank you anonymous, and I hope that it lives up to your expectations. The ask was: Sharon has a major illness and is fighting with her kids, but then something unexpected happens that pushes all of that to the back burner. She has to muddle her way through all of it.**

 **This is only the first chapter, but the next couple of chapters are written and I have a good idea about how this will end, but I don't want to give too much away yet.**

* * *

"Sharon. Stop. Wait! Mom."

That was the magic word, she spun to look at him, and he lost his words. They were both standing in the hallway about a step from the doorway leading into her room. She looked miserable, she was starting to cry, and he knew she wouldn't want to stand there and cry in front of him; on the other hand she wasn't going to walk away because he had basically demanded that she stop. If he was going to do something he needed to act quickly. Words weren't going to cut it. He did the one thing that he hoped would make her feel better because even when he didn't think it would make a difference when she did it to him, it always did. He moved toward her quickly and he hugged her.

She was surprised, he could tell because she gasped a little bit, but she didn't let him go. If anything she squeezed tighter. After she relaxed in his arms, he wanted to let go, but he knew that would be the wrong move, so he just held on. Finally, quietly he said, "Sharon, you have always been there for me, and I'm…I'm not sorry for what I said to them." He took a deep breath, letting her go in the process. She needed to see he was serious when he said the next part. "I know…no I…you are my mother too Sharon, and I want to be here for you like you are for me."

"Oh honey," her words were choked. "I just need a minute, and then we can talk about what happened." She turned and walked away before he even had time to respond.

Reluctantly, he went and sat on the couch, and replayed the whole horrible scene in his head.

 _He was just getting home from work, and thinking about what he wanted for dinner. He hadn't been paying attention in the parking garage, but he didn't think that Sharon's car was there. He wondered what kind of horrible murder she was dealing with today. As he unlocked the door, he could hear voices coming from inside. Panic hit him_ _._ _Pushing the door open he could hear yelling, but it wasn't Sharon. It was Ricky, and he was talking over Emily's voice. She was on Skype with them. Sh_ _aron_ _was so distracted by the argument that she didn't even hear him close the door._

 _Sharon was sitting at the dining room table, and she definitely didn't know he was there. He felt guilty for eavesdropping, but he couldn't make himself go into there just yet._

 _Ricky said, "Mom, what Em and I are trying to say is that we know it's not something that's easy to talk about, but why did we have to hear about it from dad?"_

 _Sharon was horrified, he could tell without even seeing her face. Rusty sure as hell didn't know what was going on, but he didn't like the way they were ganging up on her._

 _Her reply was soft and he knew at that moment she was about to start crying. "I don't even know how your father knows, and I was going to talk to all three of you together in a few weeks, when I had you all here, under one roof."_

" _All three of us? Mom we are your blood. Don't you think we deserve to know FIRST!?" Ricky was really mad about whatever was happening because he hadn't pulled that 'he's not your son crap' since Sharon yelled at him in the living room before the adoption._

 _After Ricky said it she turned her head away from the computer, and that's when she noticed him setting his bag down in the living room. He tried to play like he had just gotten in. Ricky and Emily were now bickering in the background, and Rusty couldn't even make out what they were saying because Sharon's eyes were locked with his. She was searching his face for something, and he decided she was wondering how long he had been standing there. Her face turned distraught, and a tear ran down her cheek. Apparently he hadn't played the 'I just got here' card well enough._

 _She stood and turned her back to all of them, and he couldn't stand it anymore. He went to the computer saying, "I don't know what is going on, but she's my MOM too! And can't you see what you are doing to her?" Then, he slammed the computer shut. He was pissed now because they, "her kids by blood", were upsetting her so badly._

Sharon had started hurrying to the hall, and that led to where he was now _._ Sitting on the couch worried if he did something wrong, and worried about what Sharon would say when she came back out of her room.

* * *

There were a thousand other ways she had seen today ending, and this was not one of them. She was sitting against her door in her room, trying to get her breathing under control. She hadn't shed any more tears since escaping the hallway, but she could feel them brimming just below the surface.

Jack had somehow found out her secret, and he had gotten to the kids before she could. Now they were all fighting, and the thing that hurt most of all was Jack had betrayed her. She really shouldn't be surprised anymore, but it still cut like a knife. He would know that this would be something that she would want to approach very carefully. Especially with Rusty, who was now probably angry with himself for stepping in the middle of everything, or maybe he was angry with her and her other kids, she couldn't be sure.

She was going to have to talk to all of them individually now because the group dynamic was obviously not going to work. She still couldn't believe Ricky had said what he had. Her heart was still aching, she had worked very hard to make sure all her kids knew they were equally loved, but Ricky was still having problems when it came to Rusty apparently.

There was a knock on the door that radiated through her back. She knew it was Rusty, and she knew she should've already gone out there to talk to him. He was worried; she could hear it in his voice.

"Sharon?"

She scooted to the side, she was so, so tired. Without getting up, she reached and opened the door. The look on his face when he looked down was priceless. It was a mixture of shock and amusement. "Sharon, uh, why are you on the floor?"

She stuck her hands out saying, "Help me up." He pulled her to her feet easily, but once she was upright he stepped back a couple of steps. "Come on," she said, heading toward the living room. Rusty was watching her closely, and she wondered what conclusion he had come to while she had left him alone. He was eyeing the armchair closest to her, but she wanted him close. She wanted to be able to break the news, and be there for him if he needed her. She didn't want him running down the hall away from her. So, she patted the couch beside her, and he sighed as he sat down. She was still trying to gather her thoughts when he started speaking.

"I wasn't trying to eavesdrop earlier, and I'm sorry I like interrupted. It was just that they were…I was just surprised." He took a second to breathe, but she could tell he wasn't finished. "It's…I'm sorry."

This boy was breaking her heart into smaller pieces. There was nothing for him to be sorry for. This was her fault for not talking to all of her children sooner, and it was Jack's fault. Even with them being divorced, he still was finding out very, very personal information about her. There was only one other person who knew her secret, and they wouldn't have betrayed her. If Rusty had walked in that door five minutes sooner, God, this conversation would be so much different.

Rusty was staring at her, and she knew she needed to speak. "Honey, you don't need to be sorry, and I am glad you told them what you were thinking." She smiled on the last part because he had openly referred to her as his mom. It wasn't something he did often, but every time it brought her joy. "I'm going to tell you what the argument was about, but Rusty I want to keep this between us for now, ok?"

Her eyes started to get misty as soon as she finished the sentence, and she tried to steel herself for the coming conversation, but she knew it would probably be a losing battle. She could kill Jack right now. He had always known how to push her buttons, and he knew what would cut her right down to the core.

"Sharon, you know I'm not going to tell anyone." She knew he wouldn't, but the request had been more to buy her some time to find the right words.

Rusty was starting to get fidgety, and he was twisting his sweatshirt around his thumb. She took a breath, and started, "At my doctor appointment," the tears were starting to spill over, "he found something, and I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow to get a biopsy." She hadn't been able to say it all or even use the word she needed to, but it was enough that he knew the implication.

His face was horrorstruck, and there were tears in his eyes; but hers were already rolling down her face. This information was so new to her, and she hadn't even had time to come to terms with it herself. She could only guess what was going through his mind. Sharon Beck had abandoned him so many times, and now there was the possibility that she would leave him too. They were completely opposite situations, but the result was the same. The one thing she had always promised herself, and him for that matter, was that she would be there for him. Her heart hurt for him. Her heart ached for both of them.

She reached for him, and he fell into her arms. He squeezed her so tight that it hurt, but she let him. She tried to hold back the rest of her tears, to be strong for him, but she needed him as much as she hated to admit it. It had only been two days since she had found it, and it still seemed surreal. Rusty loosened his grip, and she shifted to lean back without letting go.

After a little while, when they had both calmed down, he was the first to speak. "You should've told me Sharon. You don't have to do things alone anymore. That's what you are always telling me." His head was still lying on her shoulder, and she could feel his breath. It was calm now. He continued, "You're my family, and family…is there for each other."

When did he get so mature? When did he become the thoughtful and confident young man she knew he would always be? He had grown up right in front of her eyes. She took a breath, and made sure her voice was going to be steady. "I found out two days ago, and I wanted to have more answers before I had this conversation." It was true. There might have been other considerations, but that part was true. "Honey, are you ok?"

"Sharon, I want to go with you tomorrow."

That was a bad idea. She didn't want him there, because what if it was bad news. She didn't need him to know that quickly, and she would need time to compose herself, if it was bad news. She started shaking her head. There was always the possibility. No, he didn't need to come with her.

"Please, after all you have done for me. I want to be there for you," he tried again almost pleading this time.

This boy.

She leaned her head back, closing her eyes. She was so tired of doing everything on her own, and maybe he had a point. Maybe it would be nice to have someone drive her home. She had never wanted to burden her children, or make them her confessor. Especially Rusty, his life had been nothing but other people's burdens. Her life had always been a balance to make sure her children didn't have that kind of pressure from her.

"Rusty," she opened her eyes, but his gaze was still down. "Look at me for just a minute, please." He sat up, and his eyes met hers. There was hurt in them, and there was sadness. "I appreciate the offer, but honey, you don't owe me anything."

He just sighed, "You wanted me to be your son, well, I am, and a son would take his mom to the doctor." He wasn't going to give up, and this obviously meant something really important to him.

"Ok, my appointment is at 9. You can come with me."

"Thank you." He stood up, and she watched his face. There was something there that she hadn't seen in so long. Fear. That was her fault, and she knew it. When she was sure exactly what they were facing, she would make sure that he knew even if something happened to her he wouldn't be alone. He had other family besides her. He had a brother, a sister, and grandparents, and he would be taken care of. She would make sure he knew how very, very much she loves him.

"Do you need anything? Because I'm going to go study if you don't."

"No, I don't need anything. Go ahead," she said softly. She watched him walk down the hall, and just before he entered his room he looked back at her. She tried to smile, but she felt it fall flat. He was gone. She took a breath, and moved to find her phone. She needed to call her kids and smooth things over. Jack would be next on her list, but that conversation had nothing to do with smoothing things over.

* * *

How could this be happening? He couldn't lose Sharon. He had tried to be strong for her out in the living room, but now in his room he felt…lost. He stood there looking around his room. There were trophies on his desk; he would've never gotten them if it hadn't been for Sharon taking him in. The books stacked in his chair, and the one his nightstand. Sharon had gotten it for him for his birthday. He picked it up flipping the cover open, she had written in it. _Rusty, I'm always on your side. Love, Sharon._ Everything in this room she had given him, and all she had asked was that he be kind, safe, and go to college.

When he had finally come to terms with the fact that he loved her, he had tried to always do those few little things for her. It wasn't because she asked, but because he wanted to do it. He had wanted to make her proud.

There was a picture of the two of them on his nightstand, and when he flopped down on his bed he just stared at it. The memory came flooding back in his head.

 _It was from a trip they took to the beach. He had convinced her that they needed an escape. It was right before the big police operation to try to catch Wade Weller. She had insisted that they bring the security detail, but they had kept their distance. He and Sharon had been walking along where the surf met the beach, the water rushing over their feet. Then, he bumped her shoulder, walking sideways, pushing her further into the water. Eventually, it had turned into a splash fest, and one of the security guards had snapped a picture. They were laughing and splashing, but most of all in that moment they had been free. Free from the outside world, free from worry, and free from psychopaths. It was just the two of them._

His eyes were wet, and he rolled over pushing his face into the pillow. He cried, until he couldn't cry anymore. As his brain fluttered between consciousness and sleep, he made himself a promise. He would be there for Sharon, no matter how much it hurt, he would be there because even if she could do it on her own, he wouldn't let her.

* * *

Ricky and Emily had ignored her calls, and she hadn't had the heart to leave a message. They just needed some time. She hadn't even been diagnosed with anything, and they were angry that she hadn't told them. It was ridiculous, but she would give them their space until they decided to grow up and have an adult conversation.

Rusty had disappeared into his room an hour and a half ago, and she knew he would probably want dinner soon. She was in no mood to cook, and the apartment was feeling suffocating. Maybe they should get out, and go have dinner somewhere. She might be able to stomach that burger place that he liked; if it would cheer him up, it would be worth it. She got up off the couch and headed down the hallway. His room was quiet, too quiet. Maybe he had fallen asleep.

She cracked the door just enough to get a view of his bed. He was curled up, facing the opposite wall. The sight of him was tragic. She thought about leaving him be, but instead she went to him, sitting on the edge of his bed. The movement made him roll from his side to his stomach, and his head was facing her now. There was something endearing about his expression in that moment right before he woke up. His eyes fluttered open, and she brushed his hair away from his eyes figuring he was about to protest, but instead he just smiled.

"Sharon, I told you not to watch me sleep," he said it with a little chuckle.

She just laughed. "You hungry?" He was always hungry; she really didn't even need to ask. That got him smiling again.

"Are we cooking or ordering in?"

"I was thinking we could go out." That surprised him, it was written all over his face. He sat up, and she could practically see the wheels turning in his head. "You can pick where. Get your shoes." She headed off to get her jacket and shoes. Dinner with the only child that was speaking to her; she would take it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: Thank you so much to everyone who read, followed, favorited, and reviewed this story! Y'all are what makes writing so fun. So here is the next chapter…Enjoy!**

* * *

Sitting in the waiting room, with Rusty by her side, she tried not to show her anxiety, but it was probably a lost cause. She had been checking her watch every couple of minutes, and she had already leafed through all the magazines within reach. Rusty was pretending to do something on his cell phone, but she had caught his concerned glances aimed her way more than a few times. Breast cancer ran in her family. She had always known there was a possibility that it would catch her one-day, but she had hoped it would be much, much later. Especially now, that she had Rusty to consider.

She had gone through this process before. The last time she had gone in alone, pretending she wasn't terrified, and telling herself that no matter the outcome, she was strong, and even if she was alone she could handle it. It hadn't been until the doctor told her that it was benign that she had been able to breathe again. The second she had made it to her, car had she lost it. That's how it always was, she was strong for everyone else and always made sure they were taken care of, and then every once in a while when it got to be too much and she was alone, she would let everything out.

This time though, she felt…different, almost as if she knew the answer already.

This time she had someone with her, but she only wished it wasn't Rusty. She loved that boy with everything she had, and she didn't want to see what this would do to him if the results were different from last time. Rusty had been through so much in his short life, and his parents had abandoned him time and time again. She didn't want to do that to him again.

Finally, the nurse called her name, she stood to follow her, but before she did she turned to Rusty. He gave her a nervous smile and she squeezed his shoulder, in an effort to reassure him, before she turned away. The walk to the exam room seemed excruciatingly long, and with each step the anxiety in her chest grew.

* * *

He was getting anxious, it felt like the waiting room had gotten smaller, and with each passing minute he worried that something had gone wrong. They would tell him right? He was her son after all. No, he told himself, nothing had gone wrong. Sharon had told him that this was just a little procedure. They were just taking a sample, and that was it. Sharon didn't lie to him, but he worried she was downplaying the whole thing, trying to make him feel more at ease. Well, he had news for her…it wasn't working.

He looked at his phone; she had been back there for almost forty-five minutes. He tried to relax, but he couldn't stop fidgeting. The lady across from Rusty kept giving him looks, but he didn't care. He tried thinking about other things, but he could only think of Sharon. The way she had been this morning at breakfast. She hadn't touched her food, and she barely drank her tea. Her eyes were dark, and in the car her hands had been shaky. It was disturbing to see Sharon, his rock, acting so odd and out of character. He was trying to be brave for her benefit, but on the inside he was crushed and full of fear.

There were so many things that he wanted to say to her, but he hadn't been able to voice any of them. He knew Sharon didn't expect him to; she had never expected anything from him but to be kind and go to college. He loved Sharon, and he would do anything to just keep her with him. He thought back to the day that she adopted him.

 _The team had taken them out to dinner to celebrate, and he was sitting in a curved booth beside her. Neither one of them had been able to stop smiling since they signed the papers. The team had all finished making toasts. It was all so chaotic with conversations breaking out between people, and yet at the same time it was comforting because he had finally realized that this was truly his family. Sharon was sitting beside him grinning from ear to ear, and she gave him this look that he had grown to think of as her saying, "I love you" without actually saying it._

 _She brought her hands up to his face, and for just a second the rest of the world disappeared. They just looked at each other for…he wasn't sure how long…and then she had pulled him into a tight hug. Everyone started clapping around them, and he remembered being a little embarrassed. Mainly, because he had forgotten for just that small moment that they were in a room with so many other people, and he had just hugged Sharon like he never wanted to let go. The thing was he hadn't cared really that people had seen them. He loved Sharon._

There was some sort of silent communication that had passed between them that day. He would never be able to fully explain it to anyone, but Sharon believed in him. She thought he would go on to do things, important things. No one had ever believed in him like she did, and if he lost that…he didn't know what he would do. Suddenly, he was angry with himself because he was being so selfish. All of his reasons for her not dying were about him.

That wasn't true though because he wanted Sharon to be happy. He wanted her to get promoted like she deserved, he wanted her to maybe find someone she could love, someone that was good to her, not like Jack, and most of all he wanted her to be able to do the things she had always put on hold because she had been taking care of everyone in her life.

She should be able to travel, to go to all the musicals that she wanted, and anything else she wanted to do. Cancer was a bitch, but if anyone could beat it, he knew it would be Sharon.

He sighed, looking at his phone again, it had been an hour now. Just as he looked up from his phone he realized that someone was walking towards him. The nurse was looking him right in the face, and he stood to meet her halfway. She told him Sharon was asking for him, but she assured him that the procedure had been fine, and yes, Sharon was alright. With that reassurance, he followed the nurse to the back.

He walked into the room timidly; his first sight was Sharon sitting on the edge of the bed facing the wall. She turned to look at him, and he tried to give her his best smile. "Are you ok?" he asked putting his hands in his pockets.

She just nodded her head, but he didn't believe her. How could he? He had no idea what she was going through, but he knew what he was going through and it wasn't even him who had cancer. She patted the bed beside her, and he went and sat. As she slid her arm around him she said, "I'm glad you're here."

He didn't know what to say, so he just leaned into her embrace. They sat there not saying anything, enjoying the company, until the nurse returned. She handed Sharon some paperwork, and told her that someone would call with the results tomorrow morning.

As they walked to the parking lot Sharon handed him the keys, and asked if he was hungry. He wasn't, but they both needed to eat something. He drove to a little diner that Sharon liked. There wasn't a lot of conversation, both of them had a lot on their minds, but it wasn't uncomfortable. To him, it was just normal. Finally, he came up with a legitimate question, "Are you going to work tomorrow?"

"I took the week off, and unless something really big happens, you're stuck with me all week," she laughed when she said it, and that made him smile. They went back to silence, and he was left to contemplate…well everything.

* * *

Rusty had been uncharacteristically quiet since they had left the clinic, and she was worried. The second they made it to the condo, he had asked if she needed anything, and then he disappeared to his room. It was painful for her to see him like that, and she had no one to blame but herself. She was the reason for him hurting this time.

She laid down on the couch, with a throw pillow hugged to her chest and picked up the phone to call Jack. She needed to talk to him. No, she needed to scream at him, but she knew that would have no effect. In fact, it might have the opposite effect because for some reason he always took her anger as misguided passion. She wasn't even surprised when he didn't answer the phone. She left a very short voicemail, not trusting herself in the moment. "Call me," and then she hung up sighing.

She thought about calling her children, but she was exhausted, and she was not ready for that conversation yet. Their words had hurt, but she knew it would be up to her to smooth things over. She was the mother, and despite everything she loved them no matter what. She was just so tired from not sleeping for days, and there was constant worry in her heart. It would be better when she actually knew something because then she could form a plan of attack. It was the middle ground, the not knowing that made her feel helpless. She wasn't allowed to be helpless though because there were still people that depended on her. One of those people was right down the hall, and she just couldn't seem to find the right words to make his world right again.

She flipped on the TV in an effort to distract her mind, and to give Rusty some time to emerge from his room. Conversations with him were always easier when she knew for sure he was ready to talk. So she just continued to lie on the couch watching TV and waiting for the world to resume spinning.

/

She woke up to just the slightest sliver of light still shining through the curtains. She didn't remember falling asleep, but it was welcomed. She went to move her arm, but realized there was something beneath it. Rusty was sitting in front of her, on the ground, and her arm was draped over his shoulder. At her movement, he shifted and looked back over his shoulder. Seeing her eyes open, he moved off the floor, and into one of the armchairs.

She sat up abruptly, not really knowing what was going on. He must have read the look on her face. "I came to check on you, and you were asleep. When I sat down, um, you moved your arm around me. I didn't want to wake you by moving." His voice sounded sad, but she wasn't sure if it was about something else or this situation they were stuck in.

She managed to smile at him. "Thank you," she said quietly. After another minute of silence she decided that this was another situation she would be responsible for fixing. "Honey, I don't want you to feel obligated to me. This shouldn't be another burden for you—"

He interrupted, "You aren't an _obligation._ I just don't know how to help you Sharon. I want to help, but I just don't know how." She wasn't sure if he was done, and this was obviously weighing on him heavily. Just as she was about to speak he started again, staring at his hands, "With my…with _her_ , I always knew what to do when she was sick. I had years to figure out what she needed, but with you I haven't had that long." He finally looked up into her eyes, as though pleading with her, "Sharon, I can't lose you. I haven't had enough time."

He leapt from the chair, and she rose to meet him. It was with the same urgency as the night that he had almost been killed by Weller. He hugged her tightly, and the pain in her chest made her wince but she held onto him. She let him have what he needed from her, and she whispered, "I love you." With her words, he started sobbing into her chest.

She tried to calm him down, whispering in his ear and rubbing his back, but the more she tried, the more he seemed to lose it. She was at a loss, she didn't know what to do, and all she could do was hold onto him.

She had managed to back up far enough to move them to the couch, but he still didn't let go. So, she sat on the couch with him still in her arms, cradling him as though he were a child. Rusty was hardly the hugging type, and never the one to be held while he cried, but this was the second day in a row he had done just that. If that wasn't a giant red flag, she didn't know what was.

She wasn't sure how long they had been on the couch, but it was dark outside now. Rusty had fallen asleep in her arms, exhausted from crying. He hadn't been able to say anything to her after he broke down, but he hadn't needed to. She had felt every bit of his pain in his tears. Emotions were hard for Rusty, but she had learned everything he had been holding in during those moments.

She would make sure ALL of her children would be ok.

* * *

He woke up with Sharon's arms still around him, and suddenly very embarrassed about what he had done. He had broken down and cried when she was the one who might have cancer. Sharon must have felt him wake up because she squeezed him tight, and then moved her arms enough that he could sit up if he wanted to. She was leaving it up to him. He smiled. He didn't want to talk about what had happened, but he was feeling like he should say something. The problem was he couldn't make his mouth move.

After a couple of minutes Sharon shifted beside him, "Honey, sit up for a minute."

He did as he was told, but struggled to bring his eyes to meet hers.

"How about we order some dinner?" He hadn't been expecting that one. He had figured they were about to talk about what had just happened, but apparently they weren't, and all he could do was nod. "Ok, you order something, and I'll be back out in a few minutes."

"Do you want some place specific?" he asked as she was walking down the hall.

She turned and gave him a little smile, "Whatever you want." Then, she disappeared into her room. She was letting him pick with no stipulations…maybe she just felt sorry for him. Chinese then, because at least she didn't despise Chinese.

He got up to find his phone, and see if there was any wine left for Sharon. She could still have wine, right?

* * *

As she entered her room she looked at the clock. It was still early enough she could call Emily and Ricky. She decided to start with Emily. She knew her daughter would be freaking out wanting to know what had happened with the doctor, but she also knew Emily was stubborn. When she felt betrayed, she wouldn't be the first one to back down.

"Hey mom, I only have a few minutes before I go on. Are you ok?"

"I am fine Emily. I just wanted to check on you. You're dancing tonight?" She could hear girls giggling in the background. She really should just talk about all of this another time.

"Yeah, it's just something we get together every once in a while and do for a local college. I told you about it once." Emily sounded a little annoyed.

"Right. I forgot Em. Ok, honey you go dance. Call me tomorrow, ok?"

"Alright mom…I love you."

"Love you too sweetheart."

Well that could've gone worse. At least Emily answered the phone. It was Ricky that she was worried about, mainly because she knew Jack would be in his ear. _Jack_ was still a problem she needed to deal with.

She dialed Ricky next, but there was no answer. She left a message, and leaned back against her pillows. She couldn't wait for tomorrow to get here, so she could have some answers. She looked at the clock wishing it was tomorrow instead of just twenty minutes after the last time she checked it. About that time, she heard someone knock on the front door. Hopefully it was their food. Her bed was so comfortable though. She just wanted to sleep until she got the call letting her know one way or the other. Instead she sat up, and was just about to head back out to the living room when she heard Rusty.

"SHARON!"

She rushed out to the living room. The door was open, but Rusty wasn't standing in the doorway. She called his name, running into the hallway. Something was very, very wrong. She ran towards the stairs and down the eleven flights to the lobby. Just as she made it into the lobby she heard tires screech, and a she saw a dark van speeding away.

She was too far away to read the license plate, and it was dark outside. No. No. No. This was all wrong. She tried to breathe, but she couldn't. Her knees were weak and her vision fuzzy. She stumbled toward the security desk; the officer was unconscious behind the desk. _This cannot be happening._ She dialed the only number she could think of, but when he answered she had no words. All she could do was mumble, "Help me Louie."

After that it was just darkness.

* * *

When he had heard Sharon's words he had no idea what to think, and she hadn't said anything else, even when he had yelled for more information; worst of all she used his first name. He had hung up the phone and made the call for an officer down at her address. He had no idea what he was facing as he drove up to her building, but the one thing he did know was that this was going to be a very long night.

The building was surrounded by black and whites, he saw Andy's car, and Cooper's SIS van, to an outsider it would probably look hectic and unorganized, but to him, after so many years on the force, it felt familiar and reassuring. As he made his way into the building, he saw Sharon on a stretcher, being loaded into the ambulance. He rushed over stopping them before they shut the doors, the EMT said she was unconscious and hadn't said anything. Flynn was suddenly at his side saying he was going with her, and for once he couldn't disagree. She shouldn't be alone. "Go," he said.

He got the details from the patrol officers about where and how they had found the Captain, and then he headed up the elevator to her condo. _Good God, he thought_. The pieces were starting to come together. Rusty was missing, Sharon had apparently run after him, and then she had collapsed. He didn't know if there was foul play where she was concerned, but he knew she had taken medical leave for a week. That was probably the cause of her fainting spell. She hadn't said specifically what the leave was about, but if she had taken time off he figured it had to be serious.

Finally, walking into the condo he saw his team gathered in the living room. "What do we know?" he asked making his presence known.

Julio chimed in, "Nothing sir. There are no signs of a struggle, no blood, no evidence at all. The door was open when we got here."

The looks he was getting from the team were disheartening, and they were looking to him for direction. The problem was, this time he didn't have a direction.

"How is the Captain?" Amy asked.

"Still unconscious." He didn't have any information for them. "Ok, listen up. The Captain will be depending on us to find Rusty. She wouldn't want us worrying about her, and you all know that. So let's not let her down. Do your jobs. Find something."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: This is a short, sort of filler chapter, but good news I'm posting this one and the next one at the same time. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

As she began to wake up and take in her surroundings, she knew that Rusty being gone wasn't just a nightmare; it was reality. She remembered it all. Rusty screaming, her running down the stairs, the van, calling Provenza, it was all very vivid in her mind. The only thing she didn't know was why she was in the hospital. Surely she hadn't had a heart attack.

She could hear Andy's voice in the hallway, and it sounded like he was on the phone. She sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. When she didn't feel lightheaded she proceeded to grab her clothes off the chair, and headed to the bathroom to get dressed. She pulled her IV out in the bathroom sticking a paper towel over it to stop the bleeding. Then she quickly changed.

Just as she was pulling her shirt on she heard Andy come into the room. "Sharon?" When she didn't answer he continued, "You ok in there?"

She really didn't need a babysitter right now, and despite whatever he had told Nicole about their relationship, they were not dating. She definitely didn't need Andy hovering over her. What she did need was to get out of this hospital, and to go find Rusty. She needed to find him before Stroh killed him. That was the only explanation for all of this…Stroh. He was pretty damn brave to walk up to her door and grab Rusty, but Stroh was a bold person. She never ever should have let Rusty decline that security detail. Adult or not, he was still her baby. She hadn't had enough time with him.

"Sharon, seriously say something!"

Ugh.

"I am fine Andy. What did Provenza say?" She was dressed now, but she wasn't ready to walk out there and argue with him.

"He was checking on you. That's it really," he said.

Was he trying to torture her right now? Throwing the paper towel away, she opened the door saying, "What did he say about Rusty!"

"Oh my God Sharon you need to be in bed! Why are you dressed? Don't you know you were unconscious for a while? The doctor—"

She cut him off, "I am leaving. Yes I do know. And as for the doctor I am signing whatever I need to in order to leave. Now, what about Rusty? Anything!" When he just gave her a blank stare she walked out of the room toward the nurse's station with Andy in tow.

"Ma'am," she heard someone say behind her, and she spun around coming face to face with the doctor. "Mrs. Raydor, I need to speak to you privately."

She really didn't have time for this. "Fine." They walked back to her room, and she shut the door in Andy's face…the doctor had said privately.

"Doctor, listen I know you're going to give me a lecture and tell me I need to be in bed, but my son is missing. I need to get out of here!"

The doctor studied her for a moment and then finally said, "Ma'am do you know that you have a mass in your left breast and spotting on your lungs?"

Suddenly she was feeling weak in the knees again, and she decided to sit before she fell down. The lungs. No, she didn't know about the lungs. She guessed that she didn't need to wait for the biopsy results now because if it was spreading then it was cancerous. The room was starting to spin, and she reached out to the doctor. She wasn't sure why, but she needed something to keep her grounded.

The doctor proceeded to tell her that she had more than likely had a severe anxiety attack today, causing her to faint, but without more testing they couldn't be sure. They had sent her to x-ray to make sure there were no broken bones, and that is when they saw the cancer. She told the doctor about the biopsy and the lump, but the doctor had that information already too. This was the absolute worst timing to be having a medical crisis. She couldn't wrap her head around it. Just this morning it had been _if she had cancer_ and now it was a sure thing. She wanted to scream or cry or anything except sit here and be…lost.

The doctor handed her a release form, and told her to go find her son, but to take care of herself too. She had promised to see her regular doctor to set up a treatment plan. When the doctor had finally left the room she ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, and making it to the toilet just in time to vomit.

This could not be happening.

She heard the bathroom door open behind her, and Andy came up behind her pulling her hair back while she was sick. When her stomach settled, she leaned back against his kneeling form, and he put an unsure hand on her shoulder. Maybe she needed him just a tiny bit. He whispered, "It's going to be ok Sharon."

But was it really?

As she found her resolve again, she told herself that no matter what, Rusty being found was the priority. Her body would just have to hold on a little while longer.

She pulled away from Andy, and he helped her to her feet. For just a moment she looked into his eyes, trying to communicate to him that she couldn't talk about it right now. He knew because he stepped out of her way, and she walked out of the bathroom.

She was going to find her son.

* * *

Exiting Andy's car and taking in the scene surrounding her condo was overwhelming. She hadn't expected such a response, but she was thankful for it. As they neared the building she saw her team huddled, SIS had joined them, she wanted to find out exactly what they knew, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Andrea leaning against a squad car. The blonde's back was to her, but Sharon could tell she was worried. Her shoulders were tense, and she was biting her nails, a habit that only showed itself during the worst of situations.

Andrea must have sensed Sharon's stare because she turned around and their eyes locked. Then, as if she were looking for injuries Andrea's eyes scanned the Captain's body. Sharon gave her a weak smile and mouthed the words, "I'm fine." She held up a finger signaling she would be right there as she passed Andrea heading for her team.

As she walked up to the group Amy started to ask how she was, but Sharon just told everyone, "I am fine." It was lie and they all knew it but everyone had the sense not to question it. "What have you found?"

Amy was the first to answer, "We found security footage of the van that took Rusty and we put out a want for it, the two men had on hats and sunglasses, so not much of a description. Your building's security officer is going to be fine, but he doesn't remember much."

Provenza asked, "Is there anything you can tell us about the men, Captain?"

That was the thing she hadn't seen them, and up until this point she hadn't even known there were two. Everything was just a blur, the run down the stairs, the phone call, the hospital; all of it was running together. She knew they needed her statement, but for one of the very few times in her life she was lacking the right words. There had to be some clue that they were missing, but she knew it wasn't going to be in her statement.

She started the only way she knew, "I was in my bedroom, and I had just gotten off the phone with Emily or Ricky. Rusty and I were waiting on the Chinese food we ordered. There was a knock, I figured it was the food, but then Rusty yelled my name. I ran out of my room, but he was gone. I ran down the stairs just in time to see a van pulling away. That's when I noticed the security guard on the ground, and I called you." She nodded her head towards Provenza, who just nodded in agreement. "Anything after that I'm not exactly clear on."

There. Those were the facts, but they failed to express the amount of terror she had felt when she heard Rusty yelling her name, or the absolute heartbreak she was feeling now. She knew that every minute that passed was another minute Rusty could be dead. She knew they all knew that though.

Provenza assigned tasks, and she hadn't heard a word of it because all she could hear was Rusty's scream for help. The only thing that brought her back to reality was noticing everyone dispersing and Provenza's hand on her shoulder.

"Sharon, maybe you should sit down, you're white as a ghost," he said.

Andy grabbed her arm gently, and led her to a bench nearby. He said something about water before he walked away. That is when she saw Andrea again, walking towards her. Sharon decided she needed to get out of here, and away from this building. She needed to go find Rusty, but she just didn't know where to start. Andrea sat down beside her, and without saying a word she just grabbed Sharon's hand. They sat like that until Andy brought back the water. They all just sat there wordlessly. No one knew what to say until his phone rang and he walked off shouting something to the person on the other end of the call.

"Why don't we go to your office? Get you away from here for a little bit," Andrea said quietly, leaning in close to the Captain.

All Sharon could do was nod her head in agreement, and follow the blonde to her car.

* * *

Sitting in the Murder Room wasn't much better than sitting outside of her condo. The waiting to find something, anything was torturous. Watching her squad move about making phone calls and requesting information seemed so normal, but the concerned glances they shot her before announcing anything to the rest of the squad were anything but normal. They felt like they had to tiptoe around her, but tiptoeing wasn't going to find Rusty. There were very few leads as it was.

She had been looking down at her hands when she heard the unmistakable sound of Emma Rios entering the room. As Sharon tried to steady her nerves for what was sure to be an unpleasant conversation, Emma threw her bag down on an empty desk.

"Tell me you didn't let my witness get kidnapped!" Emma yelled while boring holes into Sharon with her eyes.

Was she serious!?

Sharon stood abruptly, "Let him?" Her voice was ice cold, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Amy shrink down in her chair. "How did I let him!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Rios. You might want to wait just a minute," Provenza said. Sharon had already begun moving towards the DDA, but he stepped between them facing the Captain. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before he said, "Let me handle this for you."

She would've loved to let him, but she knew Emma too well. If Sharon didn't take care of this right now Emma would just keep on and keep on. The thing was Emma didn't have a case against Stroh anymore because the monster was escaped and if Sharon had any say in it he wouldn't be coming back alive. She shook her head. This day was just getting worse and worse. "Chief Taylor's office DDA Rios." Without saying another word, she just turned and headed down the hallway.


	4. Chapter 4

"What the hell are you talking about?" Flynn yelled to his partner.

"You know what I am talking about! The Captain doesn't need you hovering over her 24/7," Provenza replied.

"I'm not hovering."

"Right. And volunteering to go to her condo with her isn't hovering. For God's sake don't you know the woman at all!" Provenza was getting fed up with his idiot partner.

"I just don't think she should be alone, that's it. I am just trying to be a good friend." Andy rolled his eyes as he finished the sentence.

"Her son is missing. If Nicole was missing think about how you would feel." He gave that a second to set in before he said, "She's not alone. Hobbs is there."

Andy just turned on his heel and headed towards the break room. It was a good thing too because Provenza had had enough.

Rusty had been gone for a little over 48 hours, and they had run down all the leads they had. All his years on the job told him that the chances of finding the kid alive were slim to none, but to voice that out loud wouldn't solve anything. This was Rusty, and he knew the Captain would never give up.

She had finally agreed to go home, which was a small miracle in itself. There was definitely something weighing on her other than Rusty, but in her true form she had refused to discuss it, and he hadn't pushed her either. She was a strong woman, but if she needed someone she would be the one to make that call. Until then their job was to look for Rusty.

Patrol had found the van, and it was being processed but Provenza wasn't hopeful. There had been blood in the backseat, and it was being ran against Rusty's DNA. Stroh didn't leave witnesses, even though he could have been half way around the world right now, not leaving Rusty behind was apparently more important.

They just needed more to go on, and that just wasn't happening. As he walked back into the murder room and took his seat, he observed the team. Tao was on the phone and typing something. Sanchez was digging through a file box, and Amy was writing on the board, another lead that didn't pan out.

Provenza found himself replaying his earlier exchange with the Captain.

 _All night and all day she had done a good job of keeping her emotions under control, minus a few moments when she snapped at someone, but when the call came in that a young male matching Rusty's description had been found, all bets had been off. She snatched up the address from Sanchez, and took off towards the elevator. Everyone had been stunned for a moment by the news, and she managed to make it to the scene ahead of them._

 _Morales had arrived about the same time as the Captain with the rest of the team not far behind. Doctor Morales had done his best to keep her back, but there was no holding that woman back if there was a chance it was Rusty. Provenza had walked up about the time she pulled the sheet back, he was praying to whoever was listening, that it wasn't Rusty. No parent should have to see their kid like that, police or not._

 _The Captain fell to her knees before he, or anyone could catch her, and she was crying. When he was sure she wasn't going to fall any further he looked at the body, relief washing over him. It wasn't Rusty. He realized she was crying out of relief._

 _Provenza called DDA Hobbs, asking her to come to the scene, and to get the Captain. Everyone else needed to be working, Flynn included, whether he believed it or not. The DDA and Captain seemed like good enough friends, that he figured she would be ok. After that, he led the Captain to his car to wait on Hobbs._

" _Its not him," she just kept repeating it as they walked._

" _Sharon, listen to me," but she wasn't and he knew it, finally when he got her in the car he said, "don't do this to yourself."_

 _That got her attention, and her eyes went wide and her voice was low, "He's my son, and some monster has him. What exactly am I supposed to be doing?"_

" _I mean, you can't go around to every coroner rollout to make sure that it isn't Rusty. We will find the kid," he said._

 _She just turned to look out the windshield, tears still streaming down her face. "I need to go home," she said quietly._

" _Hobbs, is on her way to take you, and I will get your car to you."_

" _Fine."_

 _He was surprised when she didn't protest, but the woman looked exhausted. She needed to go home and rest, or at least get away from the office, and all of the disappointment that came with being there and getting no results._

It was all easier said than done, but at least she didn't have to sit here and watch after lead after lead came to a dead end. The questions in the back of everyone's mind were how long would they keep most of the department on the case, and what would happen to the Captain when this was all said and done.

Finding him alive would be the only outcome where she might be ok.

* * *

She had gotten Sharon home, but the car ride had been silent. Now Sharon was in the bath. Andrea was in the kitchen trying to find something to make for dinner. She had been over enough to know where most things were in the kitchen, but it looked like they should have stopped at the grocery store. She made a mental note to pick some things up for Sharon tomorrow.

Sharon hadn't eaten all day, and whether or not she wanted to she was going to eat something. Andrea heard a door click in the hallway, and she figured Sharon was just getting dressed. But when she had some stir-fry made, and Sharon still hadn't emerged, she decided she should go check on her.

As Andrea walked down the hallway, she noticed Sharon's door was open, as well as the bathroom door, but Rusty's was closed. Very carefully the blonde opened the door, to reveal Sharon sitting on the ground, back against the bed, and she was clutching a piece of paper. Her eyes were closed tight, but the tears were still streaming down her face; the sight was enough to break Andrea's heart. As she crossed the room, careful not to scare Sharon, she slowly sat beside the woman wrapping her arms around her.

The one time Sharon had cried around her, she had been a silent crier, and Andrea had thought it fit her personality well. The cries coming from the woman now were not silent; they were loud with heaving breaths. With each sob and cry Andrea could almost feel all of her pain and guilt and hurt. All Andrea could do was hold her, until she had no more tears left.

After a good length of time, Sharon managed to calm down. Her breath was still shaky when she spoke, "I found it crumpled up next to the trashcan." She handed the blonde the paper she had been clutching tightly.

Looking into the older woman's eyes for approval before she looked at the paper tightness grew in her chest. Finally, Andrea looked down to read what was on the paper. It looked like it had been torn from the notebook he carried with him everywhere, and the words seemed to be just a stream of thoughts he had written down.

 _I don't know how to make her be ok, but I will be there for her._

 _I can't lose another mom._

 _I won't cry anymore, she needs me to be strong._

 _I will take care of her until the end._

 _I love her._

Oh no. There was something going on with Sharon that Rusty knew about, but apparently Andrea didn't.

Was Sharon trying to tell her something?

Rusty's words were heartfelt, and they were full of emotion; the page even had tearstains on it, whether they were his or his mom's she wasn't sure. There was only one real explanation for the words.

"Sharon, what did the doctor say?"

She knew that Sharon had taken the week off from work. When she had pried the Captain in Sharon came out and had shut Andrea down saying that she just needed to get some tests run. Andrea had left it at that, knowing that the older woman would come to her when she was ready.

"I have cancer," she said it as an affirmation to the thoughts already running through the blonde's head.

There were no words to be said because everything seemed inadequate at the moment. What was she supposed to say? _Sorry. Everything will be fine._ Yeah that would be stupid. She just wrapped her arms back around the woman she had become great friends with, holding on as though that would fix everything.

"He thought he needed to take care of me, but I was supposed to be taking care of him. Its my job," Sharon said quietly with her head rested on the other woman's shoulder.

"He knows you have taken care of him. You gave him a family. You saved his life. Most of all you love him. He knows that. He will always know that." The words hung over them for a minute, "Honey, we need to get off the floor, and you need to eat."

"I'm not hungry," Sharon said sitting up, releasing Andrea.

"I know, but you haven't eaten in over a day, besides Rusty would want you to eat." It was a low blow she knew that, but Sharon could be very stubborn. Standing up, she helped Sharon to her feet, and she led her to the kitchen.

Just as they were finishing up eating, there was knock on the door. The look of panic in Sharon's eyes brought bile up into Andrea's throat. Sharon slowly rose, and went to the door, but when she looked out the peephole, her demeanor changed. She straightened her shirt, smoothed down her hair, and cleared her throat before opening the door. As the door swung open, it was the one person Andrea had least expected to see…Jackson Raydor.

Great.

Just great.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n: Thank you again for everyone that has read and/or reviewed this! I love hearing what you think! There's good and bad news. The bad news is you are probably going to want to scream at me towards the end of this chapter. The good news, I will tell you at the end of the chapter :) Enjoy!**

* * *

"Jack, what are you doing here?" Sharon said with a very low voice, obviously showing her discontent.

Jack surveyed the room, staring at Andrea as he spoke, "I heard about the kid, and thought that I would see if you were ok. It looks like someone else thought the same thing."

Sharon looked over at Andrea who was obviously feeling a little uncomfortable. She stepped between Jack and Andrea to bring his focus back to her. Jack must have taken her movement as an invitation because he stepped inside the door and shut it behind him.

"Jack," Sharon said about the time Andrea starting speaking.

"You know maybe I should go to the store now instead of later," Andrea said.

She didn't really want Andrea to leave, but there were things she wanted to say to Jack that shouldn't be said in front of other people. So, she just nodded her head in agreement. Andrea grabbed her jacket and purse and headed out the door, managing to squeeze by Jack who was still hovering just inside. With Andrea gone, Sharon didn't feel as though she had to pull any punches.

"How could you do that to me Jackson? How could you go to the kids with something like that?" She had managed to keep her voice steady but it was full of emotion.

"I simply asked Ricky if you had told him anything about your health. I didn't know he would call Emily, and then they would get so angry," he said with a smirk.

Oh, he did know what he was doing. He knew how much it would hurt her to be fighting with her kids. He knew that she would want to have all the facts before she brought something like that to them, or anyone else for that matter.

"How did you even know about _it?_ " she snapped.

"Well Shar-on, I was walking by the ladies room at the station, and I could hear you in there talking. So I just listened a little harder. You were talking to a doctor weren't you?"

She was fuming now. "You listened through the bathroom door to my conversation! Oh my God Jack!"

"Hold on Sharon, just hold on, that sounds a lot worse than it really was. I was just concerned that's all." She studied his eyes and when she realized this was just one more time he was saying what he thought she wanted to hear, she couldn't decide if she wanted to shoot him or just throw him out.

"We are divorced Jack! You don't have any right to know things about me unless I tell you about them! And if you ever use our kids against me again—"

"Sharon, look I'm sorry, ok?" He interrupted and started walking towards her, but she held up a hand shaking her head. She wasn't going to do the old song and dance with him again. They had been down that road too many times before.

"Have you found out anything about Rusty?" he asked after they had stood in silence for several seconds just staring the other one down.

She didn't want to talk about Rusty with him. In fact she couldn't talk about Rusty with anyone. Maybe it was the guilt, maybe it was the hurt of knowing he could be dead; no matter the reasons, she decided she was allowed to feel however she wanted about Rusty.

"I don't want to talk about Rusty with you. I don't want to talk about my health with you Jack. And honestly I don't want to talk about anything with you right now. So, please just go." Maybe it was a little harsher than she would've been in the past, but things were getting to be too much right now. She just wanted him to leave. She just wanted to be alone.

"Fine, Sharon. Maybe this wasn't the best timing. I'll check back with you later." Before she could say anything else he had opened the door and left.

She sat down on the couch and hugged a throw pillow to her chest. This was the first time she had been left alone since Rusty had been taken, and she just needed to process. The team seemed to think she needed a babysitter, but she didn't. She could handle it; she could handle it all. She was just exhausted, in pain, and grieving, but she could handle it. It was possible she was just trying to convince herself, but that was the first step…wasn't it?

* * *

"Provenza!" Tao yelled even though the man was standing just around the corner talking to Flynn.

"What is it Tao?" Provenza said in his usual grumpy demeanor as he rounded the corner.

"There is a woman on the tip line that says one of the men from the picture we circulated of the men getting into the van is her ex-husband. Gregory Sanders."

"Sanchez run that name and get an address," Flynn said standing next to his partner.

Tao continued, "She said that he's got a red Toyota Camry."

"Amy see if you can get a license plate number and put out a want," Provenza said.

Finally. They had something solid to go off of. They needed to find this guy and quick.

"I've got something," Sanchez said standing to go to the printer. "He's got a record for assault and battery, also, statutory rape."

"Oh my God," Amy said, bringing everyone to a halt.

"What?" Flynn prompted.

"The license plate was one of the one's we flagged from the security cameras outside the Captain's building," she said reading from a paper in her hand.

Provenza snatched the paper out of Julio's hand. "Ok, he's got an address in Lakewood, and lucky us, he's on parole. Flynn get his parole officer to meet us there. Let's go everyone."

Hopefully they would find this guy in time to get some answers, or maybe they would get lucky and find Rusty…maybe. That was if Stroh hadn't killed off his partner yet.

* * *

Sharon Raydor was one of the best friends she could've ever asked for, but the truth was Andrea didn't feel like she was an equally good friend. She didn't feel bad for running out of the condo, and leaving Sharon and Jack to talk. It wasn't that. She felt that way because she was never sure what to do for her or what she needed. Sharon was a hard person to read, and she could juggle so many things with a grace Andrea had never seen before. The thing was right now she knew that Sharon needed things, but she had no idea how to be there for her. Her son was missing. She had cancer. She was fighting with her kids. Jack was being his usual self. She had a division to run. Her plate was full, and yet somehow she was still managing to make it through the day.

How was she supposed to help Sharon with any of that?

She stood outside of Sharon's condo listening for voices, trying to make sure Jack was gone, but she didn't hear anything coming from inside. She knocked on the door and waited, but Sharon didn't answer. Andrea knocked again; still no answer. She called out her name through the door, and when there was still no response, Andrea headed down to find the building manager. She tried to tell herself that it was possible Sharon had just fallen asleep, the woman had to be exhausted, but Andrea definitely didn't have a good feeling about it.

The building manager reluctantly let her in, and she set down her purse next to Sharon's while juggling the bag of groceries. She looked around the apartment, and nothing seemed out of place. She headed into the kitchen, and that's when she saw it. She dropped the bag, moving her hands to her mouth as a gasp escaped. There was blood on the ground, and there was a bloody handprint on the edge of the counter as if someone had tried to pull themself up off the floor.

"Sharon!" she yelled running down the hall, checking all the rooms, but she wasn't there.

She wasn't anywhere!

Andrea stood in the middle of the living room trying to think about what could've happened, but all of the scenarios were terrifying. With a shaky hand she pulled out her phone and dialed Sharon's team. _Please let her be alive,_ was all she could think as the line began to ring.

* * *

 **I know I know I'm sorry! Ok good news I won't be leaving you hanging for long, and we will get to hear from both Rusty and Sharon in the next chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n: Thank you again to everyone who is reading this story! I love reading your reactions and reviews, they make my day, even when you are yelling at me :) Enjoy!**

* * *

The ground was cold and hard beneath her. Her head was pounding. Even with her eyes open, she still couldn't see anything. It was so cold. She felt around on the ground around her, but there was nothing, just cold metal. Her head was killing her, but she managed to get on her feet. As she felt around, she walked carefully, taking tiny steps, until she found the walls and eventually a door. The problem was, there was no door handle. It was then that she realized she was inside an industrial cooler.

All of a sudden she felt very helpless, but she shook her head. No. She wasn't going to go there, not now. There had to be a way out, and if she could just get out, then maybe Rusty was nearby. There could be a chance that she could still save him. She rubbed her hands together, trying to feel some sort of warmth while trying to establish a plan.

As she felt up and down the walls looking for some sort of escape she tried to keep her fears contained. She wondered how she could've been so stupid after Jack had left, but maybe it was just a sign of how truly exhausted she was. Just before she could dwell on it any longer she felt something, instinctively she pulled her hand away, but almost immediately she felt for it again. It was a screen cover like the ones that went over a fan. The fan wasn't running so she tried to pull on the cover, but with no success. Her fingers ached with coldness, but if this was her one shot she had to take it.

After several more unsuccessful tries she hit it out of frustration. There was shuffling from behind the fan and she jumped away; frozen where she stood, she listened as hard as she could. After not hearing anything else, she wondered if she had just imagined the movement, but the second she stepped closer she heard it again. She was torn between calling out to whomever was moving or staying silent, but then she heard a small whisper come through the opening.

"Hello," she heard, but there was something about the tone she recognized immediately.

A flood of emotions and relief washed over her; she almost couldn't contain herself when she said, "Rusty?"

The boy must have pushed himself up against the fan because his voice was clear when she spoke again. "Sharon?" There was a brief pause. "Oh my God Sharon! Help me!"

He sounded so desperate, and she would have given anything to be able to gather him in her arms again, to be able to hug him one more time.

"Honey it is ok, everything is going to be ok." She couldn't help but try to reassure him even though she knew there was absolutely nothing ok about this situation, but at least she was hearing his voice again.

"He got you too didn't he? I'm so sorry Sharon. I am so s-sorry for everything." His voice was starting to break and she heard his sniffles. Just hearing him, and not being able to see anything but the darkness made it that much more tragic.

"Rusty," she whispered, waiting for him to respond, but when no response came she tried again. "Honey, it's going to be fine. I'm going to get us out of here," she promised.

It took a few minutes before he said anything. "There's no way out Sharon. I've tried. The only way is when he let's you out of the box." He had found his resolve again, and she was grateful because she didn't know if she could handle hearing him cry for much longer. "When he takes me out, there is a door at the end of the hall, but I don't know if it is locked. J-just don't go in the one to the right."

Ok. Good. That was good information.

Wait.

"Why does he take you out of here?"

Silence.

"Rusty?" she prompted.

"Later ok?" His voice had that tone it used to take when she brought up seeing a psychiatrist. Instantly there was tightness in her chest.

Stroh was a monster, yes, but was he—

Suddenly Rusty was speaking very fast and very quiet. "He's coming. It's fine Sharon…no matter what I am fine. You have to make it out of here for Ricky and Emily ok? I love you."

She barely had time to say she loved him back before she heard his door open and muffled words. She couldn't understand what was being said until she heard Rusty say, actually he had to be yelling, "Back off asshole!"

They were gone and all she heard was her own breathing echoing around her. She sank down to her knees. What was that monster doing to her son, and why was she here? It didn't make any sense why he would take her too. She finally allowed herself to think back to how she had gotten there.

 _Jack had left, and as she sat there alone in the condo telling herself that she could handle everything, she decided that she hated the silence surrounding her. When Rusty had moved in, the noise of having someone in her home, after years of quiet, drove her crazy. Now, she realized that when she had been living without the noise, she really hadn't been living at all._

 _If Rusty never came home to her again…she thought she might actually go mad._

 _She flipped on the TV, but didn't change the channel. She just wanted the quiet to go away. Somehow, she made it to the kitchen, and she was making tea when she heard the click of the door. Did she not lock it when Jack left? As she turned away from the counter to make sure it was Andrea, something struck her in the head sending her to the floor. She tried to stand, but she was still dizzy and slipped. She barely had a chance to look up and see Phillip Stroh smiling down at her before he stabbed a needle in her arm._

He had to have drugged her because she had woken up here, in this cooler. How could she have been so careless? Why hadn't she called out instead of turning around like an idiot?

Before she could get any angrier with herself she heard the muffled sounds of screams; screams that had to be coming from Rusty. She was at the door and banging on it before she knew it. She screamed and pleaded to be let out, to stop hurting him, but it was pointless; or she thought it was until the door opened.

She stumbled back away from the light, allowing her eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness. When they did, she saw a man standing there, but it wasn't Stroh. She didn't know who he was, but he had a gun pointed at her.

"Against the wall!"

She did as she was told, but the whole time she was watching him, looking for a chance to make her move. Just as she thought about trying to take the guy, Stroh rounded the corner coming into her line of sight.

"Cuff her, and then leave us," Stroh said to the other man.

Just the two of them now, a staring contest began. A few seconds in though, he began smiling. It was a wicked smile, and he even let out a small chuckle.

She had had enough, "Where is my son?" She demanded, not breaking eye contact.

"Well Captain, he's…busy."

This was not a game she wanted to be playing with him. She decided to try to shift the focus. "What do you want Phillip?"

He put his hand on his face and gasped in mock amusement. "Me? Want something?" He pulled out a knife and turned it over in his hands a few times.

If it was meant to frighten her, it didn't. She knew he wouldn't have risked taking her to just kill her here and now.

"Well Sharon, I want what you and Brenda and Rusty took from me." She just continued to stare. "I want my freedom and I want my… _hobby_ back. But since we both know that's not going to happen, I am going to take away the thing both you and Rusty love…each other." He smirked while standing up, "Before we get to that though, there's something I want you to see...let's just call it, my new hobby"

He turned and walked to the door, but she didn't follow. She didn't want to see anything he had to show her.

"Well come on Captain we don't want to keep Rusty waiting, do we?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n: I'm a day late, sorry to those that I said this would be up yesterday. Thank you all for the reviews and for reading! This one gets intense at the end, Enjoy!**

* * *

"What do you mean Sharon is gone?" Provenza yelled into his phone.

His partner, who was driving them to Gregory Sander's house, snapped his head over with an inquisitive look.

"Hobbs, calm down! Flynn and I are on our way," he made a twirling motion with his finger to tell his partner to turn around, "we will be there in 15 minutes. Just don't touch anything."

He disconnected the call as Flynn was turning around. He called Tao and told him to process Sander's house with the team, but to send Amy to meet them at the Captain's.

"What the hell is going on, and what did you mean Sharon's gone?" Flynn asked.

"Hobbs said there was blood in the kitchen and the Captain isn't there."

"That son of a bitch!" Andy exclaimed flipping on his lights and siren.

Provenza couldn't help but agree with his partner's sentiment in this situation. Why hadn't Taylor given her that security detail?

* * *

"I am going to kill this bastard," Andy said as he looked around Sharon's kitchen. There was blood on the ground, but it didn't seem like enough to start thinking the worst. She had probably been hit and then as she fell, hit the cabinet making it worse. He bent down to pick up a blood-soaked tea bag. She had been making tea when she was attacked.

He heard Provenza tell Sikes to call Jack and have him meet them at the station.

Great.

Jack was an asshole, but if he could give them a more definitive timeline that would be helpful. The problem with that was Jack would call her kids, he was good at that. Andy shook his head at his line of thought. This wasn't the time.

The SID guys were starting to arrive, and Andy decided to get out of their way. As he handed the tea bag to one of them, he headed to the living room to find Andrea. She had been pretty shaken up when they had gotten there, and he wanted to make sure she was doing better. He spotted her out on the balcony and made his way to her through the open door.

As he sat down beside her she said, "I shouldn't have left her. She shouldn't have been left alone."

"Andrea, you can't do that to yourself. If you had been here, you could have been taken too…or dead."

It was true and he was probably an idiot for saying it, but hey, it was the truth. If Stroh hadn't been expecting Andrea to be there, or if he hadn't wanted her, he could have killed her on the spot.

"I know, but it doesn't make it any easier," she said quietly.

Boy did he know that. He really, really cared for Sharon, and being the one to investigate all of this was not easy.

"We are going to get them back," he said finally.

"Well, we need to hurry then because time is running out," she said, standing up and offering him a hand.

They walked back inside just in time to hear Provenza on the phone with Sanchez. He put the call on speaker.

"Sir, Sanders is not here, but his roommate said that he had been hanging out with a _creepy dude_. Sanders kept mentioning something about a restaurant that's not open anymore. Honestly though, the guy is high on something so I'm not sure he is reliable."

"What kind of restaurant?" Provenza asked.

"He wasn't sure sir, but hold on Tao has something." There was shuffling and static on the other end before Tao's voice came on.

"There isn't really anything helpful here, but in the garage where Sander's car should be parked there is mud. I am going to have it analyzed, and it should be able to give us a more precise area to start looking. I can use an infrared—"

"Ok good. Bring the roommate with you back to the murder room. Maybe he will sober up and remember something," Provenza said cutting Tao off and wrapping up the call.

It was always funny to watch his partner get fed up with Tao and his long explanations, but today there was something else there. His eye brows were scrunched up and if you watched closely you could see the worry in his eyes; the worry that they had too little to go on, and maybe they wouldn't find them in time.

* * *

Following Stroh out of the cooler and down the hallway, she saw the doors that Rusty had been talking about. Above the door at the end of the hall, there were wires sticking out like the ones for an "Exit" sign, and she figured at one point this had been a restaurant. There was a small utility closet on the left, but Stroh stopped in front of the door on the right. Rusty had told her not to go in the door on the right. When he had said it his voice had broken, and she knew that whatever was behind that door she didn't want to see.

However, if he was in there, and there was a chance she could save him, she had to go in there. She had to do something. There at least had to be a way to buy them time, and give her team a chance to find them. The team would know by now that she too, was missing, and they wouldn't stop until there wasn't another lead to follow; she knew that. She had to keep believing it because the alternative was not something she wanted to think about right now.

"Are you ready to see your _son_?" Philip asked.

She wasn't going to dignify that with an answer, so she just stared straight ahead at the door.

He grabbed her handcuffed hands, and slammed her back into the wall. "I said, are you ready to see your son?"

There was pain shooting through her back, "Yes." She said it with as much resolve as she could, but she couldn't help but feel her eyes growing wet with tears.

Stroh let go of the handcuffs and turned to unlock the door. As he pushed it open, she tried to steel herself for whatever she was about to see.

When the door opened, a man walked out and shook hands with Stroh, and she tried to look past them into the room. The door was blocking her view, but she could see Rusty's legs. He was on the floor, back against the wall she assumed.

Stroh told the man, "Same price as before," and instantly her blood ran hot and she was pulsing with anger. She bided her time and once the other man was out the door at the end of the hallway, she realized Stroh was distracted making sure the man was gone too, she grabbed the knife off of Stroh's belt and stabbed him in the leg. They struggled and he pushed her back, but she managed to pull the knife with her. Without thinking she ran forward and stabbed him right in the chest. He hadn't been able to block her attack, and he crinkled to the floor. She pushed to knife in further, just to be safe.

She jumped up and ran to Rusty. She knew the man that had handcuffed her wouldn't be far away, and if they were going to get out of here now was the chance. Rusty was out of it sitting in the corner; he had been drugged. She shook him saying his name, but it took several times before he said, "Go away!"

"Rusty we have to go. Can you stand?"

He was beginning to come around and every second he got a little more coherent. "Can you stand?" She repeated.

"Maybe, not sure." He was pointing to his leg.

She looked down to see the chain wrapped around it. She wondered how she hadn't seen that before.

"I've got to get the key. I'll be right back."

He mumbled something about her not leaving him, but she didn't have time to comfort him. She had to get them out of there. Looking up and down the hallway for the other man she made her way over to Stroh's lifeless body. She went through his pockets looking for the set of keys he had used to unlock the door, finding them she unlocked her handcuffs and rushed back into the room. She tried all of the keys, but none of them went to the lock on Rusty's leg.

She just needed to think. OK. The other man had to have the key. She stood up pacing, trying to figure out if she should leave Rusty to go searching for the man or lure him here. Rusty would be safer if she went out there alone.

"Sharon," she heard his small voice and turned instantly, "go get help. I'll be fine."

He was definitely not fine. There was blood running down his chest, she could see it through his shirt, and she could only imagine the other things he had had to endure. He was not fine. She wasn't leaving him to find help. No, she was going to get them both out of there.

She knelt down beside him and pulled his shirt back to reveal a bunch of tiny cuts on his chest. What had that man been in here doing to him? They didn't look life threatening at least.

"I'm not leaving you honey, but I've got to go find the keys ok?"

He nodded his head, but his eyes were closed.

"Rusty, if he comes in here before I get back, I want you to scream so that I know, and I will come running ok?"

She got the same response, but she needed to make sure he had heard her.

"Open your eyes, so I know you hear me."

He looked at her finally saying, "I scream and you come running."

She hugged him tight before she got off the ground. Looking back at him one more time before exiting the room, his eyes were closed again.

With some effort, she managed to pull the knife out of Stroh's chest, and she headed down the hall in search of the other man. They were getting out of there one way or the other.


	8. Chapter 8

It had to be some sort of miracle that Tao's infrared _whatever_ analysis had turned up anything, let alone some sort of bug that was limited to two areas just outside of Los Angeles. They had found out that only one of those areas had a restaurant that closed about five years ago, when a drought forced the entire town to shut down. The place was some sort of ghost town now. After all the dead ends, wasted hours, and all-out frustration, they might actually have something; he couldn't believe it.

Andy had spent the last few hours convincing Sharon's children, Emily and Ricky, that they did not need to fly to LA, and that he would keep them informed. Luckily, he had been able to call them before Jack could make things worse. It wasn't that Andy didn't think they should be there when Sharon was found; it was that the LAPD didn't have the time or the resources to protect them and search for their mother and brother. It was just safer in general if they stayed away until everyone was found and Stroh was dead. Eventually, they had come to their senses, but he had to promise to update them every couple of hours. He figured it was the least he could do.

Now, as he and the team raced their way out to the ghost town, all he could think about was if Sharon really was alive, he wouldn't go another day without telling her how he truly felt. He didn't know what condition Sharon or the kid would be in, but it didn't matter as long as they were alive.

He and the team were only fifteen miles away now.

They just had to be alive.

* * *

She slowly crept down the hallway with the knife in her trembling hands. She tried to keep her breathing under control, but it was a seemingly impossible task. She could feel the adrenaline pulsing through her, and even the slightest movements around her were making her jumpy.

As she made her way to the corner, she slid up against the wall preparing to look around the corner. She brought the knife up, and looked around realizing that she was back at the room with the coolers. Turning left, she went down the short hallway, but it was a dead end into a small office. She backtracked, this time going around the right side of the coolers, but that led into a dining room. Methodically, she checked it, but there was no one there.

On one hand, it was a relief, but on the other, she still needed to find a way to get Rusty free. She made her way back to the office to look for a key, or anything that she could pick the lock with.

Just as she opened a drawer she heard Rusty yelling, "SHARON!"

It was the same gut-wrenching scream from the day he was taken from her living room. All the fear and anxiety she had been having about being trapped in this restaurant intensified by a thousand.

"SHARON!"

She grabbed the knife off the desk, and took off towards Rusty. As she rounded the corner, she realized Stroh wasn't lying on the hallway floor. Immediately she put her back to the wall, looking up and down the hallway, but there was no one.

How was that possible?

"SHARON!"

With each scream her stomach twisted tighter, but she had to be smart about this; she couldn't allow her emotions to get the best of her if she was going to get them both out alive. She could hear someone telling Rusty to be quiet, but she couldn't tell whose voice it was.

She slid down the wall, inching her way closer until she was just outside the doorframe, peaking around the corner just enough to see the man she couldn't identify standing behind Rusty with a gun pointed her way.

She wasn't sure what to do because it wasn't like she had a gun to point back at him, and where the hell was Stroh? He couldn't have gotten far because she really had thought he was dead!

"I know you're out there lady," the man said.

She tried to relax her voice and sound neutral. "I am. Why don't you put down the gun, and we all just walk away?"

It was a long shot; she knew that.

"Yeah right, no one ever gets to just _walk away_."

True. She would come looking for him, but she would let him walk away for right now if he would just let Rusty go.

"Ok then, why don't you tell me how we get out of this?" she tried again.

"Come in here so I can see you," he said.

Rusty was being uncharacteristically quiet, and she was glad he wasn't antagonizing the man. That would just escalate things quicker, and she just needed to buy some more time. She tucked the knife in the waistband at her back and stepped into the doorway with her hands raised. There was no reason to provoke this guy yet.

She searched Rusty's face, but he was just staring at her with a stony face. She hoped that he had that look because he was still feeling the effects of the drugs, and not because of anything he was feeling toward her. She tried to give him a reassuring look before turning her attention back to the man.

"Now what?" she asked calmly.

In the far distance she could hear sirens, and almost wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, if it hadn't been for the gun pointed at her. She was just thankful he wasn't aiming the gun at Rusty. She realized Rusty must have heard the sirens too because his eyes were growing wider.

* * *

He couldn't believe how calm Sharon seemed on the outside, but he knew she had to be freaking out like he was. Then he heard it, the sirens, but he didn't know if he should react or say something. Just as he was opening his mouth, he saw Sharon's almost imperceptible headshake. She wanted him to stay quiet.

"You know lady, Phillip was right about you. You are a cold bitch."

Instinctively Rusty elbowed the guy, and instantly regretted it when he was hit in the head by the gun. He heard Sharon gasp, but he looked up at her trying to tell her he was fine. The sirens were growing louder and he knew that the team was almost there.

Sharon spoke again, "They will be here in just a few minutes. You can still get out of here."

Rusty was distracted touching his head and feeling the blood, and he saw it too late to warn her. Out of nowhere Stroh came up behind Sharon, holding his chest with one hand, and with the other he grabbed the knife Sharon had hidden. Rusty yelled, and she turned around about the same time. It was too late though. He heard the knife stab into Sharon and she fell forward.

Seconds later the team was screaming in the background for Stroh to drop the knife, but Stroh went to stab Sharon again and there were shots. Instinctively Rusty hit the ground. On the ground now, he realized everyone was still shouting for the other man to drop the gun, but he tried to focus on Sharon. He reached for her and was barely able to grab her hand because of the chain on his leg. He squeezed her hand, her eyes were closed, but he felt her squeeze back.

There was more gunfire, and the man fell on top of him. He struggled against the weight until he felt the team lift the guy off.

It was total chaos around him, and his head was spinning. He felt the chain release his leg, and he crawled to Sharon. Everyone was trying to pull him back, but he had to get to her. He needed to know she was still alive.

He was so dizzy, but he could see Sharon clearly. She was breathing.

She was alive.

He heard Amy's voice, "Rusty you're bleeding stay still."

There were paramedics working on Sharon, and then there was someone trying to help him. He didn't need help though, and he pushed them away yelling something about "Help Sharon!"

Why was he so dizzy?

People were holding him still and then he felt something beneath him. He started rolling, but Sharon was rolling too. It was ok though because they were going together. He heard Provenza say something about the hospital, and he felt himself nod because that was good. Sharon needed a hospital.

There was only one ambulance, but they loaded them in side by side. The paramedics were working on Sharon, and all he felt was terror again as he tried to move but he was belted in. He struggled against the restraints and he couldn't help but start yelling. He had been tied down a lot in the past few days, and he didn't want to be anymore! They had come this far, Sharon had gotten him out alive, but he couldn't lose her, not now.

One of the paramedics said to him, "This is just going to relax you a little so we can work on your mom." And then he felt the needle go in. He tried to say something, he tried to stop them because he didn't want to be knocked out again either, but it was too late. All he could see was blackness again, and then he couldn't hear anything.

* * *

Standing over Stroh's dead body was a feeling he could only describe as relief. They had gotten there just in time, but Sharon had still been almost killed. Tao bent down to look at the body closer.

"He's got stab wounds in his torso and leg, and they look like they happened hours ago," Tao said.

Good. She had stabbed him first, but he couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't finished the job then.

Provenza and Sanchez were standing over Sander's body. Sikes was on the phone with Morales. Buzz was videoing the entire horrible scene.

He was stuck here waiting for FID because he had shot that son of a bitch Stroh, and this would be one time he knew he would be cleared no problem. Everyone wanted that asshole dead. He decided that he needed some air while he waited, and turned to walk out, only to hear his partner walking behind him.

"Flynn, wait up."

He didn't stop until he got outside. They both just stood there looking out in the distance for a little while. Neither one needed to say anything because they both already knew what the other was thinking. After so many years on the job together they just knew each other.

It wasn't until Sikes came outside that anything was said.

"It looks like he held them in the freezers, and that the room we were just in was set up as some sort of bondage room. We probably won't know the details until we can interview the Captain and Rusty," Sikes informed them.

The men just nodded their heads. Andy couldn't bring himself to think about anything that might have gone on in that room.

When she didn't get a response she said, "Morales and Kendall are on their way, and FID should be here any minute." Again all they did was nod. "Right, ok, I'm going to help Buzz."

Just the two of them again, Provenza finally said, "Call her kids and let them know we found her."

Right. He should call the woman he love's kids and tell them what? "Hey I found your mom, she was stabbed, but the guy is dead." Right. No, he needed a minute to calm down before he made that call.

Provenza just stared at him until he replied, "I'll call them in a minute."

His partner just nodded, "Sikes didn't fire her weapon, I'm going to send her to the hospital to be there for the updates. Taylor and Hobbs are already there waiting for them to arrive," Provenza said.

"That's good," Andy said.

Another long look between the partners and Provenza headed inside to find Sikes, while Andy pulled out his phone to call Sharon's kids.

* * *

 **A/n: Whew we all made it through that! Except for Stroh, and I really wish they would kill him on the show for real! Next chapter is coming soon, and hopefully it will be a little happier :) Reviews always welcome!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/n: This chapter is more about setting things up for the coming chapters than anything else. The next one is almost done, and should be up soon. I am going to do my best to be done by the premier which is ONE WEEK from now! Enjoy!**

* * *

They had gotten to the hospital just as she was coming out of surgery. The minute he heard she was going to make it, he thanked God with everything he had because if he had lost her, he didn't know what he would do. If only they had gotten to them 30 seconds sooner, they wouldn't be in this situation.

Provenza had tried to stop him, but he had bullied his way into her room. Just sitting there, watching her breathe was enough to bring the tightness out his chest. After he had been sitting there for a while she began moving a little, and eventually she opened her eyes.

"Hey beautiful," he said.

"Andy," she managed after a moment. She closed her eyes again, but when she opened them she had a small smile on her face.

"Listen Sharon, I've got to tell you something," he hesitated, searching her face, but she was still struggling to keep her eyes open. "I love you, ok? And I just needed you to hear it. I love you."

Her eyes were closed, but she was still smiling. He took that as a good sign. Really though, he wanted her to say something, anything. He sat there for a while longer wishing she would talk to him, but she needed to rest. That was more important right now.

As he stood, he brushed a kiss across her forehead, and turned to leave. When he opened the door she finally said, "I know." It was quiet, and at first he thought he had imagined it. Well, it wasn't an, _I love you too_ , but he would take it because at least she was alive and he had told her finally. He couldn't help but smile.

Andrea was standing outside the door when he stepped into the hallway.

"Guess I'm not the only one who uses their position to get past the nurses," he quipped.

"Yeah well, what can I say? How is she?"

"Out of it I think, but she's waking up." He tried to sound positive.

"Good, that's good," she said quietly.

He thought Andrea looked tired; probably she was just as tired as the rest of them. It had been a long week, and she had been stuck right in the middle of all of it too.

"Well, I'll get out of your way."

"Thanks," she stepped toward the door, but caught his arm before he walked away, "Andy, don't beat yourself up. They're safe now."

"Right."

He would try not to.

* * *

Sharon had been drifting in and out of consciousness since she came out of surgery two hours ago. The doctors had assured them that everything had gone fine, and she would make a full recovery. Now, sitting next to her bed, seeing her open and close her eyes, Andrea was starting to feel some truth to the doctor's statement.

Amy had filled Andrea in on what had happened and what the team had seen. It was all horrible to hear, and Andrea just hoped that Sharon and Rusty would be able to mentally move past this. She would be there for them and the team would be there for them, but no one knew what they had been through or what they would need.

She was just about to get up and let someone else come sit with her for a while when she felt Sharon squeeze her hand. She turned to see Sharon looking right at her.

"Hey," Andrea said quietly squeezing her hand back.

"Where's Rusty?" Sharon questioned with a raspy voice.

Of course that would be the first thing she asked about.

"He's in the room next door." Andrea could see the relief flash across Sharon's face. "He's going to be fine Sharon," she said trying to reassure her.

"I need to see him," and she made a move to pull back the covers.

"Whoa Sharon! No, you just got out of surgery, you need to stay still." Andrea tried to keep her still, and after a few seconds Sharon quit struggling.

"Andrea, I _need_ to see him."

The look in her eyes was cold enough to put out a fire, and Andrea knew that one way or another, it was going to happen.

"Ok, but let me get a nurse and a wheel chair," she got up and moved to the door, turning back to point at Sharon, "Don't move until I get back."

Sharon just nodded her head. Just outside the door, she walked right into the team. They all shot her questioning and concerned glances.

"She's awake and wants to see Rusty," she said to their unasked questions.

"She just got out of surgery for God's sake. She needs to stay in bed! You told her the kid is asleep right?" Andy said.

Andrea just nodded.

Provenza decided to chime in, "We all knew he would be her concern," he shot a glare around the group. "I'll go get the doctor."

Andrea followed him down the hall in silence.

* * *

She let them roll her to his bed, but then had asked to be left alone. She just needed to be alone, and to be reassured that he was all right, to her standards. Before Andrea had left the room, she told Sharon that the doctor would be in shortly to give her the details.

She hadn't expected him so quickly because she had just barely grabbed Rusty's hand when the doctor knocked. She instantly recognized him, even though she hadn't seen him since college.

"Tom?" she questioned.

"You know Sharon. I've thought about looking you up for years, but I never expected to catch up this way," he smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back. He continued, "You always did have to do things up big."

It was true; in college she had a phase where the flash and flair had taken over.

"Those days are long gone Tom, I assure you. How is my son?" She looked back at Rusty's sleeping face, he seemed peaceful enough.

Tom hesitated and the silence was making her nervous. "How much do you want to know?" he asked.

"All of it," she said quietly, but with resolve. She needed to know, or at least she thought she did.

Tom told her about Rusty's injuries, and the speculation about how he had gotten them. She just sat there shaking her head. Hearing about it had made her sick to her stomach. Then, he told her that they had purposely sedated Rusty in the ambulance and again while she was still in surgery.

"I don't understand. Why, if he doesn't need it?"

"In the ambulance they had him strapped to the gurney, and he couldn't calm down." It was beginning to make sense; he had the injuries to support being restrained. She could understand not wanting to be tied down. "Then, when he woke up here, a nurse was changing his bandages. He was screaming and thrashing around, calling for you. We felt it was best to sedate him, rather than restrain him again so he couldn't hurt himself or someone on the staff."

Her poor baby, that was all she could think.

She couldn't disagree with their choices because if he had torn his stitches or pulled open his healing wounds it would have been worse for him.

"When will he wake up?"

"Probably an hour, maybe two. We were hoping this time when he woke up you would be awake too."

She had nothing to say because it all just felt like it was becoming too much. Stroh had—

"Sharon, you should go rest. You've had a rough few days too, and your battle isn't over yet." She looked from Rusty to find Tom's eyes. He knew about the cancer, she could see it on his face. "I'll have someone get you when he wakes up. You'll be right next door if anything changes."

It sounded like he was trying to convince her, and in theory it sounded good, but no. She couldn't leave him again, knowing how bad things were. No, she needed to be there for him.

"I will wait, but thank you for your honesty Tom. And thank you for taking care of him."

They shared a long gaze, "Don't wear yourself down, you need rest."

She nodded her head, and he left her sitting in the wheelchair next to Rusty's bed.

/

She wasn't sure how long she sat there holding his hands and whispering for him to wake up, but when his arm and fingers started twitching she let out a sigh of relief. His eyes fluttered open, and she felt the rush of panic go through him in the way his muscles tensed and the sound of his rapid breathing.

She squeezed his hand, "Rusty, honey, it's ok. I'm right here."

He was just starting to get his eyes to fully open. As soon as his eyes landed on her he jumped.

"Honey, it's ok," she tried again, rubbing his arm to make him relax.

"You—you're alive," he managed to get out.

"Yes I'm alive. We're both alive."

She didn't know what else to say, and if she had more energy she would try to get out of the chair to comfort him.

That's when the tears began to stream down his face. He curled up in a ball, wincing in pain, clutching her hand, and he cried. She rubbed his back and smoothed his hair telling him it was going to be all right. It was heart breaking, but he needed to get it out. He needed to be able to process everything that had happened, and if this was the first step then she would hold onto him and help him through this step and every step after that.

"I'm sorry Sharon. I am just so sorry."

"Shh you don't have anything to apologize for."

"I almost got you killed, and I'm just so sorry—"

"Calm down. We're both here now. That's all that matters," she tried to reassure him again.

She was exhausted, and feeling weaker by the minute.

"Rusty, I need to go lay down. My room is right next to yours, and the team is in the hallway. Will you be ok if I leave for a bit?"

"Yeah I will be fine, but uh, can you like come back later?"

He was looking very uneasy at the thought of her leaving. "Of course, or how about someone, maybe Buzz, keeps you company, and when I have a little more energy, you can come to my room and we will watch TV and eat something. How does that sound?"

He nodded his head eagerly. She knew he didn't want to be alone, and someone would sit with him; she just wished she had the energy to stay with him herself. "Ok good," she smiled at him, "push that red button on your bed so the nurse can come get me."

As the nurse came into the room, she turned back to Rusty, "You're safe here," she really wanted him to know that, "I love you and I'll see you in a bit."

"I love you too."

The nurse rolled her out into the hallway, and she hadn't expected everyone to still be there. She tried to give them her best smile, but she just felt so weak.

"Captain, is there anything we can do?" Amy asked.

"Actually, Buzz do you think you can sit with Rusty for a while?"

"Of course," he said standing up.

"I told him he could come to my room when I wake up." Buzz nodded. "But um, if you can't stay the whole time could someone switch out with Buzz. He—I don't want him to be alone."

Everyone nodded and she figured they all understood.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/n: So obviously I missed my deadline, but I went out of town and just couldn't keep up with everything and decided that since this is purely pleasure it was at the bottom of the list. Sorry. Anyway, the next chapters are mostly written and will just require editing before posting because most of it was written on airplanes :) Enjoy and as always let me know what you think!**

* * *

It had taken three days for them to release Sharon from the hospital. They had let him go after the first day, but Sharon had let him stay with her. She hadn't forced him to go stay with anyone on the team, and that had surprised him. He figured she would give him some spill on sleeping anywhere other than in a hospital, but she hadn't. He was just relieved she let him stay, even if it was on a tiny cot. He hadn't even minded, he just didn't want her to leave him. Plus, he figured them being together through that time was probably the best for them both.

Now, she was getting ready to go home. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she still didn't look good, but she looked…better. He helped her into the wheelchair and grabbed their bags, now, they just had to wait for the Lieutenants to get there and give them a ride home. Just as he was about to call them again, there was a knock on the door. Before he could turn around he heard Emily's voice.

"Mom!" Emily practically ran to Sharon and gently hugged her.

He saw the pain on Sharon's face, but when Emily pulled away she had replaced the pain with a smile. He wondered if she had done that earlier with him, when he hugged her, and he felt a little guilty about it now.

"Emily, I told you and your brother to stay home. I am fine."

Sure, she was fine; no one believed that, not even her.

"Really mom?" Emily just shot back a look that mirrored her mother's.

"Really, but I'm glad you're here sweetie," Sharon's voice was soft now, and it was times like this that a lingering jealousy bubbled up inside of him. He pulled out his phone trying to disguise it, but when Sharon looked at him, he knew she had seen it. She had a way of knowing what he was thinking that he hated sometimes.

"Are you ready mom? Ricky is waiting with the car."

"Did you talk to Lieutenant Flynn about picking us up?" Sharon questioned.

"Yes," she smirked, "he was never going to pick you up, we were."

Great. They did know Sharon like needed rest, right?

"Ok let's go then," she said.

The car ride was full of conversation. It was mainly Ricky and Emily talking, Sharon would chime in every so often, but for the most part, it was just them talking about their flights and the airports. He had sat there looking at his phone, not really doing anything on it, and wishing they were home already. He missed home. But with _his siblings_ here, he knew it wasn't going to be the peaceful escape he wanted.

Even with everything else, he still hadn't forgotten the fight he had walked in on.

Walking through the door was like instant relief. He knew everyone involved was dead and that he had been taken from here, but it was still home and it still felt safe somehow.

Emily and Ricky were helping Sharon get settled, moving pillows and what not, much to her protest. It was a little comical, but he took it as an opportunity to escape to his room.

Shutting the door behind him, he surveyed the room. Sharon had been in there, he could tell because things were straightened up. Lying next to his bed though was a piece of paper. When he picked it up, he instantly knew what it was. There were tearstains on it now, and panic flowed through him. He had never meant for Sharon to see that. It was just a way for him to release his thoughts. Dr. Joe had taught him that.

He tossed the paper on his bed and then, he kicked off his shoes and plopped down beside it. He could still hear them talking in the living room, but his bed was so much more comfortable than he remembered.

* * *

Having all her kids under one roof was wonderful, and given the events recently she considered it a miracle. The older two of course had wanted to know all the details. She had given them the bullet points. There was no reason to subject them to the horror of it all; she already had one child traumatized because of it. After that draining conversation had come the other. They had apologized for their earlier behavior, but all of that had been the furthest thing from her mind. She still didn't have many details to give them because she herself didn't know anything. She had an appointment in a few days to establish some sort of game plan.

The kids had said they would stay as long as she wanted them to, but they had jobs and lives, it wasn't their responsibility to be here. No, she wouldn't be a burden on them. They were both leaving in a couple of days. It was too short, but she knew they would be back soon.

Now, Emily and Ricky were in the kitchen bickering about what to order for dinner, and Rusty was still in his room. He had run in there right after they got home, almost two hours ago.

There had been something on his face at the hospital and in the car on the way home, but she just couldn't put her finger on it. The past few days had been hard, seeing him hurting and withdrawn. He hadn't left her side except for a few times to go eat with Buzz or Provenza, and each time he had looked distressed.

She understood, but he had to learn to trust her again and to know that she wasn't going anywhere. She had to show him he was safe again. It had taken a tremendous amount of hard work to build that bond with him, and if somehow it was broken…no, she had to believe that it was just the trauma of the situation. They would be fine; she would make sure of it.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Emily questioned.

"Trying to get up." She thought that was obvious.

Emily helped her off the couch. "You and your brother go pick up some groceries to get us through the next few days. I won't be shopping anytime soon."

"Ok, but what do you want?"

"Just get some food Em," she said a little frustrated. "You can get some money out of my purse." She started to head down the hall.

Emily stopped her, "But you should be resting, and one of us should stay with you, in case you need something."

"I'll be fine," she finished it with a pointed look.

Waiting until the door closed behind them, she knocked softly on Rusty's door, trying to turn the doorknob, but it was locked. So they were back to that. She knocked again, and this time she heard hurried movements behind the door, and then a bedhead Rusty opened it. She had obviously woken him.

"Sorry to wake you," he stepped back to allow her in, "I just wanted to check on you."

He sat heavily on the bed. "It's ok."

There was silence as she slowly crossed the room to sit beside him.

"Honey," she put her hand on his arm and he flinched away. She pulled back thinking of how this felt like they had gone back in time, to when he first came to live with her. That distance that he had kept everyone at had returned.

"Rusty you—" she suddenly didn't know what to say anymore. "If you—is there anything I can get you or do for you?"

His face clearly said he didn't want to talk, but she had already started speaking, it was the best she could do at the moment.

"Sharon, I should be the one asking you that. You're the one—" he stopped and looked beside him at the balled up piece of paper. She had forgotten about it.

The memory of sitting in this room, crying into Andrea's shoulder resurfaced and she clenched her hands together to keep the emotion from bubbling back up.

"I wish you hadn't seen that. It wasn't really meant to be read," he said quietly.

She knew that, but to know what he had been thinking, to get a glimpse into his mind was enlightening.

"I know," she said mirroring his quietness. "If you want to talk about it or anything, you know I'm _here_ right?"

He nodded shakily.

"Whenever you want, I'm here."

It was his turn to say, "I know."

She hoped he really did though. She almost reached for his shoulder, but caught herself and stood up to leave instead.

"There is one thing," he said when she was almost to the door.

"Ok," she said tilting her head.

"They didn't—at the hospital today—they didn't change the bandage on my back. I can do the others, but I, uh, I can't reach that one."

She nodded because yes, she could do that. She would do anything to help him.

"I have the stuff in my bag," he got up to get it, "but uh, if you don't feel like it right now, it can wait."

"I feel fine," she lied. He gave her a disbelieving look, but didn't say anything to the contrary.

"We should probably do it in the bathroom," he said. She caught herself raising her eyebrows. "Sometimes it still bleeds." He shrugged stepping around her and out into the hall.

It was still bleeding three days later? She hadn't actually seen any of the wounds herself since their rescue, but Tom had described them. Apparently, he had sugarcoated some of it.

"Are you sure you want to do this Sharon? Maybe I can get someone else to help me, later."

"I'm sure." Because now she was feeling the need to see things with her own eyes.

Standing there waiting for him to pull up his shirt she could feel the vulnerability in the air, and it wasn't just coming from him, she was feeling a bit lost too.

"Ok, don't freak out," he said.

Too late, she already was. Last time he had used those words his face had been beaten bloody. He really needed to find another phrase.

* * *

Sharon really was trying to be good to him, and he knew that the uneasiness in the air was because of him, but he couldn't help it. It was complicated. On one hand he just wanted to be close to her, have her near him, but on the other hand he just wanted to curl up in a ball and be alone.

But being alone with Emily and Ricky here wasn't really an option, unless he waned to hide in his room. He knew Sharon would understand if he did, but she would also worry about him like she had been earlier. It wasn't like he didn't appreciate it, but it was just…complicated. There were just things he couldn't get out of his head. Things people wouldn't understand.

Sitting here at the table trying to have a _normal_ dinner was ridiculously hard. They were all giving him looks, Sharon was barely eating her food, and worst of all Ricky and Emily were trying to carry on conversations like nothing was wrong, like nothing had happened.

Sharon caught his eye, and he quickly looked away taking a bite to try to show her he was fine. It made him feel worse though. He really did wish she wouldn't look at him like that. It was bad enough that she had cried earlier because of him.

 _When he had pulled off his shirt, he saw the physical response she had to the sight. It was the reason he hadn't let her see it at the hospital. This time he didn't have a choice, he needed help whether he liked it or not._

 _She had wordlessly and tenderly fixed it all up. He had thanked her, grabbed the mess to throw away, and headed back to his room. When he reemerged the bathroom door was closed, but he could hear her crying over the water running in the sink. He turned and went back to his room until he heard her come out of the bathroom and her other kids get back from the store. He didn't know how to help because he just felt empty inside._

He realized they were starting to clear the table and quickly got up to help. He saw Sharon eyeing his barely touched meal, but she didn't say anything. He walked around the counter, Ricky was moving a knife to the sink and the flash off of it caught Rusty in the eye. He froze, almost dropping his plate. He could feel himself shaking and he was cold all of a sudden.

He heard Ricky's voice but it sounded far away, "You ok Rusty?"

Before he knew it, Sharon was pulling the plate out of his hands, setting it on the counter. He could feel the sweat running down his back. Everyone was looking at him, and he felt Sharon's hands on his shoulders. She was saying something, but he couldn't understand her. It was too much. He did the only thing he could think of. He ran out of the condo. Down the stairs. Out the front of the building.

His chest burned. His back hurt. He couldn't breathe. But he kept running.

* * *

She had seen the signs immediately, Rusty had tensed up and she saw the shaking of his shoulders. She had tried to calm him down, but it hadn't worked. The second he pulled away she reached for him, but it hurt, she was still very sore, and she couldn't hold onto him, he slipped away.

The door opened and slammed shut. Her stomach did cartwheels.

The words left her mouth before she had time to process them. "Ricky go after him."

Ricky dropped what he was holding and took off out the door. Emily just stood there looking confused.

"Grab the keys," she said to Emily and headed for the door.

They had picked Ricky up down the street, he hadn't been able to keep up. She couldn't believe Rusty had made it this far, and she knew that he had to be in pain.

There was terror building inside of her while she tried to think of where he would run to.

Why was this happening?

Her kids were yelling and asking what the hell was going on. She didn't have an answer; she just needed silence for a minute to think. It hit her. The park!

"Emily, turn left and park over there."

Her kids started to get out of the car with her, "Stay here."

Emily looked ready to protest, but a shake of Sharon's head and her daughter quieted.

She found him sitting on a swing at the edge of the park. He straightened when he heard her coming close to him. All she wanted to do was gather him up in her arms and hold him, just thankful that she had been able to find him. Again.

She carefully sat in the swing next to him, wishing she wouldn't have when the pain shot through her chest and stomach.

"Honey, talk to me," she said quietly.

He tilted his swing to look at her, searching her face, for what she wasn't sure, but she tried to maintain a calm façade.

"I can't help you if you don't talk to me Rusty."

God. Why couldn't he just let her in a little bit?

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I—I don't know."

She grabbed his hand, holding on tight. "Honey, it's not that anything is wrong with you. _We_ have been through a lot and there hasn't been enough time to process it. Everything is still moving so quickly."

She hoped that saying we instead of you, would help him understand that she was going through things too, and that she would understand if he tried to explain.

After a few minutes he said, "There was a knife, and I just couldn't breathe. It felt like everything was pushing in on me. I just had to get out of there, I am sorry I ran."

That was something she needed to know, if they could minimize triggers then that would help him.

"I understand."

There was no point in trying to lecture him about running out, but somewhere down the line they would have that talk. She couldn't chase him anymore; the emotions it evoked were overwhelming on their own without the added pressure of not knowing where he was.

"I guess I need to apologize to Emily and Ricky too, huh?"

"Rusty you don't have to apologize to anyone. What you have been through—" her voice was getting emotional and she cleared her throat, "it is something that few people are going to understand, but you will make it through all of this. I will be here to help you."

They shared a long look and even in the darkness she could see the tears in his eyes.

"Come one, let's go home," she said standing and not letting go of his hand.

Later with all her children in bed and sleeping, she crawled under her covers, praying that Rusty would be fine through the night. He had agreed to see Dr. Joe tomorrow, and that was a step in right direction. She just worried that she was so tired she wouldn't hear if he called for her tonight.


	11. Chapter 11

They had dropped her other kids off at the airport earlier in the morning and were now headed to Sharon's appointment. She had protested him driving her, but the doctors said she wasn't allowed to drive yet so that had been a plus for him. The winning argument was, "Who is going to take you? Flynn?" Apparently she thought that was as bad of an idea as he did.

Something had happened between those two, Sharon was completely ignoring Andy's calls, and Rusty didn't know what that was about. Honestly, he didn't want to know right now.

The waiting room was packed and he ended up standing beside Sharon's chair. He really just wanted to be there for Sharon like she had been there for him the past few days.

She had kept him close after he ran out of the condo that night, not letting him be alone for too long, and he had even seen her shadow outside his door one night. She was worried, really that was an understatement, but he figured she had good reason given everything that was going on. Dr. Joe had tried to help him work through some things, but Rusty knew it was going to take time. He hated that everything took time.

Today though, was about Sharon, and about him being there for her. She had told him that today they were going to get an official diagnosis and find out what the treatment plan would be. It scared the living hell out of him just thinking about it. She told him not to worry, but he didn't think that was even possible.

He shifted to put his weight on the other leg, and Sharon gave him a reassuring look before turning back to her magazine. How could she be so calm?

After another 15 minutes, the nurse called them to the back. He followed Sharon back and stood outside the door while they did an exam, but when they were done with it he joined her to hear what the doctor had to say. She grabbed his hand and didn't let go as the doctor spoke.

It was true. She had cancer. Stage IIB.

She needed something called a lumpectomy, followed by radiation and chemotherapy. After the doctor said that, Rusty hadn't been able to follow along because that sounded horrible and his mind had started going to horrifying places.

Sharon squeezed his hand, and he looked at her. She was looking at the doctor again though, and he was in awe of how she could just sit there and take it all in without freaking out. He heard the doctor say, "Sharon, there is a good chance that you will recover from this."

A good chance?

He needed her to be okay, the doctor had to make sure she was okay.

There was more talking and Sharon asked a few questions, but he hadn't been able to focus on any of them. There were too many thoughts running through his mind. He was brought back to reality by Sharon standing and releasing his hand to shake the doctor's. She led him out of the doctor's office with a hand on his shoulder, and he was grateful because he suddenly had no sense of direction.

* * *

Andrea had tried to call Sharon all day, but there had been no answer. It wasn't like Sharon to ignore her calls. Now, Andrea found herself standing outside Sharon's condo. She wanted to knock, but the last time she had done that she walked into an empty condo where Sharon had been taken. The thought still sent a shiver up her spine.

Andrea hadn't spoken to Sharon since she the day before she got out of the hospital, and she wasn't exactly sure why; that was the reason she had turned her car around halfway home. She took a breath and knocked. A few seconds later Sharon answered the door with a wineglass in her hand.

"Andrea!"

"Hope you don't mind me dropping by, I just wanted to check in."

More like, _you were ignoring me and I was worried._

Sharon gave her a knowing smile and stepped to the side. "Of course not, I'm glad you are here."

She couldn't decide if that was the truth, but she stepped inside anyway.

Rusty was lying on the living room floor staring at his chessboard. He spared her a "Hi" and a smile before turning back to the board. Sharon let out a small chuckle and waved her into the kitchen.

The kitchen. Did they really have to go in there?

The good news was the blood was gone and if she hadn't known what had happened there, she wouldn't have been able to tell at all.

"Do you want some wine—I have some red too—or I can make you tea if you prefer?"

"I'll just have what you are having," she said quietly, not really wanting to be any trouble.

Sharon poured her a glass, but when she handed it to Andrea they shared a long and searching look. Andrea looked away first, just like she always found herself doing.

"Let's go talk on the balcony," Sharon said picking up her glass again.

Andrea followed her out, noticing the worried glances being shot their way from Rusty. Sharon sat in the chair closest to the door where she could still see Rusty.

"How is he doing?" Andreas asked nodding her head toward Rusty.

She saw the hesitation on Sharon's face before she answered, "He's… struggling. But he's seeing Dr. Joe again, hence the studying of the chessboard."

Sharon tried to smile, but Andrea could see right through it. All she did was hum in response; something she had picked up from her friend, obviously.

"I don't think he sleeps much, and when I'm out of his sight for too long he panics. Today at the doctor he was acting like he was fine, but that was for my benefit I think… there's a lot to process between the two of us."

That was an understatement.

"Sharon," she laid her hand on Sharon's arm, "what did you find out today?"

She hadn't meant to bring it up so quickly, but she couldn't resist. She wanted to know what they were facing.

* * *

Sharon and Andrea had been out on the balcony for over an hour, and he was starting to get hungry. He kept looking for a time when they didn't look so serious so he could go see what they wanted, but it hadn't happened. A few times he had seen Sharon turn her head away and stare up into the sky; she only did that when she was fighting back tears.

That just made him feel worse because he had no idea how to help her. Staring at his stupid chessboard, trying to figure out how to beat Dr. Joe, sure as hell wasn't going to help her. Finally, he saw Sharon drink the last of her wine and neither woman was talking, so he figured now might be his chance. He got up and slid the door open. Both of them just looked at him expectantly.

"Uh—Do you want me to make dinner?" he questioned.

Sharon turned to Andrea, "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

"I can't tonight, I'm meeting someone, but rain check?" Andrea finished it with a smile. She had a date, he could tell from the tone in her voice.

"Next time then," Sharon said.

Well if it was just going to be the two of them, he could go get started. He headed to the kitchen leaving them to say goodbye or whatever. As he pulled open the fridge, Sharon's phone started ringing on the bar. He turned to look.

"Sharon, Andy's calling. Again."

He heard Andrea laugh and then say, "Good luck with that." The door closed behind her and he heard Sharon lock it.

It was just the two of them again, and he knew their talk was coming. Earlier in the car, after the doctor, he hadn't wanted to talk and Sharon had agreed to talk _later._ Which he figured meant dinner.

Her hand touching his shoulder startled him, but she didn't say anything about it. She was doing that more now, ignoring the fact that he was jumpy. Instead she asked, "What are we having?"

Suddenly, he wasn't feeling very hungry and nothing in the refrigerator gave him any ideas either. He shrugged, "What are you hungry for?"

* * *

"Flynn," Provenza said with an irritated tone, "Are you going to help, or just stare at your phone until we solve this case?"

He shot back an annoyed glance before filling the team in on the financial records of their suspect. Task complete, he picked up his phone again, debating whether he should try texting Sharon instead of calling.

They hadn't talked since she got out of the hospital. He hadn't wanted to intrude when her older kids were here, but they were gone now and she still wasn't answering.

That wasn't the whole truth though. He wanted to talk about what he had said when she was lying in that hospital bed. He had told her that he loved her. Sure the timing probably wasn't great, but he meant it all the same. He just really wanted to know what she thought one way or the other because right now he was feeling like an idiot.

He decided to text her. One message couldn't hurt.

* * *

He had cooked dinner while Sharon sat at the table filling out paperwork. He hadn't minded because it meant there was still time before they had to talk about the doctor. When it was ready she helped him set the table, and then there was nothing left to do but sit down and eat.

He felt himself tense up when she started to speak.

"Did you figure out how to beat Dr. Joe yet?"

What? He hadn't expected that.

He could feel the shock clearly written on his face. "Uh—No. Not yet."

Her only response was a small hum as she took another bite. He really hated the hums sometimes.

Her phone when off, and she glanced down into the chair beside her to read the screen. There was a look of annoyance that crossed her face.

Andy. Again.

"Did he do something wrong or something?" He questioned not knowing if he would get a response. Clearly it wasn't any of his business.

"Or something," she said quietly.

He took a bite contemplating pushing the point. He decided against it when she shot him a look clearly meant to discourage his questions.

Fine. They might as well get the other thing out-of-the-way then.

"Are you going to work while you—uh—while you get your treatments?"

She looked surprised that he brought it up on his own. "Yes, I still have another week off for this," she gestured to the place where she had been stabbed, "but yes, I plan to work."

Of course she did.

"But what about the side effects or symptoms or whatever?" he questioned.

She pushed her plate away. That wasn't a good sign.

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. But honey, don't worry about all of that. People react differently to treatment, and there is a possibility I will have very few side effects."

He had read enough on the Internet to know that more people than not suffered severe side effects.

"Honey, you just worry about starting school in a couple of weeks and working on making sure you are _ready_."

School? Really?

He needed to go back to work to make money in case something happened to her, and he was like back out on the streets again. He shook his head trying not to think that way. Sharon wasn't going to die. That was his biggest fear though, and sometimes it just snuck up on him.

He really needed to ask Dr. Joe how to make that stop.

"Rusty?" she looked worried and he tried to calm down.

"I'm fine. I think I should just go back to work and start school next semester or maybe even next year," he said quietly.

* * *

"Why?" she asked before she could stop herself. She knew exactly where this conversation was going, and she really didn't want to have it again.

She watched as Rusty shrank in on himself before he answered. "Cancer is like expensive and like—wait Sharon let me finish—and what if something…happens to you and— I'll need money to like live. I can't go back out _there_."

Oh.

He had new points this time, but they were worse than before.

Before he was worried that she was spending so much money on him, someone who shouldn't even be going to college. The fact that he still thought that bothered her more than she liked to admit. Now, he was worried about her dying, and him having to go back to his…previous life.

That would never happen. She wouldn't let it.

There were pains of sadness running through her just knowing that it had entered his mind.

"Rusty," she stared into his eyes, willing him to understand that what she was saying was 100% the truth, "you will never have to go back out _there_. If something were to happen to me, you would have a home here." She waved her hand around indicating the condo. "This would be your home. There would be some money to help you through for a while too. It's all laid out in writing. Gavin has the paperwork. I will always make sure you are taken care of and watched over by someone, so that if you needed help it would be there. Honey, you will never have to do what you did before ever again." Her voice was thick with emotion, but she had to say a few other things. "You _need_ to go to school. You need to get your degree and find a job that you will love. I will pay what your scholarships don't cover just like we discussed. Leave that to me, but Rusty I'm serious when I say I'm not going to let this cancer beat me."

She had always meant to tell him that he would be taken care of. Given her line of work, she probably should have told him sooner, but the reasons she had to tell him now broke her heart.

"But Sharon—"

"No." She shook her head, "No buts. I told you a long time ago that I would always do what was best for you, no matter what."

It took a minute but he spoke, looking down at his half-eaten plate. "Ok, mom."

A smile came to her lips. Maybe he really did understand.

As she stood to clear the table, he stood too. She pulled him into a tight hug. After a minute, she let go and he gave her a smile. They cleared the table and sat down in front of the TV to watch a movie together.

Somehow she had managed to make it through all of that without crying, but now she was exhausted. Exhaustion seemed to be her new theme in life. She hadn't recovered from the last trauma, and next week she was going to be subjecting it to a new one. She didn't see the exhaustion going away anytime soon.

* * *

 **Can't wait for you guys to see what happens in the next chapter! You might hate me though. No, nothing bad happens (or worse than what is going on now happens) to Sharon or Rusty. There are just some interesting developments :) Anyway, I promise not to leave you waiting too long.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Alright I am really late in posting this, sorry. Thank you to everyone following and reviewing this story. I know I haven't answered all of you but your thoughts really are appreciated! As always, enjoy!**

* * *

"Hey," Sharon said as he walked into the kitchen. "I didn't wake you did I?"

He rubbed his eyes, "No, I meant to get up earlier so I could make you breakfast."

He eyed the table and then the sink, but there were no dishes, just a teacup in her hands.

"I can make something quick before you have to leave," he said with a questioning tone.

"No thank you, I'm not hungry, but make yourself something."

He caught himself before he shot her a glare. Instead, he opened the fridge.

"Do you have plans today? It is the first day in a while you have the freedom of being away from me while I'm at work."

They had spent her recovery time together, and really they hadn't spent any time apart except for his appointments with Dr. Joe. It was suffocating in some ways, but then again it wasn't. He found himself trying to relish every minute he had with Sharon. There were a lot of motives behind it, but he wanted to remember everything about her and she made him feel safer somehow.

He knew he was safe now, with Stroh dead, but there were times when the panic still set in.

"Rusty?" Sharon asked standing from her chair.

He realized that he had just been staring into the refrigerator and he hadn't answered her question. "Uh, I'm not really sure." He pulled the eggs out and set them on the counter. "I'll probably just stay here until my appointment."

He could see the concern and uncertainty written all over her face. "Mom, look I'll be fine. You go catch bad guys and I'll watch zombie movies. _It will be just like old times."_

Her smile turned sad, "Alright, you call me if you need me."

"I will."

"I'm serious Rusty. If you need—"

"I'll call. I promise."

She hugged him before she left and he squeezed her tight. It's going to be a long day, his appointment with Dr. Joe wasn't until 2 and it was only 7:30.

* * *

After nearly 3 weeks away from the office and her team, she couldn't help but feel a little anxious as she rode the elevator up. Walking around the corner into the Murder Room was a relief; there had been a point, not so long ago, that she worried she might never return. The whole team was there and the second she stepped into the room she couldn't help but be surprised. There was a banner hanging that read "Welcome Back" and there were even balloons. Everyone even stood and clapped.

She tried to quiet them, but it was a lost cause. After the lack of cooperation she received when she had tried to do something for Julio's return, this was the last thing she had been expecting.

"Thank you, for all of this," she said when they all took their seats.

There was some banter amongst them before Chief Taylor's arrival killed the mood.

"Captain, welcome back," the Chief said.

"Thank you."

"Do you have a minute?" He nodded towards her office.

"Sure." Before she turned to follow him, she added to the team, "Thank you so much, really."

Closing the door behind her she asked, "What do you need Chief?"

"I got the approval the department psychiatrist sent over, clearing you."

That wasn't news, she had spoke to the psychiatrist last week. She knew she had been cleared.

"And?" she questioned.

"There are some concerns from the top that maybe it's too soon for you to be back."

"I assure you Chief, it's not." She had been off of work for 3 weeks, and that was longer than she had ever taken off of work for anything. No, she needed to be here.

"And you really think that with everything that happened and now with the new health concern this is where you should be? There are options you know. You can take a leave of absence. Just until you have a better grasp of what your treatment is going to mean and how you will be affected."

She wasn't sure if she should be flattered or offended. She was leaning more towards the latter.

"I prefer not to discuss my medical situation with you, but later if there is a need to reevaluate taking leave, I will be sure to bring it to your attention, _Chief_. Now, if you will excuse me, it looks like _my_ division is rolling out, and I would like to find out where to."

She had her hand on the door handle when he said, "When are you going to tell them?"

"Soon." With that she left him standing in her office.

* * *

They had decided to call it a day, and let the lab process everything that had been collected. They weren't getting anywhere else tonight without it. She gathered up her stuff and texted Rusty to say she was on her way. She hadn't heard from him today, and she hadn't called because she was trying to give him some space. As she was turning off the lights he texted back saying, "Ok."

She smiled. It was funny that even now, with the threat gone, she was still worried. The worry was different now though. She was no longer concerned with his physical safety, now she was worried about his emotional well being.

As she stood waiting for the elevator, she began to think about calling Ricky on her way home. She hadn't talked to him in a few days, and she wanted to check in.

"Hey Sharon," Andy said coming to stand beside her.

She smiled in response.

Yes, she knew she was horrible for avoiding him, but she wasn't sure what she wanted to say yet. It had taken a few days to even remember him being there, in the hospital, or what he had said. Before all of this, she had stood by the fact that they were not dating. She definitely had not expected him to say…what he had. She had to believe that it had just been an emotionally charged situation where no one knew if she would live or die and he had just blurted it out.

"Do you think we could go somewhere and talk for a minute?"

She looked around because he had moved closer, and she didn't want anyone seeing them like that. There were already questions about whether or not she was ready to come back to work, the last thing she needed were rumors of her and a coworker having a relationship.

"I already told Rusty I was headed home." She did her best to keep her face neutral.

Where was the damn elevator?

"It won't take long. The kid will understand." He almost sounded desperate.

"Fine, we can go to that coffee shop down the street. I'll meet you there."

* * *

He was in the kitchen making some soup when he heard a knock on the door. Sharon would be another 20 minutes at least, and she wouldn't have been knocking anyway. He slowly made his way to the door and looked through the peephole. It was Jack.

Shit, he thought. What was he doing here?

"I can hear you in there Sharon," Jack said.

That was a lie. Rusty knew he hadn't made any noise.

"Fine Sharon, I will just wait." Jack leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. "I can see your shadow under the door."

Shit.

* * *

She held her tea with both hands while Andy began to speak.

"Look Sharon, I don't know what's going, but you haven't said a word to me that wasn't work related in weeks. If this is about—"

She shook her head, and he stopped talking. "Andy, I know what you said and I know we should have talked sooner, but there are things that you don't know yet that we need to discuss too."

He was just staring at her blankly.

"I have cancer Andy."

"Sharon—"

"I don't want—It's not an excuse, but between find out a plan for that and helping Rusty through this rough patch, I haven't had the time or the energy to do this." She pointed between the two of them. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize Sharon. I'm…well I don't…"

"Andy, I appreciate your feelings and for telling me, but I can't go down that road right now. I care for you Andy, but I need time to get my life right side up. Rusty needs me, all of me that I can give him. This Stroh thing has sent him spiraling down a road that's not good." She took a second to breathe and study his face, but she didn't find any answers, just sadness. "Pope and Taylor already think I should take a leave of absence, and I am going to have to prove myself everyday on that front too, on top of treatment and Rusty. I can't do the romance thing too. I hope you can understand that."

There was silence between them, and she gave him time to process while she drank some of her tea.

"Sharon, I understand what you are saying, but I can be there for you. It doesn't have to be anything more than as a friend. I can't help my feelings, but I can respect yours. I can help you through this."

"I appreciate that, I really do, and one day I may take you up on your offer, but I just need some space right now. I just wanted to tell you before I told the rest of the team. You deserve that much."

She couldn't believe that she was actually doing this, but it was for the best, for everyone. It was true. She was exhausted and there were things she needed to devote her energy toward, love wasn't one of them.

"I'll give you space, if that is what you want, but Sharon I'm not going to go away. I love you and I don't see that changing any time soon."

"Andy—" her words caught in her throat.

Her phone started ringing in her pocket, and she looked at her watch as she pulled the phone out. Rusty. She looked at Andy in apology and he nodded.

"Rusty? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Are you almost here?" She could hear the alarm in his voice, and panic flowed through her.

"What's wrong?"

"Uh, well nothing really."

"Rusty. What is wrong?"

"It's Jack. He's in the hallway and apparently not leaving."

She shook her head. That was the last thing she need. Jack. Ugh.

"I'll be there soon. Don't let him in, and Rusty, call me if—well call me if he starts acting up."

She hung up. "I've got to go." She stood and put on her jacket. "Andy I'm sorry I can't be what you—"

He shook his head. "Go. Save the kid from _Jack_."

"I'll see you tomorrow." She headed out to her car to go handle another unpleasant situation.

* * *

He had called Sharon thinking that she was on her way, but it sounded like she wasn't in the car. It wasn't a big deal, he tried to tell himself, but the truth was that he really needed her to get home. Jack was really annoying just standing out in the hall calling her name. At one point, he had thought about just telling Jack that it was him, not Sharon, and that she was going to be late, but then Jack would've started talking to him through the door…and that would be worse.

He needed to talk to Sharon about his appointment, but he figured he might not get the chance because, well, Sharon would have to deal with Jack and she would probably be tired from work; actually she seemed tired all the time and adding work to that probably wasn't the best idea. He had tried to convince her not to go back so soon, but Sharon was Sharon and when she got something in her head that's just the way it had to be. He knew by now not to argue with her when she got like that. Her first treatment was tomorrow. She still hadn't told him if he could go with her, and that was really bothering him. Just something else they needed to discuss.

He was just checking his phone when he heard Jack's voice again. He almost groaned until he understood what was being said.

"Ah, Sharon, good of you to join us. I thought that was you inside. That was until about 30 minutes ago when I realized you would've had me kicked out of the building already."

"Jack, what are you doing here?" Sharon sounded tired and not the least bit interested in what Jack's answer might be.

"I heard about what happened. I just had to see for myself that you were ok." There was a brief pause and he could imagine the look Sharon was giving Jack. "And to check on the young lad of course."

Yeah, Jack wanted to make sure he was all right. Right.

"We are fine. I do not think that your concern warranted sitting outside my door for over an hour though. You could have picked up the phone Jack."

That was an understatement.

"So you could send me to voicemail. How are you doing Sharon, really? The kids won't tell me anything."

He heard Sharon getting her keys out, and he moved away from the door unsure of whether he should open it or not.

"I'm doing fine. Jack I think you should go. We will talk. Later."

There was a long silence, and he could picture the two of them staring each other down. He moved and unlocked the door, inching it open. Sharon put her hand on the door handle stopping it.

"Yeah sure Sharon, we'll talk later."

After what he figured was long enough for Jack to walk down the hallway Sharon opened the door, stepped in, and leaned against it to close it.

"Hey," she said quietly with her eyes closed.

"Hey," he said studying her face.

When she opened them again she said, "I'm sorry Rusty. You shouldn't have to keep dealing with him."

He just shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Are you ok?"

"It has just been a long day. What smells so good?"

"Soup."

"Let me get changed, and I'll be right there."

He nodded and headed off to the kitchen to set the table and get everything ready. The thing with Jack hadn't taken forever like he had expected. For some reason he had thought she would invite him in and then it would take forever to get him to leave. Jack was like that; he overstayed his welcome. Now, he was glad he hadn't opened the door and let him in.

"This looks delicious," Sharon said sitting down beside him.

"Uh, yeah." He took a bite. "Catch any bad guys today?"

"No. Maybe tomorrow," she smiled at him. "How were the zombies?"

"I didn't uh, I actually didn't watch the movies today."

"Oh?" There was that tone, the one that said I'm not questioning you, but you better tell me. At least that's what it sounded like sometimes.

"I tried to go to the chess park, but I never got out of the car. It, well uh, it felt weird."

He didn't even know why he was telling her this.

"How so?" she questioned.

"Well Dr. Joe told me that what I was feeling was perfectly ok, that everyone processes differently and feels different things, but…listen it's going to sound weird so just let me say it all before you say something ok?" She just nodded her head and waited. "I was watching those people playing chess and it felt so strange. Before everything happened I was like them, even when Stroh was running free, I was carefree and could do things like play chess. Yes, I kept a look out, but I didn't worry about it, I just kept doing what I wanted to do. Now though, when I'm free from Stroh and worrying about the trial, I feel anxious and trapped. It doesn't make any sense; it's like now I'm watching over my shoulder every second of the day thinking something will happen again. Afraid that if I go sit at that table and play chess, someone will see me, watch me, and then I will be their target or something." He started shaking his head. "It doesn't make sense, right?"

* * *

She wasn't exactly sure what he was wanting from her here, in this moment. He had talked to Dr. Joe, and that was a good sign. And she really was glad that he was talking to her about what he was feeling, but to know his thoughts about this alarmed her. She hated knowing what Stroh had done to him, and she hated to think that he was struggling with such things. The things he had to live through made her blood boil some days, but seeing how he was now just made her wish she could take it all away and offer him the life he deserved. She tried everyday to give him what he needed, and now she wasn't sure she had the answers he wanted and needed.

"Rusty, you are safe. Honey, I want you to feel safe, and Dr. Joe is right when he says everyone goes through different things. But a very big step in understanding those things is talking about them, even when they don't make sense." He searched her face for some semblance that her words were headed in the right direction; she decided they weren't really. "You are safe though." He looked at her with tired eyes, and she knew that everything was still weighing on him very heavily. "When do you see Dr. Joe again?"

"Next week. I was going to go again Wednesday, but I…" he trailed off and she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Rusty, I will be fine. My treatment is tomorrow, and I am working tomorrow. And Wednesday. And the rest of the week."

"But Sharon look everything that I have read says the night and day after chemo are the worst! What if you get really sick and I'm like gone to see Dr. Joe?" His face was so serious, and she wondered why she even wasted her breath telling him the other thousand times that she was not his responsibility.

"Your job is not to take care of me. That's my job, and my job is also to take care of you. Call Dr. Joe tomorrow and see if you can still get that appointment." He started to protest, but she raised her hand and he stopped. "No, you aren't going with me either. I'm going on my lunch, and you are going to enjoy the rest of your summer."

"Fine."

Fine. He was giving up that easily?

"Good," she said suspiciously, having a feeling that this was far from over.

* * *

 **So before you bust out the pitchforks about Sharon and Andy, let me just remind you that everyone is entitled to write what they want…oh yeah, and the story isn't over.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/n: This would have been up earlier today, but when I tried to upload it the site told me there was an error with the filetype. So I didn't have time to try again until now. Anyway I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"What is wrong with you?" Provenza asked Flynn as they walked in the Murder Room. Flynn looked around noticing that no one else was there yet, and then turned back to glare at his partner. "Seriously Flynn what's the deal?"

"You will find out when Shar—the Captain gets here." Andy turned to face his computer, clearly showing he didn't want to talk about it.

Provenza decided that his idiot partner had finally gone and done something stupid like _profess his love,_ but he didn't know why it would matter for when the Captain got there. She was a private person, and he highly doubted she was going to walk in and announce it to the team.

"What!? Why do I have to wait? If you know then spit it out Flynn." Andy turned to face him. "It's not my place to tell you. So drop it."

Flynn was lucky Tao and Sanchez walked in because he had been about ready to smack Flynn over the head with his newspaper. That's when he noticed it. The light was peeking from behind the closed blinds of the Captain's office.

She was already there; it was rare anyone got to work before him, but for _her_ to already be there was...odd. How did they not notice that?

"Flynn." Provenza started pointing in the direction of her office.

"I said drop—oh."

They shared a look until Julio said, "Drop what?"

"Nothing," they said together.

What the hell was going on?

* * *

He caught her at noon, waiting for the elevator, no doubt headed to the doctor. He could tell by the look on her face before she spotted him that everything was getting to her more than she was letting on. He guessed that was how it always was with her; no one could ever really know what she was dealing with just by talking to her.

"Lieutenant," she said as he walked towards her.

"Uh—listen Sharon, you know Patrice was a nurse and I'm sure she wouldn't mind keeping you company at your appointments. You know, if you wanted someone to go."

He knew that the team had to be working, and she wouldn't involve a subordinate anyway. He had thought about suggesting Rusty, but he figured if the kid wasn't here already to go with her she had shut that down already. That left his only other option. Patrice. He figured she would decline that offer as well.

"That's nice of you to offer Lieutenant, but I will be fine." The elevator arrived and she stepped on. "I do appreciate it. Keep an eye on the team. I'll see you in a little bit."

Well he had tried. Now tonight when he talked to Patrice about it she couldn't get upset at him for not trying to do something. If all the Captain wanted him to do was his job, that's what he would do.

* * *

She was already in the back and hooked up to everything when he arrived. It was just how he planned it. This way she couldn't argue about him going with her. He had even gotten a ride here that way he could drive back, pretend he wanted to talk to Buzz and he could make sure she was alright the rest of the day. It wasn't even about it being a surprise; mainly he just didn't want to argue with her about it anymore.

She was sitting in the chair, eyes closed, and headphones in. He wondered what she was listening to as he sat down. For a minute he thought she was sleeping, until he shifted in his seat and her eyes popped open. She pulled the headphones out.

"Rusty," she said quietly, and he figured she was going to gripe at him, but she didn't. "I knew you would show up after the lack of protesting last night."

"You did not," he quipped, smiling at her.

She smiled back. "I told them this morning."

He was confused about the sudden change of subject for a second. Then he understood. She was talking about the team. "How did that go?"

Her look told him what she wasn't able to. She was sad, and probably they all told her they were sorry or gave her sympathy looks. All the things she hadn't wanted from them or anyone. She closed her eyes probably hoping he hadn't seen the tears forming there. That was ok they didn't have to talk about it.

He reached down and pulled a book from his bag, leaned back and started to read from the beginning. She laid her head back smiling and listening as he read.

He had found an article on the Internet that said reading to someone while they got their treatment was a good distraction, and it could help ease the awkwardness of feeling like you should keep the conversation going. Apparently it had been a good idea because she seemed to be enjoying it.

* * *

Sharon was standing in the middle of the Murder Room discussing the case with her team when it began to hit her. At first, she just felt nauseous. Then, she started to get a little shaky and dizzy. She wrapped up the conversation and excused herself heading for the ladies room. She had almost made it when she stumbled reaching for the wall only to be caught by steady arms.

She was too dizzy to look up, but she heard Rusty's voice. "You're almost there. Just a few more steps."

She had no idea where he had come from, but she was grateful all the same. Rusty managed to help her into the bathroom just in time.

Sharon sat on the floor willing herself to get it together. She heard Rusty outside the door telling someone the bathroom was full and to come back later. It made her smile, and thankful he had listened when she waved him out of the restroom and back into the hall.

She had spent days convincing herself that she could handle work, cancer, and being a mom all alone, but sitting on the cold floor she decided that she might have made that decision prematurely. Possibly she was going to have to swallow her pride and let in a little bit of help. She decided that it was probably a good thing she was deciding this so early on instead of fighting it tooth and nail; that would just be wasting energy.

"Mom?" Rusty questioned knocking on the door.

 _Mom._ Hearing that word from him still made her heart skip a beat. He was still alternating it with Sharon, but the fact that he used it at all in reference to her meant the world to her.

"One second." She stood to wash her face and hands before joining him in the hallway.

"I think that we should go home. I mean it's already seven, and like from the sound of it you guys know who your bad guy is."

"I can't leave yet, and I feel fine now," she said moving towards the break room. She needed something to get the taste out of her mouth. She didn't feel fine at all, but she needed to finish the day out. This was only her second day back and Chief Taylor was looking over her shoulder every chance he got. "Why don't you take the car home, and I will get a ride when we are done."

"I'm good. I used to hang out here all the time."

She shot him look as she plugged in the kettle to boil. "You didn't stay here because you wanted to, but because I made you."

* * *

She had a point. It's not like he really enjoyed being here, but it wasn't so bad.

"I'll just—"

There was a knock on the door to the break room as it was pushed open. "Sorry to interrupt Captain, but I think we've got him," Tao said.

"Thank you Lieutenant, I will be right there."

"Rusty, Buzz finally found what you were looking for," Tao closed the door behind him as he said it.

Sharon raised an eyebrow at him. "What were you looking for?"

"It's nothing just a—it's nothing," he said shaking his head.

"Well if it's nothing then you better go talk to Buzz about nothing." They shared a smile. He pulled the door open shooting her a concerned look, wondering if he should leave her alone. She had been pretty dizzy earlier, but she looked steadier now. She waved him off with a flick of the wrist before pouring the water into her cup.

"Well, if you are _fine_ then it is _nothing_."

* * *

It was after 11 when they finally made it home. Sharon had wanted to stay until they had made the arrest, even though the plan was to let the guy sit in jail overnight before they made the deal. She was just being Sharon, making sure every detail was taken care of. He was starving though. He hadn't wanted to bring up food after Sharon had gotten sick earlier, but now that he was home he needed to eat.

Sharon had come in and gone straight to her room. She hadn't said good night so he thought maybe she was just going to change clothes first. He opened the fridge and pulled out the left over pasta.

He finished eating and cleaned up his mess. Sharon still hadn't come out of her room. He made sure the door was locked and flipped out all of the lights. He hesitated outside her door, but when he noticed the light was off and there was just silence he headed to his room. He was about to get into bed when he heard her in the bathroom again.

He rushed over and inched the door to the bathroom open, making sure she was out of the way before opening it all the way. She looked ghostly pale and she was crouched down beside the toilet. He grabbed a washcloth and moistened it with cold water and handed it to her as he flushed the toilet. This is exactly what he had been worried about. He didn't say anything for several minutes just waiting to see if she would feel better like she did last time, but she didn't, she got sick several more times.

He felt helpless. All he could do was make sure her hair stayed out of the way. She had tried to speak to him at one point, but she hadn't been able to get the words out before she got sick again. It was the worst feeling in the world to not be able to help her somehow.

"R-Rusty go to bed."

Right. Like that was going to happen. There was no way in hell he could sleep knowing she was in here sick.

He sat down on the tub behind her and rubbed her back until she was calm. "Can you stand?" he asked.

She nodded slightly, "I think so." He helped her up and into her bed. He asked if she needed anything, but she just shook her head. As he turned to go she grabbed his hand, her eyes were still closed when she spoke. "I love you."

"I love you too. If you need anything just tell me ok?" She just squeezed his hand in response.

As he crawled into bed he wasn't sure what to think. It's not like he had a lot of experience to help Sharon, and if anything he was shocked that she was letting him help at all. But maybe he should ask Dr. Joe if he was doing this right? Like if there was something he should be doing or not doing. The Internet was only so helpful. He needed a real opinion.

* * *

He woke up to Sharon stroking his head and whispering something. He wasn't even sure what was going on but he could feel his eyes were wet and the pillow beneath him was wet. Had he been crying in his sleep?

"It's ok honey. Wake up." Sharon whispered again.

He pushed himself up on his elbows and wiped his eyes. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure." She pulled her hand back into her lap. "I was trying to go make some tea, but your door was open. I—well you never sleep with your door open, so I came to check on you. You were crying, and I wasn't sure—I was concerned."

Well now he was _concerned_ because he had no idea why he would cry in his sleep.

"I left the door open so I would hear if you got sick again," he said sheepishly. "You said you were going to make tea, so do you feel better now?"

"Oh Rusty, you don't have to get up with me. In fact I would prefer you not to have to see me like that." She brushed the hair out of his eyes before continuing. "I feel well enough to maybe drink something yes, but you should go back to sleep."

"I'll make it for you." He jumped out of bed on the opposite side of where she was sitting before she could protest.

It was going to be a long couple of months if tonight was any indication.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/n: This one just came out of my want/need to see more Sharon and Andrea, but the next chapter is less Sharon focused and more about…well everything else. As always enjoy!**

* * *

There had only been a few times in her life she had woken up next to someone other than Jack. As she stretched and rolled onto her side, she couldn't help but giggle at the way Andrea was sprawled out with an arm hanging off the side of the bed and her legs just tangled in the covers. The poor woman had come over to "keep her company" and instead managed to throw an almost pity party about breaking up with her girlfriend that entailed quite a bit of wine and deleting pictures from her phone. Sharon had found it all quite comical and she had been grateful for the distraction.

In truth, she figured Rusty had asked Andrea to come over. He was gone on some journalism adventure with the college. It had taken Sharon a week to convince him she would be fine for two days on her own. Reluctantly he had gone, but from what she gathered from his pictures and texts, he was having a good time. She was glad because he finally seemed to be moving past what had happened a couple of months ago. He was able to sleep more easily now; he had even gone and played chess last week finally. It filled her heart with joy to see him settling back into life.

Andrea twitched beside her, drawing Sharon out of her thoughts. She slid out of bed trying to not disturb the younger woman. It made her laugh, as she walked to the kitchen to make coffee, just thinking about how Andrea wound up in her bed.

 _Andrea had clearly been drunk, and Sharon decided that it was time to reel her in. She disposed of the wine bottles, grabbing Andrea's glass from her in the process. Andrea had said something about not being finished to which Sharon replied, "Oh you are." That had only elicited laughter._

" _I'm not a suspect you know," Andrea said still giggling away. Sharon realized how much she had missed laughter lately. They had proceeded to her room to find something for Andrea to sleep in, and then Andrea decided she had to have a shower to wash Kim, her ex, off of her. All Sharon did was shake her head as Andrea disappeared into the bathroom._

 _It had been 30 minutes and Andrea still hadn't emerged. Sharon could barely keep her eyes open and fell asleep. Sometime later, she felt the bed move beside her, realizing what Andrea was doing and rolled over._

" _Sorry didn't mean to wake you. But scoot over I'm not going to have a backache from the couch as well as a hangover." She complied with no energy to dispute the point._

It wasn't exactly the way she had shared the bed with someone in the past, but she couldn't say she had been uncomfortable. It had been a fun night even if Andrea was going to hate herself when she got up feeling horrible.

As she heard Andrea trudging toward the kitchen she pulled her robe together and pulled two mugs from the cabinet.

"Good morning," she said to Andrea.

"Yeah. Morning." Andrea replied sitting down at the table.

That made Sharon chuckle. Her friend obviously wasn't feeling as well as she had last night. Sharon poured the coffee and joined Andrea at the table. After a few minutes of drinking in silence Andrea said with a smile, "You have a comfortable bed."

Sharon just hummed in agreement.

There was more silence until Andrea got up to pour a second cup and Sharon mentioned having to get ready.

"About that. Rusty's call is what woke me up. He won't be back in time to go with you." Sharon turned to look into the other woman's eyes. Andrea cleared her throat before continuing, "Why don't I go with you?"

"I'm sure you have better things to do on a Saturday."

"What's better than hanging with my best friend?" Andrea asked with a grin, but Sharon didn't look the least bit convinced. "Look Sharon, I know it's hard for you to accept help, but I'm not offering help. I'm offering the chance of some comedy and companionship."

"Well, who could pass up an offer like that?"

* * *

This had been Sharon's ninth treatment. It wasn't like Andrea was counting, but it was impossible for her not to keep track. Sharon's body was starting to show the telltale signs. She had lost a considerable amount of weight, her bright green eyes had lost their shine, and the woman was constantly fighting fatigue.

When they had wrapped the case yesterday, just in time for the weekend, Andrea had taken the time to really observe Sharon at work. If you didn't know the Captain, you might just think that she had a cold or the flu; that's how well Sharon carried herself. The problem was Andrea knew Sharon.

The thing that bothered her most yesterday was seeing the way Sharon was constantly touching something, as though she had to ground herself or she would fall over. It was disheartening to see her struggle silently and alone. Andrea knew that last night—her showing up unannounced because of her breakup—was selfish. She had needed something and turned to the one person she knew would give it to her.

Today had been a whole different ballgame. Andrea was witnessing the after effects of chemo first hand instead of just being a bystander observing as a distant third party.

She had managed to keep Sharon in decent spirits through her treatment, but now that they were back at the condo she had no idea what to do. Sharon was on the couch and had clearly told Andrea to go home, but that wasn't happening until Rusty got home. He had texted and said he was half an hour away.

Andrea had disappeared into the kitchen earlier to make tea for lack of anything better to do. Sharon's uncontrollable cough brought her out of the kitchen with a glass of water. Finally, when the coughing had subsided Sharon spoke in a low raspy voice. "There is something I've never discussed with you, but I need to now…considering."

Wait. Wait. The last thing she was prepared for was an emotionally charged conversation. She tried to stall, "Sharon, why don't we wait until your—"

"It—can't—wait." She said through more coughing.

Andrea sat down on the coffee table to be more on her level. "Ok then. Let's talk."

"I have to know," there were tears in Sharon's eyes, "he will have someone to turn to other than Provenza or Buzz when things get tough. Someone smart. Someone who is in LA. Someone tough." The coughing broke out again. "That's you."

"Of course." It was the only thing she could think of. Then as an after thought she added, "But you aren't going to die."

Sharon shot her a look and then sat up abruptly, heading for the bathroom. Andrea tied back Sharon's hair and got her a cold rag. All the while she couldn't help but think about what Sharon had said earlier.

"Mom?" She heard Rusty shutting the door.

Thank God.

"In here Rusty," Andrea called.

Sharon tried to sit up, but before she could he was there helping her. It was amazing to see those two and how far they had come. They were good for each other.

Rusty got Sharon into bed and then walked Andrea to the door. "Thanks for staying Andrea."

"It was no problem. You know I would do anything for the _both_ of you."

He just nodded in response.

"Look, this can be a lot for someone to handle. If you need a break or just time to yourself, let me know. Ok?"

He started shifting from foot to foot, looking a little uncomfortable. "I will," he finally said.

"Good." As she was going through the door she heard Sharon in the bathroom again and Rusty headed off down the hall.

Yes. She would look after Rusty, but Sharon wasn't allowed to die.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/n: So I for some reason had the urge to write about a case, and that is where this chapter comes in. It's more of a break from the story without losing the story if that makes any kind of sense lol. To my guest reviewer thank you so much and about the conversation they had, well it could go either way really :) Ok everybody enjoy!**

* * *

"Yes Flynn there a 1,000 reasons for someone to murder another person, but we are looking for why someone would murder a teenage kid!"

"Sir, he's 16," Julio said hanging up the phone, "DCFS said the kid's name is Robson 'Robby' Bech with an H." Everyone involuntarily shot a look at the Captain's office.

"Uh—Did they give you anything else?" Amy questioned after a second.

"They are sending the file, but she said he came into the system at age 6, bounced around, ran off but always came back. He was a good kid."

"Good. We have a place to start. Sykes, Sanchez go visit the latest foster family. Take Buzz with you just in case. Flynn, Tao go to the morgue, find out what Morales has to say."

"What are you going to do?" Flynn asked, standing to put on his jacket.

"I'll fill in the Captain on the way to _our_ meeting with Taylor."

"Have you figured out what that is about?" Tao asked.

Provenza was already raising his hand to knock on the Captain's door when he answered. "I've got some ideas…"

* * *

They were walking into the morgue when Flynn stopped dead in his tracks looking at his phone.

"What?" Tao questioned.

"Um—give me a second Mike."

Andy turned and walked back outside. "Ricky?" he asked answering the phone.

"Hey Andy, sorry to bother you, but are you around my mom?"

Ricky's voice sounded a little off causing Andy to become slightly concerned. "No. Is something wrong?"

"Yeah—no everything's fine. How's she doing? Like _really_ doing."

"She's good Ricky. Your mom is tough. But look if nothing is an emergency can I call you back, I've got an—"

"Yeah, yeah sorry. I don't mean to keep you, she just sounded sad earlier."

Sad?

Well if Sharon would talk to him, then he would know she was sad too. Problem was if it wasn't work related she was avoiding him like the plague.

"I'm sure it's just this case we are working, but I'll check on her."

"Thanks," Ricky said hanging up the phone.

It would have to wait though because Tao and Morales were waiting.

* * *

There were few things in the world he hated more than a dead kid, but one of those things just happened to be foster parents—a very loose term in this case—who hated kids. As they reviewed the footage from Sykes and Sanchez's search it made him sick. There was blood on the wall and bloody footprints, that showed someone had ran out of the house, probably injured. It wasn't enough blood to suggest someone would die from the injuries, but it was enough to be concerned.

"Where are the assholes who were supposed to be taking care of the kid?" Provenza questioned.

"Interviews one and two. We kept them separated," Sykes replied.

"Sir, they were trying to clean up, but they hadn't gotten to the car yet," Sanchez said.

"Mike, you and Sanchez go speed things along with SID. Maybe we can wrap this up today after all." He waited for them to leave before continuing. "Flynn, go fill in the Captain and see how she wants to do the interviews."

"I'm not—"

"Ye Gods Flynn, it's about work, just go."

Provenza didn't miss the smirk Buzz had on his face at the comment. Those two really needed to pull it together and quick.

* * *

"Mom, are you sure you don't want me to come out there?"

"Your show is going on Em. I know you can't, but I'm fine, there really is no point."

Sharon closed her eyes willing the dizziness to go away before she had to face the team again. It was bad enough that she felt so fatigued she could hardly stand for 10 minutes, but dizziness mixed in was not a good combination.

"But your next appointment is when you find out if it's working. I should be there," Emily whined. Sharon guessed her children would never be too old to whine to her.

"No, you should be where you are. Dancing." There was a knock on her door. "Emily I've got to go. I'll talk to you soon."

Another knock.

"Fine. Love you Mom."

"Love you too." She hung up quickly saying, "Come in."

"Lieutenant, what did the search turn up?"

Perhaps that sounded a little too professional. She really wasn't trying to push Andy away, he was a good friend, but everything just seemed to be so tense now between them. She wasn't sure how to fix it yet.

"Sykes and Sanchez found blood, SID is still processing, but it looks like the parents probably did it. We just don't have a motive yet."

Involuntarily she shook her head at what she was hearing, instantly regretting it. Her dizziness turned to double vision. "What do we know about them?" she asked suddenly feeling nauseous.

"Sykes and Buzz are running their backgrounds now…Shar-Captain, are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I want to see the footage Buzz got from the house before we interview them."

She was so not fine though.

"There's really not much to it," he replied obviously trying to protect her. She knew they were all concerned about the similarities between Robby and Rusty. She was just doing her best not to think about it at the moment.

"Still, I want to see it. I'll be there shortly Lieutenant."

"Sure."

He left not a second too soon because the instant the door closed she rolled to her trashcan, managing to vomit into it.

God. Why was she doing this to herself?

She sat there praying the rest of the nausea would go away. And after a several more minutes she decided she needed to pull it together. She popped a couple of breath mints and reapplied her lipstick on the off chance it would help her appearance, and then headed out watch the video.

As she was finishing the video Sanchez returned from the garage.

"Ma'am, if the Navarro's did kill Robby, they didn't use the car to move him. There were no blood or fibers and the car definitely hasn't been cleaned."

"Thank you Julio."

Provenza hit the desk, and she gave him a look. He looked unapologetic though.

"Ok, Lieutenant Provenza you're with me. Let's see what Mrs. Navarro has to say."

* * *

"Why am I here?" Hobbs asked as she entered the Murder Room.

"A kid was killed," Provenza said nonchalantly, looking over his crossword at her.

"And from what I understand you don't have the killer, just abusive foster parents," she retorted.

"It's a work in progress," Flynn stated, glaring at Andrea.

She wasn't sure what the look was about and decided to shrug it off for now. Instead she headed for Sharon's office. The team didn't seem to be in a helpful mood.

She knocked and opened the door to an interesting sight. Sharon was lying on the ground behind her desk with wet paper towels on her head.

This woman. Andrea could only shake her head at the sight.

"Yes?" Sharon asked not even looking up.

"God Sharon go home!" She hadn't really meant for it to come out as harsh as it had but the sentiment was the same.

"Can't."

Ok, the one-word answers were not typical and kind of worrisome.

She knew the answer but asked anyway, "Why?"

"You've read the report I sent." She pulled the towels off her face, and Andrea could finally see Sharon's eyes. She looked like crap, and up until this point Andrea had thought that was impossible.

"I have. Which is all the more reason for you to GO HOME!"

All Sharon did was stare from the ground. They weren't getting anywhere.

"Have you at least eaten?"

"Rusty made me breakfast." That was at least 8 hours ago. "I'm not hungry though."

Of course she wasn't.

"Look, I will take care of the foster parents. They confessed to the abuse, shouldn't be too hard to deal on. You go home and rest! You need rest! Your team can call if they get anything."

Sharon started shaking her head halfway through Andrea's spill and Andrea couldn't help but think to herself, _Stubborn. Stubborn. Stubborn._

There was a knock on the door, and Andrea was surprised when the door didn't open.

"Just a second," Sharon called out. "Help me up, it's Andy. He won't come in until I tell him to. It's his new thing." Sharon rolled her eyes as Andrea pulled her up.

"Come in," she said at last.

"The Navarro's lawyer is here and he wants to make a deal."

"Great. I might just get to go home tonight after all," Hobbs said more to Sharon than Andy.

Andy closed the door apparently not wanting to be part of any further communication, and Sharon sank down in her chair.

"You really did a number on him," Andrea said pointing towards the now closed door. "You can't see straight can you?"

"It's obvious?"

"You keep staring just to the left of me."

Sharon sunk her head down on her arms sighing in the process.

"Call Rusty and go home. I'm serious Sharon."

Andrea didn't even give her a chance to argue, she just walked out and texted Rusty on the way to the interview room; just in case Sharon was going to be stupid and try to stay here.

* * *

"Alright listen up," Provenza said staring at the white board. They needed a new direction, and he was determined to find it. "Let's call them guardians because they suck at being parents. The _guardians_ don't know his friends. His cell wasn't anywhere near where his body was found and it is now turned off. We have a name and a high school though. In the morning, Sykes and Flynn find out who his friends are. The Navarro's have a legitimate son, someone track him down. I find it odd he isn't wondering where his family is." He turned to look at the team. "What am I missing?"

"The murder weapon?" Tao suggested.

"We don't have one. Missing knife doesn't help," Flynn said.

"Girlfriend or boyfriend?" Sykes tried.

"Go home," came from a voice he hadn't been expecting, the Captain. "We will start again in the morning."

The Captain had been hiding out in her office all day. It was strange that she wasn't all over this case given the facts.

"But Captain—"

"We have nothing until the lab finishes processing everything and the schools open." She stopped, bracing herself on the wall, "Someone please lower the screen."

About 10 seconds after Buzz hit the button Rusty came walking in. It was beginning to make sense. She couldn't stay—because she was sick—and she didn't want them to stay either.

"Good night," she said looking around the room.

They bid her a good night and then everyone started packing up, getting ready to go. At least this time she realized she shouldn't be here, or someone had realized for her…either way he had the night off, and who could complain about that. Robby Bech would still be here in the morning.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/n: Sorry for the late posting of this chapter, but for some reason I just kept rewriting parts of it and eventually had to tell myself to STOP! :) Enjoy!**

* * *

"Mom!" He yelled from his room to the living room, jumping out of the bed at the same time. She still hadn't moved when he got to the living room despite her phone blaring right beside her. He took a look to decide if he should wake her up or not. Lieutenant Provenza. He had called three times before Rusty yelled for her. So yes, he should wake her up. "Mom," he shook her shoulder gently saying it again until she started to stir. "Your phone keeps ringing. It's Lieutenant Provenza."

She sat up, probably a little too quickly from the looks of it, and took the phone from him. He saw that she tried to give him a smile, but it fell terribly flat. Today was a bad day. Yesterday was a bad day too, so much so that Andrea had told him to come get Sharon. The last few months had been riddled with bad days, and he wondered how many more she could handle. Sharon was already thin and weak, she wasn't eating hardly anything, and she was coughing more than ever.

"Earth to Rusty," Sharon said waving her hand in front of him.

"Sorry, what?"

This time her smile was real when she asked, "Something on your mind?"

"No." He was lying and they both knew it.

Luckily her phone started ringing and he headed for the kitchen.

"This isn't over," she called over her shoulder.

Nothing was ever over with Sharon.

"Captain Raydor," she answered and he opened the fridge.

He sat at the table, drinking a Coke, while he waited for Sharon to get off the phone. He had thought about going to his room, but she would only let that fly for so long before she came in there wanting answers.

Sharon stood up, looked at him, and then headed down the hall saying, "One minute Lieutenant."

That was the other thing bothering him, Sharon was being secretive about the case they were working on. She had never hid the details from him before. He had seen tons of horrible cases while being there after school, and it wasn't like he was an innocent little kid that needed to be protected. On second thought, the case was probably about a kid or something; she always acted different when it was about a kid. This was just a more intense reaction than he was used to.

"So," she rounded the corner and he knew he was caught…again. "Rusty, are you ok?"

"I'm fine—" he stopped because he realized she'd put back on her jacket and her shoes while she had been in her room. "You're leaving?"

"We finally caught a break. I need to be there."

She didn't need to be there, she wanted to be there.

"You don't _need_ to go Sharon." He stood up a little more abruptly than he intended, realizing he was angry all of a sudden. Even though he knew he didn't really have a reason to be.

"Rusty, what is going on?"

"I don't know Sharon. That's the problem!"

She looked a little stunned, and then her phone went off again.

"Just go Sharon," he said quietly and walked off to his room.

Why was he being such and asshole? She was dying and he was being a jerk. She didn't need to be going to work! She needed to stay home, rest and get better.

* * *

Her drive to the office was excruciatingly long. She should've gone after Rusty. This wasn't like an outburst from the past. He didn't yell. He didn't pace. He didn't tug at his shirt or pick at anything. He was mostly calm minus his voice being slightly raised. That was the part she didn't understand. This was new and she wasn't sure how to handle it.

The elevator doors opened and she took a deep breath to clear her mind. As she entered the Murder Room she was surprised to find guns drawn and Sykes with her foot on a suspect's back. Tao was holding his arm as it was bleeding through his shirt.

Once her team had started putting away their weapons and she was sure the situation was under control she asked, "What is going on?"

"This dirtbag had a knife!" Andy started yelling. "I'm gonna kill the idiot patrol officer who said they searched him!"

She turned her attention for a moment, realizing that Tao was still bleeding. "Lieutenant Tao are you alright?"

"I'm going to need stitches and depending on what is on that knife I will probably need a tetanus shot. Also—"

"We get it Tao! I already called and the paramedics are on their way," Provenza said.

Julio helped Sykes pull the man up as he struggled against them. The man was shouting all sorts of things until he "tripped" over a chair and into a desk. If she hadn't thought he probably deserved it she would've reprimanded Julio.

"Lieutenant Flynn, can you please find that patrol officer and inform them I would like to _speak_ with them?"

"Sure thing Captain," he smirked. She knew he would enjoy that.

The paramedics arrived and started working on Tao. That was good because she definitely didn't need one of her Lieutenants bleeding out. Once they had carted him off to the hospital, with Buzz in tow—to drive him back—she turned to Lieutenant Provenza to get the all of the details.

* * *

Six hours later they had the confession, the murder weapon, and the murderers. The knife wielding man from the Murder Room, Greg Tinsley, had flipped on his _business partner_. Robby had seen them kill a rival drug dealer, therefore becoming a witness and a liability.

The two men had been out looking for Robby, and when Robby ran from his foster parent's abuse he ran into his killers.

No matter where Robby ran in that situation he hadn't been safe. There was no one he felt like he could turn to.

She sighed as she climbed into her car. Cases like this took their toll on everyone, but it hurt her heart to think about how close Rusty had come to being in a grave because of what he had seen.

It was 2:45 AM when she walked through the door. Usually walking into her condo lifted a weight off her shoulders, but not tonight. What Rusty had said earlier was still on her mind. Maybe tomorrow after they found out if the chemo was working he would settle back down. Even if it was working, the treatments would have to continue. She didn't see things getting better anytime soon, but maybe knowing if the drugs were helping would put all of their minds at ease.

She slipped off her shoes hoping that her footsteps wouldn't wake Rusty. As much as she wanted to talk to him, if he was sleeping, she didn't want to disturb him. Sleep wasn't easy for him as it was.

Sharon had just crawled into bed when she heard light tapping on her door. She sat up and flipped on the light, too tired to get up she just said, "Come in."

He rubbed his eyes as he pushed the door open, and she couldn't help but smile at how young he looked in that moment. "You're really late," he said walking over and sitting on the foot of her bed.

"I was wrapping up the case."

"So you got the bad guy?"

"Bad guys. Yes."

She really didn't want to talk about the case with him, or at all to anyone really. It was just one more sad situation that they had gotten involved with after it was too late to change the outcome.

They sat there for another minute studying each other in the dim light until he started to get fidgety and she knew he wasn't going to start the conversation.

"Rusty, I'm not sure what you meant earlier, but I would like to try to understand."

There were a hundred different things he could have been talking about when he said he didn't know what was going on, and she didn't want to make any assumptions.

"I shouldn't have said that Sharon. I was just…I don't know, scared maybe."

Scared? He was scared?

"Why? Of what?" Her questions flowed out before she could stop them.

He sighed and shook his head. She wondered what that meant.

He crossed his legs and turned to face her when he started speaking, "I'm worried that you are… that you're doing too much. Sharon you are sick and you can't keep running a hundred miles an hour and coming in at all hours of the night. It's just not… I can't—" His eyes fell to his lap as he shook his head again and tried to finish but couldn't. His hands were clenched tight and he still hadn't looked back up at her. She scooted closer to him, putting her hands on his, hoping it would calm him, but he just tensed his whole body. She withdrew her hands, placing them in her lap instead resisting the urge to cross them across her body.

"Oh Rusty," she sighed, "It is my job and you know the hours are horrible." Those were the obvious things, and she knew that he understood them already. What was she missing? "I am fine though; tired, yes, but it is the middle of the night," she said with a little smirk.

He wasn't having it though.

Right. No jokes.

He was being serious, and she needed to figure this out quickly because he was going to drive her crazy if she didn't.

"Nevermind Sharon."

He tried to get up, but she caught his arm and pulled him back down gently hoping that her next words would put his worries to rest. "I know this is hard on you and I wish you didn't have to see me like this," she shook her head willing the emotion to leave her voice, "but Rusty it's important that I do my job, and not because I feel like they couldn't do it without me. I _need_ to do it for me, to prove to myself that I can, to keep me going." She held his gaze, wondering if this was what she should have been telling him or not. "If I let the cancer take that from me too then it is winning."

She wasn't expecting it when he put his arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug, but she squeezed back and held on. He whispered into her hair, "Don't let it win." All she could do was nod.

As he let go and stood up to go she wondered if he really was ok, but only time would tell her that.

"I'll meet you at your appointment tomorrow." He hovered in the doorframe and she realized he was waiting for a confirmation of some sort.

She nodded her response and said, "Good night."

"Good night mom." He smirked and closed the door. At least she was back to being _mom_ again. That was a small victory in her mind. Maybe tomorrow would bring another victory.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/n: This chapter is written a little differently, you will see what I mean when you read it. I just didn't want to cloud it up with dialogue that might not sound so much like it should. I tried not to rip out any hearts…well too badly. Let me know what you think and as always enjoy!**

* * *

Today was the day that would probably change the rest of his life. Today they would find out if the treatments were helping Sharon. If they were, that would be great news except that she would probably need more of them; that meant more being sick, always being tired, and more worrying for him…But if they weren't working—well he didn't want to think about it anymore—he knew what would happen, but thinking about it made it worse.

The day was dragging and she absolutely hated when Chief Taylor pawned ridiculous cases off on her team to help numbers in other divisions. Her team had been out most of the day running down leads and witnesses which meant all the action was happening out there, while she was stuck in her office. She looked at the clock inwardly sighing. Rusty would be leaving to meet her soon. He had worried her last night, and she still wasn't sure their talk had done any good because he had been gone this morning when she got out of the shower.

As class ended and he headed out to the car, Ricky started calling. They spoke everyday this week and it had always ended up going in the same direction. Ricky and Emily were worried and upset they couldn't be there…how was mom…was there anything they could do? Rusty just wasn't in the mood today. He was almost positive he had just flunked his test and the day had the potential to get much worse. So Ricky could just wait until later when Sharon called to let them know. Then, Ricky could ask Sharon all the things that Rusty wasn't in the mood to answer.

She pulled into the parking lot, looking around for Rusty. He wasn't there yet, but that was ok because she was really early. She felt like the world around her was moving in slow motion, and she was the only one going full speed ahead. Today needed to end already. Just as she laid her head back to wait, Rusty knocked on her window causing her to jump. He laughed at her, but he looked tired, as though hadn't slept. She wasn't going to bring up the not sleeping again because that just put him on the defensive. That was the last thing she wanted right now so she shut off the car and got out, they might as well go in early.

He hated waiting rooms, but he hated this one especially. Every time he came here felt like complete torture. Sharon seemed like she always did when she was here. She would check in, sit down, and pick up a magazine to read. She was always so composed and it drove him crazy sometimes. He was just about to ask her how the case was going, just to have something to do, but the nurse called them back before he had the chance.

Sitting beside Rusty, in front of the doctor's desk, her heart started racing. It's not like she wasn't expecting it, she had just expected the panic to set in earlier. When the doctor walked in she practically jumped out of her chair. Rusty shot her a look and she just half smiled while waiting for the doctor to settle in. She could feel herself nodding and speaking, but it was like she wasn't a part of the motions. The words sounded as though they were traveling down a tunnel before they reached her.

There was a lot of technical talk and questions about how Sharon had been feeling. He found himself turning his head back and forth from Sharon to the doc, following the conversation as though it was a tennis match. He was watching for any hint of what was to come, but the doctor was maintaining a neutral persona. They were two people who had perfect control of their emotions. He however had very little control. His palms were sweaty, he was making himself dizzy turning his head back and forth, and he knew he was fidgeting. That was until the doctor took a deep breath and Sharon grabbed his hand at the exact same time.

The words washed over her like waves of warm water. She felt Rusty squeeze her hand, and she turned to look at him. She couldn't resist reaching over and putting her arm around him. They were going to be ok. Her blood work showed that the cancer count was down, the tumor had shrunk—not a lot, but a little—her lungs hadn't improved much but it hadn't spread further. He believed the treatment was working. There was still a long road ahead of them, but there was hope. Hope that one day her world would be right side up again.

He could breathe. Sharon's arm around him felt warm for the first time in weeks. He felt the numbness that had become a part of him slowly starting to melt away. The doctor had actually said it was working. It was working. Sharon began speaking again and he tried hard to focus because this was important. Before he knew it though she was standing, pulling him up with her. All he had caught was a few more treatments then they would do the surgery, after that would be more chemo and radiation for her lungs. It didn't sound good compared to the earlier news, but there was a game plan and now they had some sort of hope for the future outcome.

Sitting in her car alone she wasn't sure how to react. She had sent Rusty on ahead of her telling him she would meet him back at her office so they could talk. There hadn't been an opportunity as they walked to their cars, and she needed to get back to work, so they had decided to just meet back there. Suddenly though she wasn't sure how to react because she had prepared herself for the other news, so much so that this just felt like complete and total shock. She had to get herself under control before she could walk back in to work. She found it ridiculous that she was dumfounded at the news. She should have been elated or at least relieved. No, she was relieved. It was just a lot to process.

Sharon had told him to meet her at her office, but as he pulled out of the parking lot he felt the need to stop. She wasn't pulling out behind him. He pulled over, and he could still see Sharon sitting in her car. Her hands were on the steering wheel, but she wasn't going anywhere. He didn't understand. He sat there for 5 minutes, she still hadn't moved. That's when he started feeling weird for watching her. She needed a few minutes to herself; he could understand that. How many times had he just sat in the car when he got home because he needed a minute to prepare himself? He took a deep breath and started his car again heading for Major Crimes. She would be there soon.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/n: Sorry about the ridiculous delay in updating this, but I was gone on vacation and then took a road trip with my best friend across the country. Needless to say I have been busy. Also, college started back this week so it has just been one thing after the other. But good news I am back, and should be back to updating on the regular again.**

 **I am thinking that as I play out this last bit I will be drawing this story to a close. Probably like 3 or 4 maybe 5 chapters. I don't want to just end it and make if feel rushed, but I don't want to drag this on and on and make you guys lose interest either. Enough of my ramblings, get on with the reading, enjoy!**

* * *

Andy had watched Rusty sneak in through the back hall, and then duck into Sharon's office without so much as glancing towards the Murder Room. Andy had overheard Rusty and Sharon talking about her appointment today and how important it was, but he couldn't discern from Rusty's body language how it had gone.

"Lieutenant, did you get those financial records?" Sykes asked.

Andy handed her the file folder without looking at her.

"Uh—thanks." He heard the questioning tone in her voice, but wasn't sure what it implied. That's when he heard Provenza grumbling about something and turned to look at his partner.

"Sir, are you ok?" Sanchez asked.

"Yeah. I'm going to get some coffee." He had realized how ridiculous he probably looked standing around with nothing to do.

Entering the break room he was met by the sight of a frustrated Sharon pushing the Coke button on the machine repeatedly. He walked over silently and hit the side of the machine. She jumped, but the Coke came rolling out.

"Thank you," she said without looking at him.

"Sure."

He resisted the urge to put a hand on her shoulder and ask how she was doing. There was an invisible wall between them these days. Luckily the electric kettle started bubbling, breaking the awkward moment between them. As she turned to make her tea she asked, "Have we made any progress on the case?"

So they still weren't going to talk about the awkwardness.

"We just got backgrounds and financial records on the family. Sykes and Sanchez are going through them now."

She turned to face him, a drink in both hands. "I hate that we investigate the family first." There was sadness in her eyes and he wondered if there was more to that statement.

Andy just nodded in agreement and headed over to open the door for her. "Listen Sharon, I know it's none of my business and you don't have to tell me, but how did it go with the doc today?"

She looked slightly surprised, but her face softened a second later. "It went well, as of right now it seems as though the treatment is working."

Relief flooded through him. "That's great news! You sound skeptical though."

She stopped in the doorway just inches from him. It was the closest he had been to her in months. He missed the closeness.

"It's just that I know there is a long road ahead, and this is just one small milestone." She gave him a small smile before continuing, "I just don't want to put all of my hope into one tiny bit of good news." With that she headed off to her office and left him standing there not knowing what to say.

Good news, but not good enough to convince her that she was going to pull through. The woman could be difficult and stubborn, but he could not stop feeling the way he felt about her.

* * *

"Thanks," he said as she handed him the Coke and sat down in the chair next to him.

They just shared the silence for a minute. He wasn't sure what to say and he was almost positive Sharon was waiting on him to speak; the thing was he had no words. He was conflicted. On one hand he was extremely happy that she was _getting better_ , but on the other this whole thing was far from over.

"Rusty," she reached out to touch his arm and he did his best not to tense up. He had no reason she was his mom. She sensed it though and let out a little sigh as her hand fell back into her lap.

"I'm sorry Sharon." He felt like such an idiot for how he reacted to things sometimes.

"You know if you don't want to talk you don't have to. I only asked you to meet me back here in case you wanted to since there was no time after the appointment."

He wanted to say things, but none of them seemed appropriate. He also knew there were things he knew he _should_ say, but the words didn't want to come out.

"I know you've got to get back to work, but I'm glad there was good new today."

There that was true, even if not the whole truth. He just needed some time to process. He felt like he always just needed time. Time he didn't always have, and time that was never guaranteed.

She just nodded her head, "Me too." She always understood him, and that was comforting and annoying at the same time. "I'll see you tonight then," she said.

He stood up and grabbed his bag. "Ok good luck catching the bad guy."

Sharon tilted her head and smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes looked sad; he knew he should say something else, but instead he just tried to smile too. As he walked by she briefly touched his forearm and whispered, "It's ok."

As he walked to the parking garage he thought about those words. They could have just been the simplest two words in the English language, but they weren't. It was so much more than that.

* * *

She had spent her drive home on the phone with her two older children. They had called earlier in the day, but she hadn't had time to stop and talk. The case had picked up momentum, they were closing in on a suspect, and she hadn't had a chance to sit for five minutes, let alone think in the direction of telling them about the doctor. Now, walking through the door she had three things to accomplish.

Eat. She couldn't remember actually eating today.

Check on Rusty.

Sleep. She wanted to sleep for a week. It wasn't possible, but the want and the need were still there.

The condo was dark. She flipped on the lamp closest to her, looking at her watch. It was almost 9 and there was a very unlikely chance that Rusty was already asleep.

"Rusty," she called down the hall before moving to the kitchen.

There was no response or movement in the hall. She flipped the light on to the kitchen and saw that he had left her a plate of chicken and vegetables with a note.

 _You don't need to wait up I went to the library. Love, R._

She smiled to herself as she heated up the food. It was one of things she had grown accustomed to when Rusty had moved in; he was always cooking her something to eat and it was usually delicious. She had told him again and again that he didn't need to cook, but he usually just told her, "With your hours, if I waited on you to cook, we would both starve." It always made her smile. She loved that boy with everything she had.

Food eaten and now dressed in her pajamas, she laid in bed clutching her phone and debating on texting Rusty to check in.

Space. No space. That was always the internal debate she found herself having.

Instead of asking when he would be home or how the studying was going, she found herself sending a message that would probably be more readily accepted.

 _Thanks for dinner. I love you._

There were ways of finding out what she wanted to know without asking the question outright. A skilled practice she had learned and perfected over the years. Just as she expected, his reply came back after just a minute of waiting.

 _Love you 2. Leaving now._

She rolled over and placed the phone on the nightstand, but left the light on. The door to her room was just barely cracked. That would be the invitation, and he could either accept or head to his room without saying anything.

It wasn't unusual for Rusty to withdraw or try to isolate himself when something was troubling him, but there were rare instances when with an open invitation, and no pressure involved, he would open himself up and get it all out in the open.

As she fought sleep for the next half an hour she said silent prayers and made mental notes about what needed to be done the next day. Anything she could do to avoid succumbing to the sleep she so desperately needed.

Then, finally, she heard the front door open, the lamp she had left on in the living room shut off, and quiet footsteps as he padded down the hall. There was a pause in the movement and she sat up waiting for him to make his decision. The door silently pushed open and she smiled in greeting.

"Hey," he said quietly, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. He looked tired and his eyes were a little red. She hoped it was from exhaustion and not from crying.

"Hey," she said just as quietly as he had.

"I told you not to wait up," he smirked, and then with a hint of concern asked, "Did you eat?"

"I did, thank you. How did the studying go?"

He just shrugged. _Ok_ , she thought. "I am sorry for how I acted earlier. It's just a lot to think about, and I realized at the library that it's probably even more for you."

She waited to make sure that he was done before she spoke. "You don't have to apologize. I've told you that." She smiled, but he didn't. "But the absolute last thing that I want is to have you either feel like you can't talk to me, or for you to feel like you are alone Rusty." She reached for his hand, glad when he accepted the gesture. "I love you, and if you don't want to say anything else and just go to bed because it has been a long day, that's fine. At least I got to see you and tell you I love you."

She wasn't sure exactly what had him in such turmoil internally, but she knew it was important that he know he was loved.

"I'm going to see Dr. Joe tomorrow, maybe we can talk after that?"

She nodded an affirmative, "When you're ready."

He got up and walked to where she was sitting at the head of the bed. She reached out her arms without even having to think about it. He hugged her and whispered, "I love you too."

* * *

It was 2 AM when Andrea's phone started buzzing on the nightstand. She rolled over groaning and without looking at the screen answered, "Hobbs."

There was just heavy breathing on the other end of the line. After saying "hello" with no response she pulled the phone away and realized it was a blocked number and hung up.

Part of her job involved dealing with the worst of the worst, harassment, and even death threats, but it was always a pain in the ass when she had to change her cell phone number. Just as she was putting the phone back in its place it started ringing again.

Blocked. Again.

"Hobbs," she answered dimly.

"You might want to check outside," came the hoarse voice from the other end of the line.

Andrea remained silent. She had no intention of going outside, but she did stand up to peer out the window. Just as she pulled back the curtain, her car exploded into a glowing fireball.

"Asshole." The words left her mouth before she could stop them. He had to be watching her to know when she had looked outside. The timing was too perfect. She stepped back letting the curtain fall back into place.

"It's just the start Andrea." She didn't recognize the voice, but it sounded like an older man.

"What's your endgame?"

She had played this game before, they always wanted something. For her to throw a case. To cut a better deal. To let their friend out of jail. To help a family member. It never worked though. She didn't negotiate, and she didn't back down.

"All in good time Andrea. All in good time."

The line went dead.

 _Shit._

She could already hear the sirens in the distance, so there was no need for her to call the fire department herself; there was only one call she wanted to make, but there were lots of reasons she shouldn't.

She did it anyway because Sharon would be pissed if she had to find out through the grapevine at work tomorrow just because Andrea though it was better to let her get some sleep.

Forty-five minutes later, just as the last flames were being extinguished, Sharon came barreling through the barricades with Rusty in tow. Andrea wasn't sure what was funnier, watching the rookie patrolman dive out of the Captain's way, or the way Sharon had ahold of Rusty's hand dragging him along as though he were five years old.

Both, she decided as a little chuckle escaped. At least there was a little humor to this messed up situation.

Andrea locked eyes with Sharon as she was spotted by her, and as Sharon approached she dropped Rusty's hand and enveloped Andrea into an embrace. The DDA gladly leaned into the hug, grateful for the comfort.

"Are you all right?" Sharon asked.

"I told you on the phone I was fine." She completed the sentence with a small twirl complete with arms extended. "See, not a scratch. You really didn't have to come over here."

The look Sharon shot her before turning to look at the car said otherwise though. Andrea noticed that Rusty had practically given her the same look. It was interesting to see the things he was starting to inherit from his mom.

"Did you give your statement yet?" Sharon questioned, falling into Captain mode now that she was confident Andrea wasn't injured.

"Yes."

Suddenly the weight of the situation and the scene seemed to be hitting her.

Rusty noticed the change in her demeanor and stepped a little closer asking quietly if she wanted to sit down. Sharon mumbled something about the fire chief and headed off. Andrea took that as her cue and nodded to Rusty as she began lowering herself to the porch step. "Sorry you got dragged down here too," she said once she was seated.

"It's not a problem. I'm just glad you aren't hurt."

His words seemed sincere, and she decided to leave it at that. They sat and watched as the fire fighters began cleaning up the hoses and tools they had used to extinguish the fire. The detectives were signaling for people to move as they tried to make room for the tow truck. Sharon was standing with the fire chief who had arrived a few minutes before. It was a lot to taken in, and Andrea was startled when Rusty started to speak.

"You should stay with us until they find out who did this," he said.

She pretended to mull it over, eventually saying, "I don't think they will be back tonight, or come back here at all. It's too risky."

"That's probably what Chief Taylor thought too when I was taken and he didn't put a security detail on Sharon."

Ouch. His words were cold and laced with bitterness; bitterness that stung because Sharon had been taken on her watch.

"She's probably going to suggest it anyway," he said nodding his head towards Sharon.

He was probably right. She would, and for some reason Andrea found it exceedingly difficult to say no to her best friend. Andrea turned and nodded her head giving Rusty a little smile. She didn't have any words at the moment, but she was grateful to have them both in her life.

Sharon headed their way a few minutes later, but neither stood to meet her. She stood in front of them and put her hand on Rusty's shoulder. Andrea barely noticed the wobble before it was gone. Rusty had grabbed Sharon's arm and she was steady again. If you didn't know them you would think it was a sweet gesture, but Andrea did know them, very well. She took note of the way Rusty tried to play it off and not show concern, but it was there, even if only for the briefest of moments.

Sharon was pushing her limits. It wasn't an observation. It was a fact.

"Did you pack your stuff yet?" Sharon asked after clearing her throat.

Rusty and Andrea shared a look and he let out a small chuckle. Sharon looked at him, but just smirked.

Those two sure did make a pair.

"Not yet," Andrea relented and stood up to head inside with the two people she felt were most important in her life right on her heels.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/n: So as I said before this story will be ending in a couple of chapters. It may not seem like it once you get done with this chapter, but don't worry…all in good time. Things are about to move very quickly as we see how things with Andrea's stalker are wrapped up and how things with Sharon start to conclude. Emily and Ricky will be making one more appearance before things are settled. I don't usually do previews, but there you have it lol.**

 **I'll be in Aruba for a week and who knows if I will have time to write while I am there, so depending on that it might be a little over a week before I post again. Until then. Enjoy!**

* * *

Three days had gone by since Andrea's car had been blown up, and the threats and the calls kept coming. Each one was worse than the last. It had moved past the point of being just an annoyance to the point where she was actually scared. She wouldn't go anywhere alone, her boss had gotten a protection detail assigned to her, and somehow a member of the Major Crimes Division had become her constant shadow. That part she knew was largely due to Sharon even with all the protesting Andrea had done Sharon had simply shook her head and said, "Get used to it."

Along with the extra security she was still staying with Sharon and Rusty, largely due to the fact that her mystery caller had broken in and trashed her place after all the police had cleared out. She was eternally grateful that Sharon had insisted she come home with her that night. The condo was small for the three of them, but somehow they had managed to make it work. Andrea was almost positive Rusty seemed relieved to have her there.

Sharing a room with the Captain wasn't as awkward as she had imagined, that was up until about 40 minutes ago when Sharon had jolted out of bed and taken up what seemed to be a familiar position next to the toilet. Andrea hadn't exactly known if she should follow the other woman or not, but when she had heard Rusty enter the bathroom via the other door, Andrea had ducked out to head for the kitchen. Sharon and Rusty had a routine it seemed like, and she didn't want to interrupt or make Sharon uncomfortable.

Absentmindedly, she made a glass of water and went to perch herself on the edge of the sofa. The next time she looked at the clock, she realized it had been over an hour since she had escaped the sight of her best friend getting sick. The sounds and movements had stopped a while ago, but Andrea felt as though she was in a trance, unable to move. Her mind was stuck on auto play; the conversations she'd had with her nameless stalker were going around and around in her head for the thousandth time.

 _I will destroy everything you worked for._

 _You think that you can keep hiding behind those people?_

 _Did you move? Good, I like new challenges._

 _Who's the redhead who showed up to comfort you? One of your little dyke friends?_

 _I'm not sure you want to know what I want._

 _You. Dead._

The last thought sent a shiver up her spine. But what she wasn't sure about was why he wanted her dead. Was he someone she had prosecuted? She didn't recognize the voice, but she prosecuted hundreds of people she couldn't possibly remember them all.

The trance broke when Rusty emerged from the bathroom and took a seat beside her on the couch. She wasn't sure what to say other than to ask how Sharon was, and they both knew the answer to that. So she remained silent.

Out of nowhere his words came, "She tells me not to get up with her, that I should be sleeping and she's sorry for waking me. But- she's weak Andrea, and I don't mean that as a characterization but her body is shot. The doctor told us that the treatment was working but the treatment is also ruining her body." He stopped and placed his head in his hands. "She fell asleep in my arms on the bathroom floor. She's never done that before. There was no energy left for her to make it back to bed." A sigh escaped and she shifted, waiting, knowing there was more coming, even if she didn't want to hear it. "One night I didn't hear her get up and the next morning I found her laying in the bathtub. Her breath was very shallow and for a minute I panicked. When I got her awake she just said that she hadn't been sure if she was going to to be sick again and the bathtub made a better bed than the floor. You know what she did that day?"

He clearly expected her to answer, but Andrea just shook her head unknowingly.

"She went to work, went on the actual bust, and wound up basically tackling a guy as he made a run for it out the front door. Provenza told me it was one of the craziest sights he had ever seen. That's not strong Andrea that's stubborn and stupid."

Andrea had let a small chuckle escape her lips at the mental image of Sharon tackling someone, but his last words sobered her. "She's—"

He cut her off though, "I know why she does it. Why she gets up and goes everyday even when she should be in bed. It's the only thing keeping her going, without it she feels like she's lost. But can't she see that I'm—" he shook his head, and Andrea's heart broke for him. He had probably never been so open to anyone like this other than Sharon.

She realized it was time for her to step in before he worked himself up too much more, "You're the one that has gotten her this far. Without you she probably would have lost hope a long time ago. No one knows what goes on here, and no one knows how truly lucky Sharon is to have you in her life." Andrea put her hand on his back, causing Rusty to look up at her for the next part. "She told me a few weeks ago that the thought of how close she had come to losing you to Stroh still hurt her so badly she couldn't breathe sometimes. Rusty she loves you and she's fighting so hard for you. And Ricky and Emily because that's what she does. She's a mother above all else. Even if she feels that she has to go to work everyday, she KNOWS she has to be here everyday for you."

She watched as he considered her words and then he gave her a small smile; one that she returned without hesitation.

As though he suddenly realized he had shown a small piece of his soul to her, he stiffened and straightened up, changing the subject. "You can sleep in my room if you'd like. I—uh I don't think I feel like sleeping. If you shut the door you won't hear much, and I can like get you new sheets or something if that's weird. It's just you should get some sleep."

Andrea looked at the clock just after midnight. She had a big case starting in the morning. "Ok, but don't worry about the sheets I've slept in worse I'm sure."

They shared a smile. "Tomorrow I'll put new ones on there and you can have my room. This is only day one of treatment this week."

"I can't takeover your room Rusty. I already feel as though I'm intruding being here for so long."

"Well don't. It's important to stay safe." He said it a little too quickly and it made her remember his words at her house. _That's probably what Chief Taylor thought too when I was taken and he didn't put a security detail on Sharon._

"Right. Ok good night then and thank you Rusty." She hoped he understood the double meaning behind her words.

As she headed down the hall she could hear the faint sounds of Sharon mumbling something. Andrea stood close to the door, listening, not realizing that Rusty had followed her down the hall. His whisper startled her.

"She's praying." Andrea turned to face him with a questioning look on her face. Sharon was Catholic, sure, but she had never heard the other woman pray. "When the pain gets really bad, she prays." He shrugged and opened the door, stepped inside, and closed it back.

She didn't understand how Sharon was still managing to balance everything while dealing with this. Andrea's respect for Sharon had just gone up even higher, and she wasn't sure that was even possible. She decided to let everything be for tonight and turned to enter Rusty's room and hopefully get some much needed sleep.

* * *

At 5:45 in the morning, Andrea silently crept out of Rusty's room and into Sharon's. There was just enough light shining through the curtains to see. She took in the sight of a finally resting Sharon and made her way to her suitcase. She extracted her clothes and then headed for the bathroom to shower and get ready.

By the time she emerged from the bathroom 45 minutes later there were sounds of voices coming from the kitchen along with something that smelled delicious. She put her things back with her suitcase, noticing that Sharon was no longer in bed, and headed for the kitchen. As she got close enough to understand the low conversation that was happening, she stopped in her tracks to listen.

"Really mom? Seriously?"

"Yes, really. You are going to class. I will be fine here, thank you very much."

"It's not like I have a test today or anything." His tone was a little bitter, but the bickering brought a smile to Andrea's face. Even when things were crazy there were some things that would never change, like a kid not wanting to go to school.

"Rusty, as much as I appreciate all that you do for me, you need to have a life of your own, and part of that life includes going to college."

"Fine."

"Fine."

There was a break in the conversation, and Andrea started walking again, until she heard Sharon's next comment. It felt like she was invading their privacy, but it wasn't like she could run back down the hall or anything.

"And honey, as nice as it is that you gave Andrea your room last night, you know I would never ask you to do that. It's your room. Andrea understands that too."

Sharon had once told her that even when Ricky and Emily were here, she felt that it was important to make sure Rusty knew that room was _his_ and it was his for as long as he wanted it to be. Andrea understood what Sharon was trying to accomplish by that, he had been moved around and passed over so many times that it was important that he felt that stability of knowing no matter what it was his. Had Andrea not been so tired last night, she probably would have protested taking it longer, and in a way she felt as though she had let Sharon down by taking it.

"I know that, but Sharon I don't mind, really. Plus, she looked like she was really tired, and I just don't want her to leave because she can't sleep or something." She heard him sigh and imagined that he was shaking his head as he had last night. "At least here, she's safe. If she goes to a hotel, she might not be."

"Well thank you, I want her safe too. But if you want your room back all you have to do is say the word. We will both understand."

"I know. Does uh—do you know if she likes onions in her omelet?"

Andrea took that as her cue and made a little noise as she rounded the corner into the kitchen. "What smells so delicious?" she asked, trying to act as though she hadn't heard a thing.

"Omelets. Do you like onion in yours?" Rusty asked.

"Yes, thank you."

She took a seat at the bar and took in the scene before her. The other two were silent now, and Sharon was leaned against the counter next to Rusty holding a teacup. She looked exhausted and beautiful at the same time, and Andrea wondered how that was even possible. Rusty seemed to let some of the tension roll out of his shoulders as he finished cooking and set her plate in front of her. She wondered when he had gained an attachment to her that included worrying about her safety to the extent that he was. It was comforting in an odd way. She thanked him, and then tilted her head in question to her best friend, as to ask if she was eating. Sharon just shook her head and eyed Rusty as he threw things into his backpack and headed down the hall to get ready.

Sharon waited until he was out of earshot to say quietly, "He's worried about you."

It would probably seem like an out of the blue comment, had she not heard the earlier exchange. But instead of playing dumb, the blonde just replied, "He's worried about you too."

The look that grazed Sharon's face was one of heartbreak before she carefully schooled her features and brought a cup of coffee over for Andrea as she took the seat beside her. "There are times I wish he wasn't here to see me like this, that he could have the same luxury as Emily and Ricky in that matter, but I really don't know what I would do without him."

Andrea could understand that, and just nodded her understanding. "Are you feeling better?" she asked sheepishly.

"Not at all. It's just an illusion so that he will go to school." The older woman leaned her head against her hand still facing Andrea. "I'm sorry about last night, I should have warned you."

Andrea shook her head in protest as she swallowed. "Nothing to be sorry for. I wasn't asleep. I was just laying there thinking."

As if reading Andrea's mind she said, "We are going to catch the guy who is threatening you."

The strength behind Sharon's words resonated in Andrea's ears, and she had no choice but to earnestly believe that they would. "I know."

They sat in silence, Andrea eating and Sharon tentatively sipping her tea, until Rusty returned and announced he was leaving. He hugged Sharon and smiled to Andrea before heading out the door.

"I need to lie down, but help yourself to anything. You know where things are, and my house is your house as long as you need it."

The Captain was looking a little more pale now, and Andrea wondered if she should do something for her before she too left. "Thanks. Uh—anything I can do?"

"No, just kick ass in court today," she said over her shoulder as she entered her bedroom.

* * *

At noon, she made her way—along with her bodyguards and Sanchez, who was the lucky shadow of the day—into the Murder Room. The defendant in her trial from this morning had decided to make a last minute deal. That was fine by her because the absolute last thing she felt like doing was going through a long trial with a sex offender who was clearly guilty. She looked around noticing that the office was mainly empty, and Sanchez offered up that they had caught a case and if she was going to stay in the building that he wanted to go catch up with the team.

Andrea obliged and told him she would stay put until he got back. She knew that was the trade off, if she was in the PAB the lucky member of the day from Major Crimes was free from her, but when she left someone would be with her until she got back to Sharon's. It all seemed absolutely ridiculous, but she knew that it was only ridiculous until it wasn't and something happened. Plus, if it was putting Sharon's mind at ease she could live with it.

The DDA carried the lunches she had picked up into Sharon's office and sat down in front of the other woman. Sharon carefully regarded her before greeting her casually, as though she didn't recognize her.

Something was off. She could feel it.

"What's wrong?" Sharon waved her hand trying to dismiss the question but dropped her pen in the process. "Sharon, what's going on?"

Andrea got up and went around the desk spinning the Captain's chair so that they were facing each other. Finally Sharon relented and slumped back in her chair letting the charade fade away.

"My vision is…blurred and I'm…having difficulty…breathing." The words were almost whispered and definitely strained.

"Oh my God." Andrea couldn't even begin to stop the words from exiting her mouth. "And you are just sitting here pretending nothing is wrong?"

"I was hoping it would go away like it has before, but it's been over an hour."

"An hour! Jesus Sharon!"

"Shhhh…quit yelling before someone hears you."

Andrea couldn't believe it. She was worried someone would hear she was sick. Of course she was, but that was ridiculous! Rusty was right, she was bordering on being stupid.

"Can you stand?" Andrea asked in a quieter voice.

"I'm not sure…I was dizzy before I sat."

"If you can't then we are calling for paramedics because there is no way I am risking you falling on the way to the car. So either try or I call."

Andrea heard the harshness of her voice, and realized that it was just trying to mask the worry. This was her best friend, and she knew she needed help.

"I can stand," Sharon said determinedly, "Where…are we…going?" Her words were getting breathier and there were longer pauses between each.

"The hospital."

As though there was another option.

* * *

"I'm looking for my mom, Captain Sharon Raydor."

Andrea heard the familiar voice, and got up from the plastic chair she had taken up residence in to walk around the corner toward Rusty.

"This way Rusty," she said softly putting a hand on his shoulder.

He followed without protest, but when she gestured for him to sit in the chair next to hers he refused. "Where is she?"

"They took her back when we got here in the ambulance an hour ago. I'm still waiting to hear something."

She did her best to seem calm, but inside she was going crazy. She couldn't understand what was taking so long. Why no one had come out to talk to her.

"I told her not to go to work today, she said she wasn't going to. Then, she texted me at 10 and said they had a new case and she was just going for a few hours." He finally sat down in the chair; resigned to the fact that standing wasn't going to accomplish anything. "What happened?"

"I came to bring her lunch, and when I got there her vision was blurry and she was having trouble breathing…" Her voice trailed off as the rest of the scenario played out in her mind.

 _Sharon had stood up to go with Andrea, but she crumpled. Andrea managed to catch her and yelled for one of her bodyguards to call 911. She had sat on the ground running her hand over Sharon's hair and telling her everything was going to be fine. When the paramedics arrived, they scooped her up and they all headed for the hospital._

 _In the ambulance Sharon woke back up. "I'm not dead yet," she had said to Andrea who was caught wiping the tears off her face. When they arrived, the doctors wouldn't let Andrea back there, but Sharon had said something about call Rusty. So that's what she had done. She had called Rusty and waited._

"…she was doing better in the ambulance though." She finally finished the sentence, but left out the middle part for Rusty's sake. He didn't need all the details this time.

Rusty seemed to accept her answer, and began picking at the strings on his sweatshirt in silence until a nurse finally came out to talk to them.

"Family of Sharon Raydor?"

"That's us," Rusty said giving Andrea a look that said _go with it._

"She's resting comfortably now, I'll take you back to see her and the doctor will be in shortly to explain things."

"Thank you," they said in unison and followed the nurse back.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/n: So it took me some time to catch up on life after my vacation, but here is the next chapter. We are getting there people, hang in there for just a few more. As always enjoy!**

* * *

Sharon had stayed in the hospital for two days in order for the doctors to get all of her blood work back into normal ranges. It had been three days ago that she came home. It would be no less than six weeks before she went back to work. Rusty and Andrea had convinced her that it was time to take a leave of absence and she had to agree for once.

She was still getting updates on the investigation into Andrea's mystery stalker from Provenza, even though there seemed to be no new information. Provenza however refused to tell her about the case there were working, saying, "You just focus on getting better so I don't have to keep up the paperwork." They had shared a smile over the comment, and she couldn't be anything but grateful for his—and the rest of the team's—understanding and dedication.

Sharon found herself in bed the majority of the time that Rusty was at school and Andrea was working, but she never felt fully rested. She always managed to be out of bed and at least out on the couch before Rusty came home. She felt as though he needed to see that she was ok after her unexpected trip to the hospital.

When she had woken up to him asleep next to her bed—clutching her hand even in his sleep—she could tell how scared he had been. It was truly the worst feeling, knowing that she was the cause of so much of his pain. He had gone almost immediately from being the _victim_ , she hated that word in reference to him, of Phillip Stroh to feeling as though he had to be her caregiver.

Today, she thought she might attempt to make dinner, but the pain was bad today, so maybe not. It felt as though someone had taken a baseball bat to her side. The surgery was scheduled for the following week and tomorrow was going to be her final treatment until after that. It would be a small reprieve.

As she made her way into the living room, there was a knock at the door. She wasn't expecting anyone, and she had to admit she was a little jumpy these days. Instinct made her grab her spare fun from the sideboard table near the door before asking, "Who's there?"

"It's just me."

Jack.

What did he want?

Without setting down her gun, she opened the door. He took in the sight before him and raised his hands, "Don't shoot."

The time that that humor would have worked had long since passed.

"What do you want Jack?"

She really was surprised that he had stuck around Los Angeles as long as he had and that he wasn't taking off back to Las Vegas or New York or God knows where.

"To talk Sharon. The past two times I stopped by you basically dismissed me." He let out a sigh. "Can I come in?"

It was true she had dismissed him. They were divorced for a reason. She looked at her watch and then back at her ex husband. No, she didn't want to let him in. Everyone would be home soon.

"Is there a reason you keep showing up here? It is unusual to see you so often."

"Well you see Sharon—"

"I don't want the full story Jack." She turned and set her gun down, but was sure to keep her body blocking the door. "Cut to the chase," she said as she faced him again.

"I lost the apartment, and I need to get off my friend's couch. Do you think—"

"No. Absolutely not."

She should have known.

If he wasn't the father of her children…she shook her head not wanting to finish that thought.

She needed to sit down, but it didn't look like he was leaving or even thinking about leaving.

"Good bye Jack," she said, starting to close the door but he stopped it. "What?" She was done with this conversation and her tone clearly stated that.

She heard footsteps coming down the hall just before she heard the voice that matched those steps. "Mom?"

She gave Jack a look as he mouthed _mom_ and turned to stare at Rusty.

"Jack," Rusty said through clenched teeth.

Sharon motioned for Jack to move and pulled Rusty inside. He didn't go further than the entryway though.

"As I was saying, goodbye Jack."

This time there was no time for Jack to stop the door and she was glad because she suddenly felt like shooting him. But his voice echoed through the door, "I lost it all Shar—my job the apartment, everything. I'm sober. One night Sharon, then I'm gone."

"There's a Best Western right down the street."

There was shuffling and then silence. He was gone. Probably heading to a new city tomorrow since he had managed to overstay his welcome in this one. Again.

She turned around, catching Rusty staring at her gun, which was still on the side table. He was a little jumpy around guns and knives still. She quickly moved it back to the drawer and said, "How was class?"

"Uh—I got an A on that paper I wrote at the…hospital. Told you it was good."

A wave of fatigue was overtaking her, but she managed to tell him, "That's great. I'm proud of you," and brushed his arm as she headed for the couch.

How was it that Jack always managed to show up at the worst times? And why did he keep coming back here? Especially after he had hurt her so badly the last time he decided to meddle. They'd never actually spoke about it after the day he had shown up and Stroh had taken her. Talking wouldn't help though. She knew that. Talking had quit working 20 something years ago. Jack had to know that she wasn't going to help him anymore.

Drawing herself out of her thoughts, no longer wishing to be thinking about Jack, she noticed Rusty was just perched on an arm of the chair nearest her with a questioning look on his face.

Questioning what though?

"Yes?" she asked, closing her eyes and leaning back into the couch.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She took a minute to pretend as though she was considering it and then flatly said, "No, thank you."

"Ok—do you know when Andrea will be home?"

Sharon felt her eyebrow quirk involuntarily before she could control it. Rusty took that as she wanted some sort of explanation, but in reality it occurred to her that in the short time Andrea had began inhabiting their home, he had become increasingly comfortable and reliant on the other woman.

"Andrea said she would help me with some legal questions I had about my new article for the paper," his response to the eyebrow raise came, but she was struggling to process the thoughts warring in her mind.

The conclusion: Sharon was grateful to Andrea, and thankful that Rusty and the DDA were getting closer. Especially considering, she was the one Sharon had asked to be there for him if something happened to her. And in some sense she had already started fulfilling that promise. Sharon couldn't help the feeling that she was failing her son though, and somewhere in the middle of all those other thoughts and emotions was a tinge of jealousy. She was jealous. She could tamp the jealousy down because the entire idea was ridiculous. No she shouldn't be jealous, she was glad for their forming bond. It was important, even if it was saddening in many ways.

Rusty touched her arm bringing her back to reality. "You ok?"

"Fine," she shook her head still trying to clear it completely. Then, she remembered the question and looked at her watch. "Andrea should be here soon."

* * *

"Sir, I think I have something," Sanchez said.

Provenza put down his crossword, "What is it?"

"A plate that has popped 26 times outside the courthouse and it's not registered to anyone who works there or any of the attorneys scheduled to be in court."

"Well that's a start. Who is the lucky owner?

The team gathered around Sanchez's desk. Everyone was on edge, ready to catch the bastard threatening Hobbs and inadvertently making their lives hell in the process.

"It was reported stolen a week ago but Clarissa Jones," Sanchez said after a few more keystrokes on the computer.

"Stolen, and patrol didn't investigate when the tag was captured?" Tao questioned.

Sanchez shrugged his shoulders, and Provenza found himself developing a plan in his head. "Someone call Amy, she's with Hobbs, and update her on what we know. If she's at the courthouse tell her stay put."

"What are you thinking?" Flynn questioned.

"Maybe we will get lucky and wrap this up today." Provenza grabbed his jacket, and pulled out his phone to call Cooper and get SIS involved.

Time to put an end to this once and for all.

* * *

"Mom," Rusty yelled from the kitchen. He turned the burner down on the pasta so that it wouldn't boil over, and headed to the living room, just in time to answer Sharon's phone.

"Hey Andrea," he said moving down the hall to find Sharon.

"Is Sharon asleep or something? I need to talk to her."

Andrea's voice seemed rushed and a tinge of panic was there too.

"I'm looking for her, one sec. You ok?"

"Looking for her?" Andrea questioned.

He sensed the movement before he felt her hand on his shoulder, but still jumped managing to catch the phone before it hit the floor.

Sharon slid her hand up and down his arm, causing him to relax, while speaking softly. "It's just me. Relax. I was on the balcony." Once he regained his composure, she took the phone from his shaky hands. She began to speak to Andrea and wrapped an arm around him, leading him out of the hallway, back to the living room.

* * *

"They have the car under surveillance. We don't know where the driver is. We need to evacuate. We don't know that Hobbs is the only target," Tao said.

"He'll escape if we evacuate. There will be too much confusion and panic," Flynn said.

Provenza was pacing back and forth, trying to think of the best way to make this work when Cooper stepped up. "Let me go in and get them out. Sykes has her quarantined. We go out the most unpredictable exit. Then, we post guards at all the exits, go room by room verifying identities and whether or not they should be there."

"That will take hours!" Flynn didn't hold back.

"You got somewhere better to be?" Provenza asked.

"This may be the only shot we have to be on the offensive. Up until now it's been strictly defense," Cooper retorted.

"Sir, I hate to say it, but what if he's not in the building? What if he ditched the car?" Sanchez asked.

Amy came over the radio asking what the plan was and everyone turned to look at Provenza. His focus, however, was on the woman walking up dressed in a black trench coat, phone to her ear. He took a step toward her and the group's focus shifted. As she joined the group she hung up the phone saying, "I'm here. You'll be fine. Hang in there."

Putting the phone away, the Captain asked, "What do we know?"

"Sharon, you shouldn't be here." The words left his mouth before he could catch them.

"Oh I know Lieutenant, and you should have called me, but we will discuss that later. What do we know?"

The team filled her in on the details of the car and the options they were considering.

"Ok, Lieutenant Cooper and I will go in and get Andrea out. Provenza get the building sealed. Andy and Julio you organize a search of surrounding buildings and rooftops. We are taking no chances. Does everyone understand that?"

When they nodded she continued.

"Mike, I want you to dust that car, and see if we can figure out who we are looking for. The minute we lockdown the building and pull out all the stops he could panic. You wait until you know we are clear and then lock it down and find this guy." There was a pause, as she looked each individual in the eye. "I want to thank all of you for your dedication to this over the past weeks. It means a lot to me. So let's get this done _today._ "

* * *

When the door swung open and she saw Sharon standing there, gun in hand, it was like a wave of relief washed over her. Sharon was there to save her again. Sharon was mustering all her strength to be there for _her._

Sharon knelt down on the floor in front of Andrea and used the hand not holding her gun to grab one of Andrea's. "You're going to be fine. Stay with me ok?"

"I trust you." It was the only reply that Andrea could come up with. She just wanted this to be over.

They shared a long, searching look then Sharon stood and pulled Andrea up with her. Cooper and Amy opened the door. The DDA found herself in the middle of all of them. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time.

They made a turn down a hall that was home to a few of the judge's chambers. Then, they entered what she had always thought was a storage closet, but was really a small stairwell. It led to a tunnel that was underground.

As they got further down the tunnel she noticed Cooper and Amy relax a little, but not Sharon. Andrea wanted to ask questions, but knew it wasn't the time. There was a ladder at the end of the tunnel. Cooper climbed up, opened the door, and gave them the go ahead. Everyone climbed except Sharon. Andrea knew the Captain was using everything she had, and for a moment she hated that she had dragged the older woman into this. But Sharon started climbing seeming as though she had finally caught her breath.

Just as Sharon was about to climb the last step shots rang out and Andrea felt a sting on her shoulder. Then, Amy pushed her down and in the process Andrea stumbled and fell onto Sharon. They fell off the ladder and down onto the concrete below them. The door above them slammed shut and Andrea rolled off the other woman.

Sharon got to her feet and pulled Andrea up. They began running back down the tunnel, gunshots were still ringing out above them. Suddenly the Captain pulled the blonde into a storage room Andrea hadn't even noticed on the way out. Sharon slammed the door and blocked it with a filing cabinet. Andrea realized she was holding her arm when Sharon pulled her hand away.

"It's just grazed." The words were so quiet she barely heard them over her still labored breathing.

She could feel Sharon tending to the wound, but other than that she just felt cold and empty.

Shock. She knew she was in shock.

There were voices in the tunnel and Sharon was up with her weapon ready in an instant.

Tao's voice was a welcome relief when he knocked on the door and said, "Captain, it's all clear."

"We need an ambulance," Sharon called through the door as she struggled to move the filing cabinet out of the way.

* * *

Sharon sat on the edge of the bed in the emergency room waiting on the doctor to finish stitching up her arm. The ladder had cut her arm when Andrea fell on top of her. Sykes was in the bed next to Sharon with a diagnosis of bruised ribs. Amy had taken one to the chest, but her vest had stopped the bullet. Sharon thanked God for that. Andrea was in the other bed next to her, getting her arm stitched up and tended to.

They were all very lucky, and she knew it.

What she couldn't understand was how Andrea's stalker, his name turned out to be Joseph Scanlon, knew about the tunnel. There were very few that knew it existed and it wasn't on any of the blueprints. They would probably never know the answer to that though because he was dead. Her team had managed to kill him. It was over. The loss of life was tragic, but she could live with it because it meant Andrea was safe. Her team was safe. Rusty was safe.

Those were the important things.

The investigation would be continued, and they would find out the motive behind threatening the DDA but the threat was gone.

She saw Rusty walking toward them and couldn't help but smile. He was there to drive them home, but it felt good just seeing him. The doctor finished up her stitches just as Rusty reached her bed.

"You're ok." It wasn't a question it was a statement that was meant to tell his brain and body to relax because yes, she was ok, and everything would be ok.

She just nodded and pulled him into a hug ignoring the pain her body felt. "We are all ok Rusty. Don't worry."

As he pulled back he asked, "Did you get him?"

"We did."

"Good." She saw the tension release from his shoulders and until that moment she hadn't realized just how much Mr. Scanlon's threats had been affecting him too.

The doctor released all three of them at the same time stating they needed rest and that he didn't want to see any of them back in the ER anytime soon. There had been a few chuckles amongst the team at the statement, and it was nice to feel some sort of normalcy again.

"Come on let's go," Sharon said to Andrea, lifting gently on her uninjured arm. The younger woman was still in a little bit of shock and hadn't said much since the shots had started flying. She would be ok though; she just needed rest. They all needed rest.

"Where are we going?" Andrea looked up at her with glassy eyes, almost as though she were going to start crying at any moment.

"Home."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/n: So this is the second to the last chapter. I am posting this one and the next one at the same time. A giant shoutout to everyone that has made it this far. Also, thank you for all the reviews, messages, favorites, and follows. It has been a long ride, but we have made it! As always, enjoy!**

* * *

"So do you know why he did it?" Rusty asked.

They were sitting in the living room, home from the hospital, and none of them felt ready for bed yet.

Sharon moved a throw pillow into her lap and began to tell Andrea and Rusty what the team had found so far. Scanlon was the brother of a witness that had testified in a gang murder trial that Andrea had prosecuted. The witness, Jerome, was killed after the trial. Scanlon blamed Andrea because he felt the DDA had pressured Jerome into testifying. There was a history of psychotic delusions and Scanlon had even spent some time in a Northern California mental institution. It was all just a series of events that had managed to set Scanlon off into another break.

It was sad really.

The three of them sat in silence for a bit, just thinking about the previous weeks, events from today, and how lucky they had been.

Finally, Andrea broke the silence, "Thank you Sharon. I owe you and your team tremendously." She took a deep breath. "And thank you both for allowing me to stay here, it meant—means a lot."

Sharon grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "You would have done the same for us."

But Andrea wasn't sure she would have. Sure, she would have done her best to help, but she wasn't a cop. She couldn't have come in guns blazing to save Sharon at the last moment.

Sharon and Rusty shared a look before he spoke. Andrea found it fascinating to see the silent communication those two were capable of. "You know you can still stay here. When you are ready to go home, we will go with you to help clean up." Sharon nodded her head in agreement.

It was a good thing because she had no intention of leaving tonight. She was too tired and still trying to figure out a way to decompress and process.

"Maybe tomorrow, or the next day. I just need to wrap my head around the fact that he is gone," she replied.

"Of course," Sharon said squeezing her hand again.

Rusty stood, "Does anyone want a drink or something to eat?"

"I'll take some wine, but I can get it." Andrea started to stand, but he waved her back down and looked at Sharon who just shook her head no.

He brought back the wine, sat a glass of water in front of Sharon, and then excused himself to his room.

The two women sat for a while in comfortable silence, Andrea tentatively sipping her wine. She sat the wine down and turned to face Sharon. "How are you feeling?"

The older woman had her head back on the cushions and her eyes closed. "I've been better. How are _you_ feeling?"

Ok. Sure. Deflection. She was used to that by now and two could play at that game.

Andrea stood, "Let's go to bed. We both need rest."

Sharon opened her eyes and took in Andrea's now standing form. Giving in she got to her feet and followed the blonde.

* * *

Three days had passed since the ordeal at the courthouse. Things were returning to normal and now Rusty was headed to Andrea's to help her clean up and get moved back in. Sharon couldn't come with him; she wasn't feeling up to it. Her surgery was tomorrow and he had insisted she just rest. Surprisingly, she hadn't protested and that worried him.

As he pulled up, Andrea was still standing out on the porch. She was just looking at the front door. He rushed to get out and asked, "You ok?"

She turned, a little startled, "Uh yeah, I guess I'm still weirded out about going in."

He chuckled at her word choice. Andrea was cool in his book, but sometimes she was a little uptight. It was always a little relieving to see her acting normal.

Eventually they made it inside and cleaned up. After a few hours, all the destroyed furniture was outside at the curb for pick up, the inside was clean, and they had even managed to hang all the pictures back on the walls.

He collapsed onto the couch, and Andrea fell into one of the chairs. He couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Andrea sprawled out without a care in the world, and she started laughing with him.

Once the laughter subsided she said, "Thank you for all of your help. I really don't know if I could've done it by myself."

"You're welcome. That guy was an asshole for doing that…and everything else. I'm glad it's over."

"Me too."

They shared a smile, and he figured he should head home. Tomorrow was going to be a long day and he needed to get ready. "You are coming tomorrow right?" he asked, standing up and stretching.

He wanted Andrea to be there mainly because he didn't want to sit in the waiting room along all day. Emily and Ricky wouldn't be here for a few more days, and that meant Andrea was the only other person Sharon wouldn't protest being there.

"I will be there."

She stood to walk him out and thanked him again, which he said wasn't necessary, but then a thought occurred to him. "Uh—If you get _weirded_ out or whatever, you know you can always come over right?"

Andrea's face was a mixture of sadness and something he couldn't quite put his finger on. "Thank you. I'm going to be fine though." She patted his shoulder, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," he said as he turned to walk to his car.

Andrea was a good person and she hadn't deserved the things that had happened to her, but she was strong. He knew she would be alright.

/

As he stuck his key in the door, he was surprised to hear a man's voice on the other side. Pushing the door open, he saw Andy sitting in one of the orange chairs and Sharon on the couch.

"Hey," he said in greeting, closing the door and locking it before turning back around.

Sharon said, "Hey," and Andy just nodded in acknowledgement.

It was obvious that he was interrupting their conversation and he felt a little awkward just standing there shifting on his feet. So he just said something about being in his room and headed off down the hall.

It was tempting to want to eavesdrop, but he didn't. He just sat on his bed and pulled out his laptop. There was an essay he had to write and other homework to get ahead on so he could be there for Sharon after her surgery.

* * *

Sharon had been surprised to find Andy on the other side of the door when she opened it an hour and a half ago. They had maintained easy conversation, catching each other up on what was going on. It was always easy with Andy, well other than the awkward time after he told her he loved her—that had been uncomfortable—but before that it had been easy.

Today, they had managed to find that rhythm again. Well, they had it until he asked if she wanted him to continue to wait for her. He said it had been months and he knew a lot had happened, but if she thought she would one day be ready, he would wait.

That was just about the time Rusty walked through the door. He had taken the hint and gone to his room, but the question was still lingering. Andy put her on the spot and she hadn't been the least bit prepared for it.

She was just staring at him trying to come up with the words. _The right words._ She wasn't sure though. She didn't know what she was going to want, and she didn't even know when she might be ready to even think about it. She had to say something though, the silence was deafening.

"Andy—I can't ask you to wait and I can't tell you what I will want…The only thing I can tell you is that I want to beat this cancer, and I want to be able to come back to work. I just can't ask you to do that when I'm not sure…It's unfair."

"Life isn't fair Sharon." He stood and looked her in the eyes, "I shouldn't have put you in this position right now with everything else going on." Sharon stood to follow him to the door. He stopped and opened it turning to look at her again. "I hope tomorrow goes well, and I'll talk to you later, Captain."

Before she could respond, he was through the door and gone.

She shook her head and closed the door. Why was it that all the men in her life seemed to have the worst timing in the world?

She didn't have long to think about it because on her way back to the couch she broke out in a coughing spell. They were becoming more frequent and severe. Rusty came out of his room a minute later and sat beside her rubbing her back and helping hold the water glass steady.

She felt pathetic and weak.

The things she despised.

After the coughing subsided all she felt was exhaustion.

Rusty moved off the couch and helped her lie down. Sleep overtook her without another word passing between them.

* * *

 _I'll see you when you wake up._

Those had been the last words he said to Sharon before they rolled her back.

Now, it was just a waiting game. The team had called and talked to Sharon. Her other kids had called. Her parents had called. Andrea was there to wish her luck and wait with Rusty. But somehow it didn't feel like enough to him. He felt like there should have been more. Sharon deserved more.

The surgery would take less than an hour. The surgeon had been sure to explain it all to him so that he understood. Rusty had been thankful for that because the doctor made it sound less scary than the Internet had. She would probably even go home today.

Sharon had gone into surgery about 20 minutes ago, but he was already getting antsy. Andrea was watching him pace up and down the hallway over the top of her magazine. He could feel her gaze and it was doing nothing but raise his anxiety. After a few more trips up and down the hall he heard Andrea say his name. He spun to look at her.

"Why don't you sit down for a minute? You're making me dizzy."

He just shrugged and sat down.

When the hour mark hit, he was starting to get worried. Well, more worried than he had been to begin with. Andrea put a hand on his knee to stop it from bouncing.

"She's going to be fine. Don't worry, they are probably just moving her to recovery or something."

Right. Don't worry.

That was impossible.

"It's been an hour," he stated matter of factly, as though she didn't know that already.

He spent the next 10 minutes trying to stay out of his own head and thoughts, to simply be there and think positive. It was something Sharon did sometimes. One time she had explained how she meditated and tried to be _in the moment and present._ He wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but he was trying.

The surgeon emerged from a door down the hall and Rusty met him halfway.

"Everything went well. We had to take more than originally thought and a few lymph nodes, but it's good news. We sent the labs to the pathologist and she should have those results tomorrow. I've spoken to her oncologist, he will be by before she is released to talk about the next move."

Rusty released a breath he hadn't known he was holding as he tried to process everything the doctor said. Finally, Rusty felt himself nodding. This was good. "Thank you. Can I see her?"

"I will send someone to get you when they have her settled in recovery." He paused for a minute before finishing. "She's lucky to have you Rusty. Make sure you take care of yourself too." With that he was gone.

Rusty felt the puzzled look on his face and wondered where the hell that had come from. That guy didn't know anything about him. And he was taking care of himself. Duh.

He noticed the nurse coming his way and turned to Andrea. She looked relieved and that calmed him a little more.

He asked, "Can I go in alone first?"

"Of course," Andrea replied knowingly.

* * *

Sharon was fully awake when the nurse led Rusty in. They hadn't put her fully out for the surgery, so the only effects she was still having was the feeling of being somewhat weightless. It was a good feeling; for the first time in months she was pain free.

Rusty, however, didn't look as though he was doing as well as she felt. He looked stressed and tired. She was almost positive he wasn't sleeping.

"Hey," she said as he approached her bed.

"How do you feel?"

She hated that question. And he knew that.

"Tired, but I'm not in pain." She let a smile grace her lips in an attempt to calm his worry.

"That's good. Uh—I'm gonna go get Andrea." He turned, but something bothered Sharon. Maybe it was just the stress of the situation, but something was off.

"Honey," she said before he could make it to the door. He spun on his heel and looked at her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, but came and sat back down next to the bed. Rusty had always been good at sending mixed signals. The problem was maybe her head was a little foggy and she was lacking clarity on what exactly could be running through his head.

"Rusty, what is it?"

His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. "It's not a big deal and it can definitely wait Sharon."

"I don't want to wait, and if it is bothering you it is a big deal."

There was a knock on the door as it was pushed open. Her normal doctor came walking in. Sharon gave Rusty a look that said their conversation wasn't over, but he looked relieved.

The prognosis was great. Chemotherapy and radiation for another month, maybe two and that would be it, as long as the pathology report came back clear.

It was surreal. Had she really beaten this thing? Had they really managed to navigate their way through all of the crap life had thrown their way?

"Yes."

"Yes?" Rusty questioned.

"I didn't mean to say that aloud." She realized the doctor was still there. "Thank you," she said quietly.

The doctor smiled. "I'll see you in a few days." He turned and left but Sharon's focus was already back on Rusty.

"I can't believe it," he said timidly grabbing her hand.

"Everything is going to be ok."

This time they both believed it.

"I'm going to go get Andrea. She's going to be pumped."

They both laughed a little as he left.

 _Thank God,_ she thought.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/n: I want to thank all of you for sticking with me through this entire story. This is the final chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

One year cancer free. It was a miracle.

That's all he could thank as he rushed around the condo helping Emily and Ricky decorate. They were throwing a party. Sharon had no idea, but he knew how great her sense of occasion was. Therefore, he knew she would be happy.

Things were going good for both of them. Rusty still saw Dr. Joe occasionally, but for the most part he was doing better. School was good. There was a guy he was talking to. He was even writing for pleasure again. Life was _normal._ Sharon was back to being a badass at work. It had taken a while, but she was mostly her old self again.

He was so glad that life had surprised him. For once things had worked out.

"Rusty you've got to go. Keep her gone until everyone gets here. I'll text you," Emily said taking the balloons out of his hands.

It was his job to keep Sharon busy so the team could escape the office and make it to the condo. Gavin was coming, and a couple of other friends. It was going to be exciting if it all worked out. Luckily, Andrea had volunteered to help him distract Sharon.

* * *

Sharon sat in her office, patiently waiting for Andrea and Rusty to arrive. Her team was shooting her tentative looks, waiting on the word so they could leave.

Everyone thought that she was oblivious to what was happening tonight, and she was enjoying keeping up the charade. Ricky had told her last week that he had to take a trip this week, and Emily had made up some excuse about going away for the week with some friends; both were excuses for why she wouldn't be able to reach them today or "probably the rest of the week really". Those had been Ricky's words. Then, Rusty said that he and Andrea wanted to take her to see an art gallery. First off, Rusty didn't go to any gallery willingly, and even though it wasn't unusual for the three of them to go out—actually it was becoming more and more of a regular thing—the timing was suspicious.

Not to mention, Provenza had done most of the paperwork today in order for the team to leave at a "decent hour". Provenza never did paperwork willingly. The pieces were all there.

Did they not remember that she was a detective?

She decided to make things easy and give the team a head start. That would cut down on the time Rusty had to keep her busy and away from the condo. Just as she had released the team, Andrea and Rusty came through the door laughing about something. The sound of their laughter made her smile.

Those two had held each other together through the worst of times; times that Sharon herself was not able to be the rock they needed. Andrea had told her a few months ago that that was a lie, and even when she had been at her lowest she still was the glue that held it all together. Sharon wasn't in agreement completely, but it was nice to hear. They had all made it out alive and that was all that mattered.

"Hey mom, you ready to go?" Rusty asked.

"Almost. I just need to get my things."

* * *

He sat surveying the room from a chair in the dining room. Everyone was talking and mingling now. The party was a success. Sharon looked truly happy going from group to group talking and making sure everyone was thanked for their thoughtfulness. Extra time was spent with her older children, Andrea, and Provenza. The lieutenant had taken her out on the balcony to talk, and when they returned Sharon's eyes were glistening. Obviously whatever he had said touched her. Everyone knew that deep down he was a softy, and Patrice made sure that he showed that side more often than in the past. It was sweet that they had found each other.

Sharon caught Rusty's eye and smiled before turning back to her conversation.

He had figured out that she knew about the party in the car. They stopped at Andrea's so that she could change clothes, and then once they were back in the car Sharon kept checking her watch. She only did that when she was anxious to be somewhere. There was no way she was anxious to be at a gallery he had made up on the spot yesterday.

She had played along the whole time just to make sure she didn't ruin the surprise for everyone else. That was such a _Sharon_ thing for her to do. It was also something that made him love her even more.

Provenza grabbed a glass and clinked a spoon against it signaling for everyone to listen up for his speech. Sharon stood beside her children and waved him over. He sped over to her side, and relished in the fact that she wrapped an arm around him, squeezing tight. Midway through the rest of the team's speeches she leaned down and whispered, "I love you."

That was all he needed. That's all any of them needed. No matter what the future held as long as he had that it would be ok.


End file.
